This is the Message Centre for Moving On
Moving On Started conversation Apr 29, 2010
It's been a hectic few weeks, and frustrating in some ways, too - civilisation obviously begins with the abilty to contact others, and without my landline
(I don't care what *anyone* says, mobiles are the rather expensive work of the and don't count as communication tools)
I felt like I'd had an arm amputated.
Finally, after an awful lot of palava, tantrums and a complaint to Off Com, my landline and broadband provider took the hint and I'm back in the land of the sort of civilised.
So here I am, just under 2 months in my new home... I have carpets,decent decoration, at least half a set of wall unit built onto the Big Wall in the living room - that, apparntly will be finished this weekend -and above all....PLANTS
- Most of the seeds I set have burgeoned, and the flower beds are already overflowing with colour. It really is glorious to have a garden again.
And the local stray - dubbed Scab, because it really does have very little to reccomend it as a loving, soft, purry furry cute kind of a cat - has spotted a new mug at 100 paces, and allows me to feed him twice a day, whereafter he occasionally deigns to shed fur and small parasitic friends on his own royal purple velvet cushion in my living room.
But only when he feels like it, of course.
Which brings me onto today; tomorrow my first chick flies the nest.
He's off to Australlia tomorrow on the noon flight, for at least 2 years. And if I know my son, I reckon he'll want to stay a lot longer than that. It 's been good for all of us as a familly, that I left the lads to take over the tenancy of the old flat -with the landlady's blessing, of course - a little while before Eldest leaves the country.
It's given them the space to learn, without me quietly smirking and saying "Yep - *TISN'T so easy to run and houseand find cash to pay for everything and juggle it and still have a life, is it?"
And I'm impressed with how they've managed - I know I needn't worry about Youngest being a good tenant; If it wasn't for the fact that I have custody of the washing machine I do sometimes wonder if he'd visit me as much as he has done!
Naw... I do the lad a disservice, actually. Both he and his brother have been an enormous help and support to me, doing all the heavy, lumpy jobs I really can't do during the first few weeks of moving into the new place.
This last week with Eldest here in Britain is bitter sweet; I'd be a liar if I said I don't worry about him - but I know from experience you can worry oneself sick and it doesn't help the person you're worrying about one jot or tittle, so it's a waste of mental energy, so I do my best not to worry. He's young, he's canny, he's resiliant, he's smart and he's had a good upbringing by a stubborn, bloodiminded survivor. He's got a friend who'll put him up when he gets to Perth, and a job lined up. I *have to believe he'll be alright.
But today's his last day in the country and I can't help feeling sad. I want to hold that great hulking lad in my arms and never let him go.
His brother has - on his own suggestion, bought him a St Christopher medal from both of us to give to him after we've all had supper at mine, together. That streak of mysticism - he's not a religious lad - and sentimentalism from Youngest rather surprised me. I'd thought of it myself, but dismissed it on the grounds that it's an extravigantly soppy gesture, and he'd be better off with an extra wedge of cash to go away with.
But hard boiled youngest rang up and suggested it yesterday and... yes; it's one of those things I want to do, too. I want Eldest to have and hold something tangiable to remind him that we're only a phone call or email away. That we love him.
I tend to do "practical" you see. I tend not to *do soppy any more.
But hey, if you can't do extravagent and sentimental occasionally there's probably something psycologically wanting within you.
In a couple of hours time they'll both turn up to mine,and I'm serving up shepherds pie; that's what Eldest wants, because I make the best shepherds pie in the world, apparently. I shall crack open a couple of bottles of wine that a friend brought me back from France the other day so it's a bit festive.
I shall eat sparingly, because I know, no matter *how good a shepherds pie I make it's going to taste like ashes this evening, and I shall drink very little because I don't want to cry and make what should be a happy occasion sad.
And once I've said a brave and cheerful goodbye to my eldest lad, and seen them out of the gate, and listened to their foot steps going to the bus stop...when they're out of ear shot and eye shot, then... I shall probably cry a river. And finish off the wine.
I've always said my children were on loan to me - as a parent, I was their guide, and their mentor - I taught them all I could, offered them whatever of my life expeirences that were relevant, and hardest of all, I stood back, when the times were right and let them make their own mistakes when I *could have molly coddled them. You spend around 18 or 20 years teaching them to stand on their own 2 feet, to be self reliant, self sufficient, compassionate.
And then you stand back and let them fly.
They know they can always fly back to me, out of choice and not necessity after all. Whenever they want.
2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side... Posted Apr 29, 2010
lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned Posted Apr 29, 2010
What a wonderful mother you are. Giving your blessing couldn't have been easy, but you have made the decision a bit easier for him.
He knows you will always be there for him... and two years isn't really that long
Websailor Posted Apr 29, 2010
I agree with the above, you are a crackin' Mum and they are lucky to have you, and they obviously know that.
I am sure he will love Australia, and may choose to stay longer, but I bet he will be nipping back for that Shepherds Pie every now and then. That is the ultimate in comfort food for me too
Please wish him him Bon Voyage, and if he ever gets stuck I have a couple of friends out there, and there are some on here who would welcome a strapping lad for a while I am sure.
Have a lovely, very special evening, and give a big to youngest who will probably miss him as much or more than you will.
I can't imagine how I would feel if either of mine swanned off - yes, I can, but I will keep it to myself
Might be online later if you can seen the monitor
Moving On Posted Apr 29, 2010
Thanks, ladies...oh, and Leglets, too... although I don't suppose you'd mind being in the elite club of "Ladydom" for the purposes of this post, would you?
The lads have just gone - and it was a nce supper. Youngest and I gave him the medallian and he was more than a bit pleased. Quietly choked I'd say.
And I've got some smashing photoes of us all - infact I tried getting them onto e mails for y'all, but I'm all to pieces atm and have forgotten (a) how to do it, and (b) how to move photoes into all the one place in order to find them
As soon as I can think straight and be a bit less scatty I'll get them over to you. Or put em on Facebook. Or something.
And as for me, and "I don't *do soppy"..... I was really good; I didn't cry or anything. We blagged each other and squabbled and generally were normally... normal.
But I handed him a little sprig of a little blue flower when he left, and told him they were called Forget-me-nots.
And I'll stop the pathos right there. He'll be absolutely fine.
Thanks for the offer of "People I know" btw, Webbie - all contacts gratefully received. And of course, I forgot; theres the H2 community "out there" as well, isn;t there?
I've started to do a few hours voluntary work at the local RSPCA shop, and I've arranged to go in early tomorrow and stay there for as long as I can, to keep me occupied. Saturday will be taken up with getting the last of the Unit fitted...and there's a fillum on at the local Uni I want to see that evening, so I'm taking myself to see it. Distraction Therapy is very important.
(Youngest and I went to see Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll last week, and it was absolutely brilliant; Andy Serkis was as near to Ian Dury as you could portray)
Sunday and Monday can take care of themselves - hopefully by Sunday I'll have heard from Eldest, letting me know he's arrived, he hasn't offended anyone so far, or mugged a koala or anything anti social, and that all is well with him.
In the meantime, there's half a bottle of fairly respectable French wine sitting there not doing very much and I appear to have a severe case of foggy spectacles.....
Sweet dreams all
Websailor Posted Apr 29, 2010
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