h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Queen Victoria's husband was named Albert. They had 10 children. Could this be an omen?

Then he died of typhoid - what kind of omen is that?

'Sides, he's multiplied more than ten times ;P

And lots of pigeons do unthinkable things to his statue in Trafalqer Square

Does this mean I'll have to start hanging out with Billy Connely? Which isn't overly bad as long as he stays dressed. ;P

He is married to a New Zealander. I'm not sure if that means good or bad taste, or on who's part.

I have entered the name "Uncle Albert's World Famous Tree Hut" as my entry in naming the h2g2 softball team's club house.

The whole sad story can be found at

http://www.h2g2.com/A112906

Sorry to butt in, but isn't that Nelson?
Alberts statue is in the erm, Albert Memorial. You can spot the difference, 'cos (1) Albert was almost complete when he died, whereas Nelson had already been partially dismantled, and (2) Nelson is a couple of hundred feet up so that the pigeons can't fail to spot him, while Albert is hiding in a huge Victorian bus shelter.

Thankyou Grey Area. Incompetence is just one of my many underrated skills

My best friend's nickname is Albert, because he looks like the Fifth Muskateer (don't ask). He's a gay chain-smoking church organist. Could this be related to the nastiness on your neck? BTW, I too have a very large lump inside my neck, and it hurts if you flick it. BTW again, do I know you? Probably not, as I live in Yorkshire, but you never know...

Don't think I know you - unless you've been to Australia lately, or also go by the name of Stab 'im. As for the fifth Muskateer - we have the show but I don't watch it. And about the chain smoking - no nothing there - mind you I probably get a nice lungfull every time I use the school toilets...

Is Albert about seven feet tall with a dodgy haircut? And does he phone you at two in the morning to tell you that he feels paranoid? If so, it may still be the same person...

Possibly it was that well knowen Italian gentleman Alberti. Famous architect, painter, writer and musician in the 15th century.

I believe he was a bit of a ladies man.

Uhh, no Albert's not like any of your discriptions, he is a lump in my neck which I named Albert in a sleep deprived stupor

I realise that. I was just checking out a few other famous Alberts.

My cat has a pet cockroach named Ken

OKay Loons - just checking....

I think ht cockroach should be called Eric myself...

And why would that be, may I ask, Shelley?

I believe that at the time I worte that the 'Eric the half-a-bee' sketch was playing on my CD.

Eric the cat, Eric the fish - why not Eric the cockroach?

And the cow and the chicken....

Oh my god. This is getting hysterical...

Albert Einstein's barman had a hegehog called Eric I believe

I had goldfish called Eric when I was little!