h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I once worked in an office where people with dubious hold on the world used to phone occasionally. I had one person who had something very loud playing in the background and I asked if he could turn it down so I could hear him better. He roared at me down the phone that it was the Rosary being sung by some holy people and accused me of being a pagan.

Weird.
I think I'd prefer that people talk to loud than too quietly. At work there was a message on the answering machine and I could barely make it out.... It sounded like the person who'd left it was whispering.
The only person I know who shouts into a phone is my Mum, and she only does that on cell phones.

Dom Joly does a bit of shouting on mobile phones.

My dad was telling me of a client he had with him once and they had to make a phone call to his bank. The bloke held the receiver at 90 degrees to his head so he was hardly picked up when he spoke. Dunno what the bloke on the other end was thinking coz he could hardly hear what was being said.

People are funny that way. My Mum does that as well. It's rather comical to watch her. Although I think in her case it's not just a desire to speak closer to the mike... she says that any time spent on a cell phone makes her head feel fuzzy. She thinks the radiation is getting into her brain and giving her cancer or Alzheimer's or something.

Quite some time ago I came across an old lady who was stranded so I asked her for the number of a member of her family who could help. She told me and I dialled the number and lent her my mobile phone. She stood with it in front of her mouth like a microphone and bellowed into it saying things like "I'm outside the church, over!" She couldn't hear what they were saying as she had the phone nowhere near her head.
I really had a difficult time not laughing out loud.

Oh dear!!!

My aunt always points her mobile away from people when she's sending a text. She says it's so she's not zapping us. How insane is that?!?!?! I've tried telling her it's not a ray gun, but it won't register. The fact that all the phone networks, tv and radio stations, UV rays, etc are all bouncing round the room and hitting us doesn't seem to matter, but it'll be ok coz she won't zap us with her phone signal.

Two birds on a telegraph wire, First bird to second, "Don't the long words make your feet tickle!"

Both stories are very funny. And I liked the joke. People can be so funny about technology. I'm sure there a lot of funny stories to be had.

Yeah people are weird. The number of people who think that your mobile is microwaving your brain. Granted we don't know if something's gonna develop in 40 years time in people who use them a lot, but still.....

Apparently while using a mobile phone the radiation it emits gently warms your brain and causes a temporary rise in intelligence....not a bad thing in todays society. In fact I think large swathes of the population should be forced to go about with mobiles permanently attached and switched on. Also if it turns out that it is harmful in the long term we'll find out earlier than we would otherwise and without losing a valuable part of society.

Ooooo you're evil.

Though people in general do seem a bit dumb at times. Have to fix that.

*Straps mobile phone to head with duct tape*
Do I look more intelligent yet?

Do you really want me to answer that??

Definitely Vestie! You'll start a trend... Soon it'll be all the rage!!

I wonder if it really does improve intelligence. If it does damage your brain somehow in the long run we'll be in big trouble. Practically everyone uses a cell phone, and many people use them a lot!

Maybe that's a sign of the damage. The first thing to go is a sense of decorum. "I SAID I'M ON THE BUS. YES THE BUS. I'M ON MY WAY HOME. YES, THE BUS. WHAT'S FOR DINNER? EH? WHAT?! OH, CHICKEN, I THOUGHT YOU SAID DOG BISCUITS, FOR A MINUTE..."

Hate it when people insist on yelling into a phone. Especially when there's no need. take it outside *before* making/answering the call.

I agree. If they're going to be loud it would be nice if they at least went a little ways away.

I don't know though, I'm starting to wish people would shout into the phone when talking to me at work. I don't know what's wrong with it but between the lack of volume and the noisy children I can hardly hear a word said to me!! And it gets embarrassing to constantly ask people to repeat things!

Maybe the volume control on your phone needs tweaked? Sometimes it can get knocked and goes quiet.

Don't understand why people answer their phone when they're inside a noisy party/club or whatever. What's that gonna achieve??