The element that holds it all together
Posted Oct 16, 1999
There is this stuff, we thought it to be gravity or adhesion properties of mass that holds the universe together.Well, I used to work for Convention media and there I learned as a cameraman,technician and gaffer what the reality is. The substance that keeps all things in line is...duct tape.In the biz we call it "gaffer tape".Whatever you call it -it works.It is the stuff of life.If nothing else will hold that door tightly jammed to the jamb, gaffer tape will. It is the magical stuff that only the techies can fully appreciate. I once visited the home of a fellow tech and I was amazed ! Duct tape held together his refrigerator, it kept his paintings pinned to the wall. The flat black stuff is a marvel.It even comes in different colors.I work in New Orleans and we have a factory somewhere that manufactures the stuff and you can always tell by the smell of it. Open up a fresh strip of it and you are immediately aware of the pungent aroma of cat pee.I don't know what olfactory -challenged person came up with the concoction but it does hold up pretty well as an adhesive.Duct tape is the best.
A Toast - to Sir Paul
Posted Oct 10, 1999
Of the fab four , my favorite person has always been Paul. I think my second favorite would have to be Ringo followed by John and then George. Together, they were dynamite. They had the rock n'roll edge and a touch of the symphonic polish later on. But still, I can't help but like Paul.He's so nonchalant about who he is.Never boorish (like John could be)Never pretentious.Just who he was, this gifted pianist,guitarist with a penchant for a great melody and lyric line.The ultimate crafter of the pop hook and synthesizer of sounds he could blend together to come up with something all his own.His work has always had the bubbly optimism we need to cheer us from time to time.And even in the face of criticism he could look it square in the face and build a song from it."Silly Love Songs" - another optimistic and hard to ignore pop song.The guy is terrific, I like his music and I like him , I applaud his Run,Devil Run outing.A good look back to his roots in the rock scene.Paul - here's to you. Thanks for the music and the memories from Uncle Albert to Flaming Pie, you are indeed an original.
Posted Sep 27, 1999
If there's one place I do not like, it is the hospital. I abhor the shrine to human suffering with supposed cures for all things including hangnails. The white walls, the tiled walls, the cheaply papered walls with ammonia smelling floors with sick people in chairs reading year old copies of People. Auuuuuughhhh! Just the thought of it sends me into a near catatonic state. But it doesn't because if it did, I'd end up in the damn place. I really dread hospitals. I avoid them like the plague because --- THAT's WHERE ALL THE SICK PEOPLE ARE! The well people are not spending their time there except that they have to bring their relatives.It's a sure place to get sick because all the sickos are right there complaining about this ache or that little festering boil that runs right onto the chair - Aughh!I don't even understand the people who watch tv shows like ER. I mean, who in the hell wants to watch this group of people running the damn hospital? Who writes this stuff thinking " oh , here's what people want to see, this guy with a hernia in the waiting room for comic relief!" To the dungeon with that writer!Hell for me would be sitting in a waiting room at 2 a.m. with a television on playing Chicago Hope and four nurses sitting there in rapt attention with the rest of us sick people who would beg for someone to please switch on Jerry Springer for something realistic and sane. Hospitals - aughh! (Ps : for those who are lame enough to think I meant that about Jerry Springer "Get lives!")
Movies big time
Posted Sep 19, 1999
I love movies, big time. I grew up going to movies for the experience of leaving this life and living another through the vicarious imaginations of others.There's nothing quite like the edited experience.My lifetime motto is to edit reality then throw away the tapes.These days I guess, I'll edit reality then erase the harddrive or at least edit what's on it.My favorite movies that mimic reality, however are those that stay true to their themes , places and environs. One reason I don't like much of what's been done on television in the "tv movie" category is that these quickly slapped together programs skirt the real settings and times supposedly being represented. On the other extreme, however, I do love the bad sorcery and sorceress flicks. While I would watch one of those paens to bad filmdom, I would never watch Xena. These programs are too slickly produced to be enjoyable.They therefore fall into a strange sort of mediocrity.The scripts stink, the acting is only passable but the design and physical production are pretty good, from the few seconds I have seen.But the big time movie makers and their products really hold me. Stanley Kubrick was the consummate film lover's filmmaker. He didn't just put unconnected scenes together at random and hope the incidental music would pull it all together.Instead, he put together scenes with emotional impact and crafted them to come together.He was a genius and I can think of no director alive today who fills his shoes. From the cut-to-the-chase movies to the comedy of Dr. Strangelove, he was great. I watched 2001 when I was 8 years old in a mostly empty theatre and found myself absorbing the code. The film is in my video cabinet and remains a favorite. Big movies, big time.
Posted Sep 12, 1999
My wife and I recently got into a good fight over the fact that I am constantly announcing that I hate children.Now, I have 6 children all between the ages of 12 and 2 and if you think that having such a crew around is a picnic, I have some swampland very close I'd like to sell you.It's not that I hate my children.And it's not really that I hate children themselves but I really hate what children do.They are constantly testing our authority by doing things they know to be irritating or against what you've said.They are destroyers, pillaging and plundering.At the ages of 2 to 4 they don't care that a toilet is provided for them when a pillow will do.And they don't care that it's not their pillow but yours they are defecating on.When they get near something breakable,they break it. Something spillable, they spill it. If they are near something neat and organized, it is their duty to upend and disorganize it.They drive me insane (short trip). And then after a day of this, they demand that you love and get cuddly with them or their little hearts will be broken.I really hate that.It amazes me that the human race has survived to this point, seeing as how each generation had children.
Hoop the Mottle