Charles Swinford

Researcher 32948, known to some as "Spoo Monkey" = Earthling. Human. Male. Tall-ish. American. Art student at James Madison University. A bit of a jackass. Likes mittens. Can't write worth a damn, but for some reason has been permitted to write for The Guide. One day, it will all come crashing down around him, mark my words...

There is so much more that I could say, but it all seems a bit self-indulgent. I think that rather than write pages and pages about myself, I'd prefer to show you what I'm all about. I'll provide a few things that you might find interesting, and leave it at that.

Things I'm Proud Of

This thing is pretty cool, if it works. I just learned how to do it.

Pick yer destinationSoutheast US Researchers' Group - Mark IIAmerican and Indian CaféFinals WeekBeer PongJames Madison UniversitySwinford, IrelandClassic Goo Fan Clubh2g2 Natural History Museumh2g2 TeamThe code for this list

So far I've only gotten two entries edited and approved for The Guide. I just finished an entry concerning Finals Week and the average college student. I'd been writing it off and on (mostly off) for a long while, so I figured I should either finish it or delete it. I opted to finish. Check it out, since it just got approved.

The other entry, my first, is about a restaraunt in the town my school is located in. It's called the American and Indian Café (or Indian and American, depending on which sign you read), and it's definetly worth going to if you plan on being stuck in Harrisonburg for a while.

I am currently at JMU working on my Bachelor's in Fine Arts (BFA). Why, you ask? Perhaps it's because I have this undeniable need to be unemployable when I graduate, as my Computer Science major friends would suggest. Truthfully, I study art because I'm an artist. There really isn't anything else for me to do. Sure, I'm good at many things, but at my core there's nothing I love more than creating something new, be it a painting, drawing, or whatever. It's in my blood.

I am a silly twonk.

My Mystery Science Theater 3000 Info Club membership number is 24363, and I can recite that number without having to pull the card out of my wallet. Please note that it is a 5-digit number: one of the early ones1. I really loved MST3k, and miss it dearly. Especially seasons 2-4.

Unfortunately, I also seem to have one of the lower still-active H2G2 Researcher numbers (32948)! Come on, people! We know you're out there!

I think the BBC's policy of editing barely offensive words like "w****r" and "b*****d" out of The Guide is a bit childish and the result of somebody's Lowered Expectations™ of the maturity level of us reasearchers.

I am full of Random Useless Facts™.

I co-founded a secret society called TROS. Well, actually, it isn't all that secret. I mean, I just told you, didn't I? The group is dedicated to fun and general silliness. It's worth checking out. IF the website is up, that is. And don't even bother hoping for updates...

Worthwile H2G2 Entries

I've found the Southeast US Researchers' Group to be particularly interesting. But, then, I would, what with being a Southerner and all. Unfortunately, the group's original site seems to have gone inactive (like poor Dr. Erhart, Curator Chick has gone missing). Thank goodness for the Southeast US Researchers' Group - Mark II, or we'd all be homeless.

The Classic Goo Fan Club is super-cool. If you don't know what Classic Goo is, then you most definetly need to click here.

I was recently pointed to the H2G2 Natural History Museum. If you're an animal (like me) or plant (not like me), then go check it out. It's part of The Guide's Library and Museum.

Since I'm an artist, I found the entry On Being an Artist's Model to be rather pertinent to my chosen career path.

I'll add more guide entries here as I stumble accross them.
1Yes, I'm a dweeb. Hush.


Title Status



This user has no Entry subscriptions

Spoo Monkey

Researcher U32948


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of Not Panicking Ltd. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more


Spoo Monkey has no Friends

See all Friends


Spoo Monkey has no Followers

See all Followers


This user has no Bookmarks

See all Bookmarks