h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hope we're not given any more tasks to do as we're not keeping up-to-date with the ones that we're doing at the moment... But apparently there's been the biggest interest in applying for the voluntary severance scheme eve, I wonder who is applying? There's a fair chance that I'll never see people I used to work with every day ever again, and didn't even know they were going or have a chance to say goodbye. That's a very strange thought. There are also rumours that all the offices will be changed to allow for social distant working - I hope I'll be able to get a chance to save my stuff before any changes to my desk is made. Will I ever get a chance to drink the Irn Bru I bought on 18th March and has been under my desk ever since?

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary! 15 years of marriage and it boils down to the question of whether a bunch of flowers from the petrol station counts as being romantic, or still taboo, when they're the only place nearby that sells them? To celebrate my wife was given an asset from 'The Mandalorian' while I received a Lego set that'll keep me busy this weekend.

So what was the VR kitchen like? Sounds a bit like the old adventure games like the 'Discworld' series.

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Yes, our voluntary severance scheme has seen a lot of interest, too - I am aware of one person that I may or may not get chance to meet before they go but will at least be able to speak to them to say goodbye - there is likely to be even more change before September...

Yes, the poor lonely Irn Bru will hopefully be able to be collected soonish - my lonely box of teabags is still holding the fort in my desk drawer... And you also need to bring your mug back into the fold

Happy Anniversary! Glad you had a good day and exchanged lovely gifts In this day and age it is lucky if a shop is open, so petrol station flowers are much more of an asset than they used to be...

Yes, the VR kitchen was a bit of an adventure game at first, trying to work out what to do, and then exploring all the interactive options. It was a funny kitchen - the sink was in the middle, on an island counter with a breakfast bar, then on one wall there was a double oven, a counter, cupboards and a fridge. There was a coffee machine that changed colour when I clicked it, a mirror that changed shape when I clicked it, and a weird rack with pieces of plastic on it that were clickable but I couldn't tell what effect they were having!

My copy of your book arrived today I flicked through it and am impressed by the print quality. I'm pleased to see the cameos in there, too - especially of Neovenator I look forward to reading it properly at the weekend

I hope you all have a good weekend

Strangely there's likely to be one person in my own team (the one who is the replacement for the first person to cover the maternity leave post) who I will never actually work in the same office as 'cos I believe the person they're covering is due back late July...

As well as Irn Bru, tea bags and mug I've got quite an extensive selection of pens on my desk, stationary stationery and a few s too that I bought and were too big to go in my bag for the bike ride home... And my paperweight collection of pedals that have snapped off my bike, of course...

Great to hear the arrived - I hope you enjoy reading that and seeing some new material - including one page coloured in with the new colouring pencils - see if you can guess which page number it is. And cameo appearances too from Polly Canthus, Eve Eel and have you spotted who pops in from 'The Nativities are Restless'?

Had a rainy bike-ride today, only spitting so that wasn't too bad. More cycle lanes on the way to Southampton, apparently, though only temporary before evil motor cars return to pollute us all.

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Wow, that is a sign of the times that you have a team member who will only interact with you in the virtual sphere... I have a new colleague who started online this week, but we actually met in person a few years ago, when we were in different jobs!

Ah, yes it will be good for you to be reunited with your stationary stationery and pedals at some point... Shame about the books, but reading them will be something to look forward to as well... I managed to grab a good selection of stuff before the office closed, but I left a pile of papers behind and they were the first thing I was asked for on the first working day at home Managed to work round it eventually, anyway.

I certainly did enjoy reading your book Excellent blend of humour and poignancy... Good to study it in printed form, too, as there are plenty of details that I didn't notice online - Bogz!

The 'what do they want from me - blood?!" cartoon was very relatable, and well portrayed. My favourite is still the "Grow a beard or go mad" cartoon, though - the facial expressions are perfect...

I'm not sure which page was coloured with the new pencils, as all tje pages look impressively vivid, but my guess would be 47. I spotted the camel and donkey Your giraffe is cute, too!

Glad you had a good bike ride - that is a shame that the cycle tracks are currently only temporary, but hopefully demand will continue to be high in future so they would be made permanent. I went to the coast for birdwatching, and it was much busier than last time, but I managed to avoid other people and got some good photos, so that was pleasant. I've been busy so far this week with the CogX conference that Robbie Stamp advertised, as well as videoconferencing at work, but the sessions I have seen have been interesting, and it is good that I am able to attend from home, without needing travel time.

Another sign of the times is that the local off licence has closed and been replaced by a funeral director's...

I'm glad you enjoyed the book - and found some new cartoons there you hadn't previously seen. Does the order the pictures are in make sense and give the idea that there's an ongoing story?

And you're right - it was page 47 that was coloured with new colouring pencils, and the camel and donkey from 'The Nativities are Restless' made the cameo appearance via the Zoo conference call. Talking of zoos, it is good news that they're allowed to re-open as there's been worry about some potentially going under...

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Ah, yes that is another sign of the times...

Yes, the order of the pages is spot on, creating a storyline showing the developments over time The last cartoon is perfect as the finale

Aha! Page 47 has brighter blues in it, so that's what gave the clue

The Zoo conference call is great Yes, it is very good news that zoos can reopen. Chester Zoo held a fundraising event that helped a bit, but ticket sales make a much bigger difference... I read recently that the roof of the Monsoon Forest has been repaired, but there is still more work to be done before it is ready for animals.

I've had an epic week with videoconferencing in the evenings as well as in the day, but it is all very interesting. I'm hoping to go to the Art Exhibition shortly, and hopefully I don't get stuck in the kitchen again like last week I plan to see some more birds at the coast this weekend, but it will be dependent on the weather... I hope you had a good week, and I hope you all have a good weekend

I was really pleased how well the story seemed to work out and I was able to get a sense of flow to it (incidentally my work colleague I've not actually properly worked with is pictured in the Zoo chat too). And of course I had a on page 42.

Marwell Zoo is reopening too, but only outside areas - after they've spent a fortune over the last few years in upgrading their inside areas too. Which reminds me that next on the list of things for me to finish writing is the Marwell Zoo entry I started last summer...

Talking of old entries, the LCT Landing Craft (Tank) we'd discussed before has been in the local news lately:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-53024289
Makes a change from all the discussion over pedestrianising main shopping streets as otherwise how do you social distance when walking along a busy pavement?

Well, hope you enjoy the exhibition - I've heard of being in the kitchen at parties but not on online art exhibits... I was recommended one last week by a work colleague who knew I'd doodled: http://www.stephenfriedman.com/viewing-room/7-david-shrigley/?fbclid=IwAR2TQ3xzuAcYulzGok6ohZhhhHjzIGsNqkFX6MIfH7YAB1EVMF1CLv96opE That seems to be a more typical website, though.

And good luck with the bird watching - I'll look out for more photos.

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excellent

Amazing the impact of lockdown on things indeed... that is extra challenging for the LCT after it already had a difficult time in Birkenhead...

The exhibition didn’t go well, unfortunately... the gallery loaded 99% and then crashed Even the Youtube video preview wasn’t working, so it was very disappointing. I’ll check again next week and see if things are any better, but they might have been better off with a more typical website after all...

The David Shrigley lockdown drawings do have similarities with your cartoons The ‘I found the cure’ one is very like the one in your book. I can relate to ‘Disappointment’ about haircuts. I very much prefer your drawings, though I have bookmarked ‘grow a beard or go mad’

At least the LCT isn't as damp as it had been in Birkenhead...

Have you been listening to the Isle of Wight Festival highlights? Doesn't seem like a decade ago I was watching Sir Paul live.

I went for a 6 mile this morning as normal, and about 5 1/2 miles along I fell over - only it wasn't a fall, I was pushed!
I was more surprised than injured, fell on my hands and was able to push myself up straight away, fortunately, with nothing hurt but my pride. And the culprit was a particularly playful puppy. A very large , mind, that I hadn't spotted as I went down a dip in the path, then up the steep other side, got to the top where this very playful puppy was excited to see me, jumped up at me and knocked me over. Don't worry - puppy was fine, and the owner was very apologetic between laughing...
It was the second most embarrassing thing I've done all week.

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"At least the LCT isn't as damp as it had been in Birkenhead..." - very true...

I didn't hear any of the Isle of Wight Festival Highlights, but that is a good way for the show to go on in virtual form I can imagine you have great memories of seeing Sir Paul performing live

Wow, that was a shock for you - glad you were able to fall without injuring yourself after the pushed you over... I dread to think how large that puppy might grow, if it can already knock you over... Neighbours of mine admitted their dog has a particular liking for jumping up on wheelchair users, so I give that one a very wide berth, and it is only a King Charles Spaniel...

Sorry you had another incident last week that made you feel embarrassed - I hope this week is going better for you, so far at least.

I did a little bit of birdwatching at the weekend, but I did more weather watching instead, as we had some very impressive rainstorms and lightning... Did you get much rain?

I think with the incident it was a combination of being tired, unprepared for a dog (as I hadn't spotted it until it jumped at me) combined with a futile last-second effort to twist out of its way which meant I was slightly off balance anyway being on steeply sloping up ground anyway and being jumped on when I was twisting sideways and, if not quite a 'you could have knocked me down with a feather' situation, you certainly could knock me down with a puppy...

Embarrassment comes in different forms. So on Sunday I went to the local Co-op only for the woman in front of me - who I did not recognise, to say, 'Hello Matt' followed by saying to her children 'we work together'. I've no idea who she is...

But the most embarrassing situation happened early last week. On our wedding anniversary my wife bought me a present of a Lego model: http://www.lego.com/cdn/cs/set/assets/blt2f366bf7650b05ac/21317.jpg
It is a model of the SS Willie, the ship in the film 'Steamboat Willie', the first sound Mickey Mouse cartoon, a ship named in homage to classic Buster Keaton film 'Steamboat Bill Jnr'. I and the children were assembling it in stages over a few days.

At the end of my working day I go out for a bike ride or run to get away from the house for a bit, and then have a wash on my return and then spend time with the children. So early last week I went out for a , got home and called out 'I'm going to have a quick shower and then we can finish playing with my Willie', whereupon my wife burst out laughing hysterically. I was confused what was she laughing at? Until I mentally played back what I'd just said in my head

We had a little rain over the weekend, not too much and I was able to get out each day. Well, I say little - there was quite a lot actually, but in very sharp heavy bursts rather than prolonged rain (and I was indoors at the time which makes all the difference in thinking about how much rain there was). There was a rumble of thunder, but only one and I didn't spot the lightning.

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Ah, that's reassuring that the dog is not likely to do too much damage to other people, as it was just bad luck that it caught you off balance. Surprising what can happen, though - when I was 11, a 6 year old accidentally ran into me in the school playground and managed to tip me over sideways, so we have to be careful...

"Embarrassment comes in different forms."

Yes indeed! That is very tricky, seeing people out of context so you don't recognise them when they recognise you... Smile and wave and hope for the best!

That is a brilliant accidental joke - I like how it is totally innocent in written form but sounds... ahem... somewhat different A great Lego item - very cleverly adapted from the cartoon

Glad you were able to get out and about in between downpours We had the lightning on Sunday with very little thunder and then last night was more thunder than lightning, but I was able to avoid the worst of the rain when I went for my walks - being indoors looking out makes the difference in terms of enjoyment of storms indeed

Ah, the last 24 hours has been filled with power cuts - from about 12 - 3pm yesterday, which meant I missed a 12 noon zoom leaving do for one of my team who is going on maternity leave (not that she's been able to work from home since March as she's home alone with a toddler), and today we were without power from 8am - 1:30pm. We don't have gas, everything is electric so it meant no hot water, no cooking etc...

Today while we had no power we had to collect a school pack for my son filled with schoolwork for him to do - only it had to be collected from a school that he doesn't go to. So we - my son, daughter and I - had to cycle 2 miles to a school in the middle of nowhere didn't know the location of, find where the drama studio was in a school whose layout we didn't know, arriving at exactly 10:45am to collect it in the social distancing collection timeslot. I'm not sure why it couldn't have been posted?

I've also enjoyed looking out the window and watching the electricity company's vans coming and going, and the digger dig holes in the road.

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Oh no, that's not good at all... Was it the storms that caused the power cuts, or don't you know yet? I hope the problem is fixed very soon

Not good that you had to miss the online leaving do, too And I guess your inbox will have been filling up while you were offline, so good luck with that If it's not one thing, it's another with that inbox...

Well done for completing the quest for the schoolpack That was an epic excursion... Definitely sounds like there would be a better way of distributing the material than that - even moving the packs to the actual school the pupils go to would have made a difference, if they couldn't afford to post it...

Speaking of post I laughed today - a courier has been trying to deliver a parcel to my neighbour's house every week for two months, but my neighbour moved out to live with family just before lockdown. The courier finally decided to leave the parcel with someone else rather than taking it back to the depot again, and waited long enough for me to answer the door, and I discovered that the parcel was not addressed to my neighbour after all that I was able to give directions to the other person's address, so I am hopeful the parcel was delivered today, but it is most strange in this day and age of satnav that the courier didn't think to use the postcode...

It was hot and humid this afternoon, but a thick grey cloud has just arrived, so I think there will be more rain shortly...

I wouldn't've thought the powercut was caused by storms - if a powerline comes down it affects a wider area whereas it was just our road and they fixed it by digging a hole in the ground, and it didn't happen on a stormy day. It has been very wet today, mind.

I meant to mention that as well as Sir Paul, they played the performance of Queen + Adam Doin' the Lambert Walk, Oi! from when they headlined four years ago.

Today I bought a new, bigger pencil case - it is see-through to make it nice and easy to spot the pencil colour I want to find. I've been wanting one for ages. You can tell there's not much news...

I hope whoever has been awaiting their parcel is delighted to finally receive it - hopefully it wasn't something with a best-before date... I wonder if it was tracked delivery with the person trying to work out where it had got to and being told 'we tried to deliver but you were out' and them thinking, I've been stuck indoors in lockdown since March, what do you mean 'out', eh?

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Glad the hole-digging remedied the situation

"I meant to mention that as well as Sir Paul, they played the performance of Queen + Adam Doin' the Lambert Walk, Oi!" - I haven't seen very much of Queen + Adam, but from what I have seen he is much more suited to working with Brian and Roger than Paul Rodgers was - reminds me of George Michael

Well done for finding an excellent pencil case I have been seeing your cartoon thriller series on - intriguing...

"I wonder if it was tracked delivery with the person trying to work out where it had got to and being told 'we tried to deliver but you were out' and them thinking, I've been stuck indoors in lockdown since March, what do you mean 'out', eh? "

I reckon that's exactly what happened...

Yes, very wet yesterday, and today is dull but dry so far. I hope you have a good day today, and I hope you all have a great weekend I shall endeavour to see more bird species

I fancied starting something a bit different and trying to develop different characters.

It was dull this morning but getting brighter now - lots of shining white clouds. I hope you enjoy the weekend - no plans here today, just seeing what if anything happens...

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So who do you think is the heir, and why?

I meant to say that I went into the town centre on Friday after work and though the charity shops are still closed, the Cex shop was open. They had a copy of 'Kes' there for £2:50 - did you have an illustration in mind for your Flea Market Rescue?

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Very cleverly done that both Anne and Aggie have traits of Eve and the father I lean towards Anne being the heir, as the one the father would admire the most, although I can imagine he would have got on well with Aggie if he had known her.

Well spotted to find Kes in CEx. I have sent a photo of a kestrel to the artists but a photo of the DVD is always good for a film Entry, if you happen to have one - no problem if not.

I went to the coast at the weekend, but it was busy again so there weren’t many birds. I did see some kites of the non-avian variety, though, as it was rather windy Glad you had chance to draw more cartoons, and I hope you all got out and about a bit, too.

We had a power cut again today, but this one was only for 5 seconds, which was weird. I hope your power is reliable again now.

The story is of course a vague attempt to create slightly more rounded characters and do a small degree of characterisation. No idea where it is going, it is a 'create characters and see what they get up to' project. To paraphrase what George RR Martin said, there's two types of writing, architecture and gardening. Tolkien is the classic architect who planned everything in meticulous detail like an architect building a house, while when gardening you plant a seed and see what grows. Keeps it interesting and full of surprises.

I did briefly wonder whether we could photoshop the image of a kestrel to make it look like it was carrying a copy of 'Kes' in its talons just like an African swallow carries a coconut when conducting airspeed velocity trials, but that sounds like a lot of work and I can't be bothered. It saves me £2:50. I had to read the book at school and saw it on the old television sets on wheels that they trollied around, although how they got it to the 4th floor is beyond me.

We have some kite kites nearby, kites designed to look like kites and prevent birds from settling in the area.

I've been fortunate to have the power of Greyskull this week free from cut-outs, sorry to hear you've been blipping.

Is it too early to think about the weekend ahead? On Saturday we saw Southsea.

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