h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I prefer the term "normallity impaired".

I've re-affirmed my strangeness tonight.

Been sat on the settee, big duvet round me, torn up tissues covering the entire carpet. I've taken up a form of sign language too. I've been asked what's wrong with me so many times that all I can do is point to throat, nose and head.

When pointing to my head, four out of five cats said "No brain?"

This post has been removed.

It's blocked on my system.

Footbacon, you're poorly! Get well soon. Perhaps we could help you sign your way out of confusion.

"What's the matter with you?"

*Holds up 4 fingers,
Holds up 1 finger,
Taps finger on forearm,
Pulls earlobe
Does extravagant and funny mime to show something that rhymes with mind.
Awaits guesses until someone says "Mind!"
Smiles and touches nose

Holds up two fingers (which may have shortened the whole of this mime if the person had asked you to "Do the whole thing")
Taps finger on forearm,
Pulls earlobe
Does extravagant and funny mime to show something that rhymes with your.
Awaits guesses until someone says "Your!"
Smiles and touches nose

Holds up three fingers
Taps finger on forearm,
Pulls earlobe
Does extravagant and funny mime to show something that rhymes with own.
Awaits guesses until someone says "Own!"
Smiles and touches nose

Holds up four fingers
Taps 3 fingers on forearm,
Pulls earlobe
Does extravagant and funny mime to show something that rhymes with business.
Awaits guesses until someone says "Business!"
Smiles and touches nose

Then the crowd all cry out in unison "Mind your own business!"
and go away.

I got a big metal shiney brushed alaminium thing in the post today it doesn't take much to make me happy there were two weidos in the street earlier today, then I came inside and there was only one

I'm still trying to think of something that sounds like "business" and what kind of extravagant mime goes with it.

Can I not just carry a notepad and pen around with me?

I'm getting used to the drugs, they don't seem to be working as well as they were yesterday. The woozy feeling I've had since I first started taking them all is beginning to make me feel sick too.


The drugs don't work,
They just make you worse

Even though I firmly believe I'm tone deaf, I'll sing in your ear if it'll help

Oh and the only thing I can think of at the moment that rhymes with business is Christmas.

I don't think it'll help Keep going ever so slightly deaf, then have a five minute ear popping session

Want to borrow this sink plunger for your ears?

If not a plunger, you could always try ear candles.

Yes.... setting one's head on fire often makes a cold feel insignificant.

Cutting your head off often helps or so I've heard Well, my mate, Steve (headless) Blogs always sewears by it

did you mean sewers?




*Learned a new smiley today*

I love it when that happens

Illness report? Marks out of ten?

I'm feeling loads better today I haven't touched a tissue in at least 9 hours

But I'm still taking the drugs

"Happy, happy! Joy, joy!"

Yay!

Thought you said the drugs didn't work - that they just made things worse - where's that stifled miaowing coming from? *sploosh* Oh, all right, it's stopped now

Drugs + cold = woozy, sniffling, drugged up fool.

Drugs + almost normal health = woozy, drugged up, happy fool.