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Geezers Converation

Post 7001

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

A 76-year-old man Yorkshireman is having a drink in a pub. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices his staring, and approaches him, before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like" Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game, all I want is £100 but! there's one condition.
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is ?
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words"

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He then whips out his wallet and puts ten - £10 notes in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."



(Our needs change as we get older)smiley - winkeye


Geezers Converation

Post 7002

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

You mean you haven't heard of self-mowing lawns?


Geezers Converation

Post 7003

ITIWBS

Dichondra lawns can be inflated with water underneath to create a natural waterbed, besides needing no mowing.


Geezers Converation

Post 7004

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Do the killer slugs from Spain like Dichondra?

smiley - pirate


Geezers Converation

Post 7005

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Si!


Geezers Converation

Post 7006

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

In that case I'll keep the grass until I have eradicated the slugs. I haven't given up yet!

smiley - pirate


Geezers Converation

Post 7007

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I didn't know you had the slugs. Do they understand English? smiley - bigeyes


Geezers Converation

Post 7008

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

There was a girl (we won't mention her hair colour) who knocked at a man's door.
'I need some money, and I will be happy to do anything you want' smiley - biggrin

'I need my porch painted, you will find the paint, brushes and everything else you need in the garage.'

After a few hours she returned to his door saying 'All finished - 3 coats, but it wasn't a Porsche - it was a Mercedes.'

F smiley - dolphin S


Geezers Converation

Post 7009

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

smiley - laugh

I can't even imagine what color the car ended up with.

smiley - rofl


Geezers Converation

Post 7010

Jackruss a Grand Master of Tea and Toast, Keeper of the comfy chair, who is spending a year dead for tax reasons! DNA!




The weather nice and warm, the dog's are happy (the missus is not and I don't know why, who cares smiley - smiley) so I'm going in the garden later, and having a snooze till lunch time, then the pub, then another snooze till tea time then back down the pub smiley - biggrin


Geezers Converation

Post 7011

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~



URGENT!
A little help, please?
One of my good friends has bought a Champions League ticket for the final in Kiev on Saturday. But as it turns out it's the day of his wedding!
He bought the tickets six months ago - before the exact date of the wedding was fixed.
I promised to help, so here's the question:
Is there a man among my friends who would like to get married on Saturday?

smiley - pirate


Geezers Converation

Post 7012

Jackruss a Grand Master of Tea and Toast, Keeper of the comfy chair, who is spending a year dead for tax reasons! DNA!



No! I'm washing my hair


Geezers Converation

Post 7013

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Not this Saturday. I'm going to have a headache. smiley - smiley

Would you like to get married, Pierce? I know finding a bride on such short notice is hard, but.....


Geezers Converation

Post 7014

Baron Grim

Would it get me Danish citizenship?


Geezers Converation

Post 7015

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

Or Danish ham?

Or a cherry Danish?


Geezers Converation

Post 7016

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~



I can't promise anything

That is to say, I can, but there are no guarantees

smiley - pirate


Geezers Converation

Post 7017

paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant

I can promise you a rose garden, but that's about it. smiley - smiley


Geezers Converation

Post 7018

Jackruss a Grand Master of Tea and Toast, Keeper of the comfy chair, who is spending a year dead for tax reasons! DNA!



My onion sets are really doing well smiley - bubbly


Geezers Converation

Post 7019

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

[grump]

As are my chilis smiley - dragon

smiley - pirate


Geezers Converation

Post 7020

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

I had a chess set smiley - ermsmiley - erm


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