Bad contact lens day.
Posted May 25, 1999
As if it wasn't bad enough that every day is a bad hair day, today I'm having a bad contact lens day too. You know those days when one of your contact lenses refuses to co-operate with your eye, and attaches itself to your upper eyelid every time you blink, so that when you open your eye again the lens is in completely the wrong place, and you can't see anything until it slides down into position again, and then it makes your nose run? Well, one of those. So now I have to keep blinking furiously to try to restore some discipline, and everyone thinks I've developed some kind of nervous twitch. However, on the positive side......................................................... sorry, I can't think of anything.
"Information Technology", they said.
Posted May 24, 1999
Unfortunately, I am contractually obliged not to badmouth my current employers, so all I can tell you is that "A certain major IT firm" has decided to give all its employees a shiny new e-mail system.
Which is nice. Except that, for reasons which are unlikely to become clear, my password doesn't work. Undaunted, said major IT firm has now seen fit to decommission the old e-mail system, leaving me stranded in some kind of e-mail free zone, with no means of contacting any of my colleagues. (This is not necessarily a bad thing.)
"So use the phone," you say, with a dismissive wave of the hand. Ah, if only it were that simple. The now defunct e-mail system also included the online telephone directory, which is now part of the new system. As a result, I now either have to talk to people face to face (oooh dear), send them a paper memo in the internal mail (see you in three weeks' time), or just ignore them altogether. Somehow, the latter option seems the most appealing.
However, all is not lost. Before the old system was removed, I sent an e-mail to all my colleagues, informing them that I would only be accepting messages scratched with sticks into tablets of soft mud or clay, and left to dry in the sun. That's progress for you.