Journal Entries

99071.0

 God I love Saturdays.
Things to do when ruler of the universe:
1: Slowly torture Vengaboys.
2: Methodically kick S Club 7 until they agree to grow up. Unfortunate as the women are so gorgeous, but do they have to sing like they're four? Also I think they should be separated into two groups seven is just silly.
3: Make The Crow by J O'barr essential reading for arts and english students, make the movie essential viewing and buy rights to The Crow:Stairway to Heaven so that we get some really viscious bad guys in it.
4: Give Mark Dacascos the "Coolest actor ever" award.
5: Set fire to anyone who's entire contribution to the music world is a series of beeps, a repeated five note melody and an ugly woman going "oh yeah" repeatedly.
6: Have Terry Pratchett, Dan Simmons, Rob Grant, Doug Naylor and Doug Adams all knighted and granted vast areas of Britain.

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Latest reply: Jul 10, 1999

99052.8

 This is typed using my new natural keyboard, one of the weirdest things under the sun, so I apologise profusely for spelling mistakes.
Today was my last day of College. No more obligatory lessons. No more assemblies, no more of Helen, that cute girl in the year below.
Ahem. This er, one of those, um, embarrassing things where uyou could paint yourself blue and still not be noticed. Um.
Really I should be revising, but instead I'm adding to the great and wonderful guide.
Well Hi to Mum, Dad, the Munchkin, Len and Dominic. Cheers an' all that to our history teacher. Great bloke: handed out a bottle of lambrusco. Also thanks to everyone at College who put up with me. Jemma, Chris, Rhonda, Kellie, Rachel, Ros, the other three Chrises, Tim, Ant, Matt both of you, Brandy, an' everyone else, cheers!

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Latest reply: May 28, 1999

990503

 Len, or Frintle, such a wonderfully obtuse name, Frintle, has recommended I become a researcher for the guide. And here I am.
Okay.
Now what.
Ah yes! I write something.
Well it's a Hitch hiker's guide so I may as well write something.
Have a look under references to: Fakenham, Norfolk, Little Snoring and Drinking large amounts of something called Guiness.
Alternatively just look up under "Things to avoid".
See ya! Spike.

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Latest reply: May 3, 1999


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