This is the Message Centre for Bluebottle

Subbing Winston's films

Post 1

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Here's your recommended version of Winston's films: A87983662 - please go click the subscribe button!

Just out of interest, who's your favourite actor to play Winston?


Subbing Winston's films

Post 2

Bluebottle

Am I allowed to say Paul Eddington when playing Jim Hacker in 'Yes (Prime) Minister'?

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 3

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - laugh


Subbing Winston's films

Post 4

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

"Since 1940 every Caucasian baby born in Britain has looked like Winston Churchill." I have to object. My daughter Laura was so beautiful that a midwife who turned into work came to find me to tell me that she was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen in her 30 years of midwifery. So I'm not just biased. She had jet black hair, deep-sapphire blue eyes, rosebud lips and a tiny button nose. I couldn't believe she was mine. smiley - loveblush

So can I change it to: Since 1940 almost all Caucasian babies born in Britain have looked like Winston Churchill.

smiley - tea

>>This was a disaster as, instead of securing vital strategic positions such as nearby high ground, the troops were so delighted to be beside the seaside that they started building sandcastles on the beach and playing in the sea.<< smiley - yikes did they really?


Subbing Winston's films

Post 5

Bluebottle

Go on then, you can change it to 'almost all' smiley - winkeye

And yes, after the landing some troops stopped and played on the beach without securing the high ground. They believed another regiment was going to do it, but they had been delayed by defenders the high ground nearby was left unoccupied so that soon the Ottoman troops easily captured it and the campaign was a complete failure.

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 6

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Jurassic Park (1996)

I recall that unforgettable film being 1993, I double-checked and yes, it was released in 1993.


Subbing Winston's films

Post 7

Bluebottle

smiley - dohYou're right, that was an error or typo on my part, and Great Escape is 1963 too.

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 8

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

Fixedsmiley - biro

smiley - tea

>>boarding school where he is severely caned, beaten and bloodied for such terrible crimes as not knowing the correct way in Latin to invoke, address or speak to a table. <<
I really don't understand that smiley - erm do you mean addressing people sitting around a table?

smiley - tea

>>It also contrasts Winston with his father, who despite being Winston's idol always looks down on his son despite being completely eclipsed by his memory.<<
smiley - starDo you mean "compares" instead of "contrasts"?
smiley - starCan we rephrase that without the repeated word "despite" in the same sentence?


Subbing Winston's films

Post 9

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

>>He's our son, but we mustn't blind ourselves, must we? He's no scholar. Can you imagine him qualifying for the bar or cutting any kind of figure in politics? So unless you see him in the church, you see the army's all that's left.<<

smiley - starShouldn't that be "So unless you see him in the church, you'll see the army's all that's left."

Although if that's a quote it shouldn't be altered, but I can add ['ll] after "you".


Subbing Winston's films

Post 10

Bluebottle

I'll see if I can answer your questions now.

At school it is an actual table - wooden thing with four legs that often has food and drink on - that he is asked how to correctly invoke, address and speak to - and when he replies that he doesn;t talk to tables he is caned.

smiley - biroYes, we can certainly tweak that sentence - how about:
"It also compares Winston with his father, who despite being Winston's idol always looks down on his son though he has since been completely eclipsed by his memory"

As for the sentence,
>>He's our son, but we mustn't blind ourselves, must we? He's no scholar. Can you imagine him qualifying for the bar or cutting any kind of figure in politics? So unless you see him in the church, you see the army's all that's left.<<

'you see' is correct. They are discussing the future, true, but he is trying to persuade his wife to agree with him in the present. He is essentially saying 'Unless you see him [having a future] in the church, you see [now that] the army's all that left' as they are planning on what to do with Winston now - and what school to send him to in the present - in order to secure a job for him in the future.

Hope that makes sense.

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 11

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - ok

>>Though Chamberlain wants Viscount Halifax to succeed him the only Conservative politician that the opposition parties will work serve in a coalition government is Winston Churchill.<<

Something missing there, smiley - grovel


Subbing Winston's films

Post 12

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

>>Forced to work closely and appoint his political enemies Chamberlain and Halifax into his War Cabinet, Churchill is distrusted by the king particularly after he refuses to admit that the allies are losing the Battle of France and that the French are about to surrender without attempting to fight back, leaving the British Expeditionary Force stranded.<<

We need to break that up:
Churchill is forced to appoint his political enemies Chamberlain and Halifax into his War Cabinet and work closely with them. (?)
He is distrusted by the king, particularly after he refuses to admit that the allies are losing the Battle of France and that the French are about to surrender without attempting to fight back, leaving the British Expeditionary Force stranded.


Subbing Winston's films

Post 13

Bluebottle

Thanks for returning to tackle the monster smiley - winkeye

Okay, the first sentence can be rephrased as:
smiley - peacesignThough Chamberlain wants Viscount Halifax to succeed him, the only Conservative politician that the opposition parties will serve with in a coalition government is Winston Churchill.

The next chunk could be reworded to the clearer (though longer):

Despite the support of the Labour and Liberal parties, Churchill is distrusted by his own party Churchill and is forced to appoint his political enemies and rivals Chamberlain and Halifax into key positions in his War Cabinet and work closely with them, despite their strong opposition to his determination to continue fighting Nazi Germany. The king also has no confidence in Churchill, particularly after Churchill refuses to admit that the allies are losing the Battle of France. With a French surrender inevitable, leaving the British Expeditionary Force stranded and surrounded, matters reach a crisis point both militarily and politically.

Do those suggestions work better?

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 14

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

I have changed "Churchill is distrusted by his own party Churchill"
smiley - laugh

I have done all thatsmiley - biro
and finally done with this smiley - monstersmiley - puffsmiley - winkeye

If you'd like to read through and OK it I will return it to the Eds smiley - cheers

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - run


Subbing Winston's films

Post 15

Bluebottle

A couple of last-minute tweaks, if I may?

Let's change 'Caucasian' to 'white'.

'Labour's promise to creating the NHS and Welfare State' – should be 'create'

And near the end can we change sentence ' Having fought in India during his youth, in later life he was particularly opposed to Indian independence' to:
Having fought in India during his youth, in later life he was particularly opposed to Indian independence and is often accused of failing to address the 1943 Bengal Famine.

Other than that all good – press the button!

<BB<


Subbing Winston's films

Post 16

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - ok and smiley - magic button pressed!

smiley - cheers


Key: Complain about this post