This is the Message Centre for Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.)
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 5, 2002
Hmmmm.... a bit shaky. 
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Abi Posted Nov 6, 2002
What type of explanation is that? Oh EV stop taunting us!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 6, 2002
I'm not taunting anyone! It's dangerous work, this tree-nudging.
Anyway, if things work out as planned, I'll be able to do some more shaking on Friday evening. 
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 9, 2002
*EV takes an enormous run up and runs full pelt at the tree, aiming to shake it quite violently. As he passes the point of no return, he notices that the tree has gone again. He falls flat on his face.*
Hello. 
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Abi Posted Nov 9, 2002
Oh no! Where has it gone? Will it be coming back?
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 9, 2002
I don't know. 
It was there on Thursday, and gave no indication that it wouldn't be there on Friday. I wish it didn't keep disappearing like that, it's most unsettling.
Could you help me up, please? 
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) Posted Nov 9, 2002
*Offers sturdy hand*
Definitely need to uproot my tree - want to plant a new one in the same spot tomorrow. Any idea what the best tool is? Or is it possible just to convince myself it's not there anymore?
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
IanG Posted Nov 9, 2002
Do you want the current tree to remain on talking terms? If not text messaging is a great way of getting rid of dead wood!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 9, 2002
*sniggers at Zeb's use of the word "tool"*
You could just be really unpleasant towards the tree until it uproots itself of its own accord. 
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
IanG Posted Nov 9, 2002
Or get caught pruning its mother!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 9, 2002
Steady on. 
Have you explained to the tree that it's not her, it's you? I believe that's a standard horticultural technique.
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
IanG Posted Nov 10, 2002
Thats not what Bob Flowerdew said on Gardeners Questiontime last week!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) Posted Nov 15, 2002
Well, I've been bracing myself for the "I'm really sorry, but there's this other tree in someone else's garden that I just can't stop thinking about. I have great fun when I'm polishing your bark but when we're apart my mind drifts back to that other foliage and it's just not fair on you....." speech. But I've stopped calling and I think she's got the message. But I did explain to her that I'm movnng house and don't really have time for anyhting else - so she'll probably call tomorrow. Arrgh!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 16, 2002
*rummages in his CD collection and finds "The Trees" by Pulp*
I have it on good authority that a crack team of tree surgeons will be restoring my tree to its rightful place sometime soon.
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Abi Posted Nov 18, 2002
Are you moving Zeb?
EV I hope they are the best surgeons money can get!
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 18, 2002
Yes, the tree is now back to full strength and returned to its regular spot. Unfortunately, I've lost all the momentum I was building up. I'll have to take another run at it.
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 22, 2002
Er.... apparently it's not a fruit-bearing tree. Or at least, not the right kind of fruit. If you get my meaning.
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Researcher 174318-Zhora- all the nice girls like a sailor Posted Nov 29, 2002
Oh Dear...
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) Posted Nov 29, 2002
The tree, erm......... well..... likes to be planted near trees of its own type. As it were.
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) Posted Dec 1, 2002
Mind you, it can be a lot of fun planting yourself in between them. It helps to tempt them to the edge of the orchard though....
Key: Complain about this post
"If you want the fruit to fall, you have to give the tree a shake."
- 41: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 5, 2002)
- 42: Abi (Nov 6, 2002)
- 43: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 6, 2002)
- 44: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 9, 2002)
- 45: Abi (Nov 9, 2002)
- 46: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 9, 2002)
- 47: Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) (Nov 9, 2002)
- 48: IanG (Nov 9, 2002)
- 49: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 9, 2002)
- 50: IanG (Nov 9, 2002)
- 51: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 9, 2002)
- 52: IanG (Nov 10, 2002)
- 53: Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) (Nov 15, 2002)
- 54: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 16, 2002)
- 55: Abi (Nov 18, 2002)
- 56: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 18, 2002)
- 57: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 22, 2002)
- 58: Researcher 174318-Zhora- all the nice girls like a sailor (Nov 29, 2002)
- 59: Dr E Vibenstein (You know it is, it really is.) (Nov 29, 2002)
- 60: Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years) (Dec 1, 2002)
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