h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like your optimism, Mac.

Unless, of course, you're referring to February 2023.

Of course Jack.

We will be in League 2 by then.

Ancelotti is available.

If Everton get him while we end up with an unproven manager it really will be the end of the world.

Looks like that is exactly what will happen, Jack.



Election tomorrow. Let's see how we can screw this one up.

We were rubbish again tonight, Mac.

Got away with a 2-2 draw but we were awful for long periods. Failing to close down the opposition. Not putting in the hard yards.

It was obvious that Emery needed to be replaced. It's equally obvious that Ljungberg needs to go. He has made no impact since his appointment.

Ancelotti is available. And the club seems to be sitting on its hands.

What could be worse? Oh yeah. That election of yours. I have a bad feeling....

Everything is going according to plan for the board.

Treating the process like it is the Apprentice.

Got first by Frankfurt shooting themselves in the foot late on. Thought for sure we would end up with Inter or Ajax.

And the election, how can we scew it up? The biggest way possible of course.

I think the United Kingdom is in a worse state than Arsenal, to be honest.

Arsenal are at least mid-table and looking like they might avoid relegation. But the UK is definitely getting relegated from Europe's Premier league. Probably to Europe's Sherpa Vans Non League Division 8 or something.

Jack relegated to some partnership with a boorish Yank.

It's not even surprising any more, Mac.

And still the board just sits on its hands and does nothing, leaving Freddie Ljungberg in charge when it's quite clear he isn't capable of being a manager. In fact, on the rare occasions they bother thinking about appointing a manager they seem to focus on guys like Arteta and Vieira, one of whom has never picked a team in his life and the other who has had a short and unremarkable career as a manager.

They are destroying the club.

So Everton are going to hire Ancelotti while we are apparently going to end up with Arteta, a man who has never picked a team in his life.

This is surely some kind of pisstake.

He knows how to place those cones though Jack.

I am dissapointed I haven't waltzed in to the managing director's role at work this morning.

I fully understand, Mac. I am wholly astonished that the board of a rival company haven't called around to my house in the middle of the night to offer me their CEO post.

They just don't see the potential Jack.

Will happen tomorrow for Arteta it looks like.

I'm going to bet everything I have (the house, the daughters, the car, the dog, the trivial amount of money in my bank account) on Everton finishing ahead of Arsenal this season.

This is what we've come to.

It has come to predicting Nevrton will dk better than us.

Also, we still haven't made contact with Citeh apparently.

We are going to spend a 7 figure sum to get a man who has never managed a team while Everton will pay nothing at all for one of the most successful managers in the world.

I don't know what the powers that be at Arsenal are smoking but it's not a logic-enhancing substance.

We are in the bottom half now Jack.

Jack, who would have thought that snooze fest masquerading as a match on Saturday would see us gain a point on Man Utd and Tottenham?

True Mac. How inept must Spurs and Man U be not to be a thousand points clear of us at this stage?

At least we got a point against Watford.

How terrible was that game at Everton though? It gave nil-nil draws a bad name. Bad enough having a hopelessly inexperienced manager but it's much worse to bring him in when there's a massive job required just to make us semi-respectable again.