h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jack it was very kind of Tottenham and Man Utd to ensure we remain above them when we had a fixture to bring a sure fire defeat.

Unfortunately Mac, the Gods have clearly decided that they're going to look after Spurs this season. After all, look at that ridiculous draw they somehow got against Man City in spite of being humiliated for ninety minutes.

So we can safely conclude that the Gods will not let them lose two matches in a row.

Which means we are screwed this weekend.

How the hell did we not score at least 15 goals in that second half?

I am not sure Jack but I think 15 goals might be what we need to be assured of victory.

Xhaka... What can you say?

Mac, I haven't seen the official statistics but I'm pretty sure that Xhaka concedes a penalty every 6.73 seconds or thereabouts.

He tackled tbe opposition player on Sunday several seconds after the ball dribbled away for Torreira to clear.

In fact in between Spurs loding possession and Xhaka committing the foul I'm fairly certain that I boiled the kettle and had a cup of tea.

Clown.

I think this is just the wrong sport for him. He'd be much more at home in wrestling.



Mkhitaryan is out on loan. Slowly getting rid of the dross, will Xhaka or Mustafi follow?

I suspect the whole Brexit farce will be settled to everyone's satisfaction before we get rid of Mustafi.

Jack, Johnson as a 0% record on bills voted for. Sam Allarydce would have won one then resigned.

His own brother has left his government and basically confirmed that it's because Johnson is about to destroy the entire country.

That's as low as it can get, surely.

Or maybe not. Look at Johnson's 'achievements' as Prime Minister:

Undermined the constitution. Threatened to break the law. Lost every vote so far. Split the party. Sacked loads of Conservatives for doing exactly what he did himself last year. Made people pine for the relative sanity of the Theresa May era. Claimed that negotiations with the EU are going well even though they're not actually taken place.

Impressive stuff if you're actually trying to wreck the country.

Jack, you would think that's a record you would amass over five years, not five weeks.



Also Watford will have new manager bounce.

True Mac.

That change of manager sneaked in under the radar somewhat. And they've done it just in time to guarantee beating us.

I think the sight of Deeney sticking it to us is enough for me to want the season to end.

Lacazette injured.

Wonderful.

That pretty much confirms we're getting stuffed this weekend.

And probably several weekends afterwards too.

Jack the way we get back in to the game against the Spuds is the same way we go down to Watford.

We were battered in that second half.

Ridiculous, Mac.

I don't know what Emery is playing at but this insistence of passing the ball out of defence at all times, regardless of the peril involved has to stop. Sokratis is a decent defender but the manager's instructions to keep playing short passes out of defence is driving him to distraction. Luiz works well in a back three but is prone to mistakes in a back four. So why is Emery playing a back four? The manager's tactics and formation is making our defence look worse than it is.

Two nil up at half time against the worst team in the league and we ended up lucky to get a draw. Emery needs to sort this out sharpish.

Agreed Jack, it's not looking good for him. The worm has turned in terms of the opinion on him.

Making daft decisions when the obvious would be simpler.
Never makes a good idea.

If the pass isn't obvious or on, should just be launching it or at least playing it out wide to limit the damage.

Clubs who are rubbing their hands with glee over the next twelve days thanks to Emery's bizarre tactics:

1. Eintracht Frankfurt
2. Aston Villa
3. Nottingham Forest
4. Manchester United.

Jack, that looks like all the teams we face next.



Also, it seems the Spuds want to be the North London team that throws away the most 0-2 leads.

So the Luiz/Mustafi partnership is getting a run.

That's me hiding behind the sofa, then.

Actually , scratch that. That's me going for a long walk.

Perhaps never to return.

A win and a clean sheet.

The Gods won't like that, Mac.

We're really doomed for the weekend now.