h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay so I can't remember the lyrics so well, but never mind!

I woke up this morning to the remnants of a dream in which I was sailing across the ocean in a largeish yacht, with one other random person who doesn't like sailing; I think it was my mother? Anyway the waves were kinda largish but not horribly so, enough to make the other person a bit worried and to make me busy trying to keep us on course and the sail tight etc.

Okay so there wasn't much interesting about the dream, but of course when I wake up with those kind of images in my head I always have them simmering in my brain until I wake up a bit more, by which time this morning I had gone past thinking about sailing to Canada (because I can't afford to buy a big enough yacht, and I don't have the skills or resources to make one,) I'd gone past remembering that my dwarf aparrantly spent a bit of time in Finland or somewhere working with a load of boatbuilders and medieval enactors (leading to the assertion that he was going to (quote) "...invade New Zealand with a boatload of Danes." (Wait, maybe it was Denmark...) ) but he's probably not going to be back here before I leave anyway, so asking his help in sailing out of the country is a bit pointless.

So sailing to Canada is probably out of the question, but wouldn't it be cool to fly?
Queue images of those old wooden hand-made flying machines; of the type where you attach large plywood wings to someone's arms, or jitter them to pieces as they pedal furiously in the middle of a bouncing, flapping contraption. I think it was at this point I got the song stuck in my head: "Those magnificent men in their flying machines/ they go up-diddly-dup-up/ they go down-diddly-aargh-crap!" Or whatever.
It would be supremely cool to actually get one of those contraptions to work, especially well enough to get me around the world. Instant fame, just add water.
Queue more images, slightly more modern: Richard Branson in his hot air balloon (too expensive for me to build); A giant balloon with a ship-type shape under it (like the classical one in the movie the mummy returns, if you've seen it)... imagine how cool that would be... but then imagine the resources I'd need to be able to make it. Damn.

So something simpler then. Like a hang glider. And this is the thought that has been bugging me since I had it. Why not a giant hang glider? Do they get more efficient as they get larger? Can they travel higher; or longer distances? Or with less updraft? How well do they cope over water? Could I make it to Australia? Or further? Would I need to only travel during the day? How fast would I have to go to be able to do that?

Okay so there are a lot of questions, but at least it's something I could probably do. The theory is simple enough; tubing plus material. Anything else is details, right? Food, water, warmth, comms, GPS, what about lights? Weather protection? Satellite tracking? International border passes? I'd draw the line at carrying chaff to distract any missile fire above the coast of China or something. But all the rest I could either scrounge, make myself, or get sponsorship from someone wanting to support someone doing something weird which will probably make them very famous and possibly make them very dead.

It's worth thinking about, right?

well yes, definately. keep thinking about it. unless of course you actaully think it could possibly make you very dead, or even slightly dead... then i think you should stop thinking about it immideately. because you're not allowed to die, and thats all there is to it!

however, all interesting ideas. i'd like to go sailing, i've never been before. so i'd say that if thats the way you were going i'd go with you, but i live in the place you're comming to, so that wouldnt work.
but it'd be easy to come see me my town is right on the water.

!

I always have weird dreams since I started taking vitamins.

I have been thinking about it more.

The /major/ problem is that I've never been hanggliding before, so I don't know /exactly/ what it's like. I can't be intuitive about stuff like how much lift it's possible to get over the ocean at night.
Whereas by comparison, I /do/ know how to sail, and I know exactly what that would take. It's just not as good a solution to the problem at hand.

But probably the best way to find out is to make my own hangglider and try not to kill myself by learning how to fly it.

The next question would be whether it's sustainable enough to work; it's a heck of a long distance to travel - and it would be nice to do it at a bit more than walking speed. I worked out the estimates last night, and figured out that even at a reasonable speed in a straight line, it would take at least 36 hours to get to Oz. Which means not sleeping for 36 hours. And being able to eat without landing or throwing myself around too much. And so on.

Perhaps I will have to give in and go with some form of transport which has an engine.

But that's not as funky.

We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz.......

Whut?

well so long as you're very careful not to kill yourself.....

well you mentioined Oz, and i assumed you didnt mean like in the movie with dorthy... but i must confess that i have no idea where Oz is....

Oh. Right. Oz is a contraction; it's short for Australia. 'coz it sounds like the first syllable.

.... i dont see that... or rather i dont hear it....
*says australia a few times out loud*
no..... it sounds like its spelled for me... maybe if i had a cool accent.....

Are you saying it "Ow-stray-lee-ah" or something?

Man, that would sound worse than someone from 'Pirth' trying to say "Seex feesh ind sum Cheeps mayt"
And a 'Pirth' accent is even worse than a 'Seednie' accent.

Try saying it "Oz-trail-iah," instead.

well... something like that....
ask me to say it for you some time... or maybe i'll remember....
but i'll give it a try saying it your way.

Well I don't know about the two of you, but I say it with an "s" sound. "Os-trail-ia".

Ah there we go, that's even better.

I talk too fast and I'm lazy it normally ends up as Stralia unless the only word in the sentance (phrase even) is Australia.

I tend to say NZ more though!

Why do you say NZ more often?

And just out of interest, when you say it, do you usually say "Enzed," or "New Zealand"?

NZ and becuase I have no need to talk about 'Stralia because... I dunno probably because you aren't living there.

Wow! You talk about me in RL? I'm flattered!

'course he does!
i do too

Partly because I talk about you to Arisz.