This is the Message Centre for steve-paul ---- no lyrics!!<wah>

William Dampier Entry

Post 1



Hi, steve-paul, I've Sub-edited your Entry, so have a look and make sure everything is alright. smiley - cheers

William Dampier Entry

Post 2

steve-paul ---- no lyrics!!<wah>

Hi, thankssmiley - cheers

there is just a few things [that are my fault] that are real nitpicks:

smiley - pirate (first paragraph) ---> "was THE first man to circumnavigate",

smiley - pirate (first paragraph) ---> I don't think the 'and' needs to be there before "going on to do it a third time."smiley - erm

smiley - pirate (first paragraph..againsmiley - winkeye): ---> maybe a semicolan after "lived in" instead of ",and".

smiley - pirate (third paragraph) ---> maybe no comma after "parents had died"

smiley - pirate (third paragraph) ---> i think deckhand is one word

smiley - pirate (eleventh paragraph ('Travels to Australia')) --->
---> i think that should be one sentence

thanks againsmiley - ok

William Dampier Entry

Post 3


smiley - dohSorry for what I missed or messed up. I think I would leave that 'and' in there, though. It makes more sense to me to leave it.

William Dampier Entry

Post 4

steve-paul ---- no lyrics!!<wah>

no, you didn't mess up anythingsmiley - ok, thanks, it's looking goodsmiley - cheers.

I'm going to be away for a few days so if i don't reply to anything after tonight don't think i'm being rudesmiley - winkeye.

William Dampier Entry

Post 5


Is it good to go, then?

William Dampier Entry

Post 6

steve-paul ---- no lyrics!!<wah>

smiley - winkeye

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