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johnredbear Started conversation May 20, 2009
I have been up and down many days I have no real strength to sit up and type very long. To read makes me weary also so I have been very spotty (?)in speaking andf hearing these pages. I am with interest following your posts. I feel you are doing well in your outlook. Maybe I am wrong. I hope you are doing well.
I had an emergency surgery to relieve pressure in my brain. For very long it was thought I ghad been with early alzimers. It was not so as tests later showed. The pressure has made effect on much of my person. It cannot be removed all together but was releived andf I will hope to stay better.
The brain is very fragile I am told. and no one really knows enough to say they know. I am finding that some days I am better to communicarte than others. I am not changing in my personality I am told so I am grateful. I am not too much liking to be another.
I am told that I can be improved in my grammar and such as that if I work at it. I worked very hard in retelling the story of the serpent. I was for a long time very tired. It was very important to me to do it well to honor my Grandmother. She was well spoken person. I was well spoken too but have much to regain my ability. So much confusion sometimes. Always I write how I think. My eldest calls it the stream of concousness writing. I like that term. I need though to write to be understood. Less people think me a fool.
I will go now. I wqnted only to say hello and I have been in shadows not gone fully.
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Moving On Posted May 21, 2009
I was wondering how you were - I'm so glad to hear from you John.
I'm happy for you that you haven't Alzeimers - that's an illness I wouldn't wish on anyone my friend. I hope the emergency surgury works well for you, as it did for a friend of mine who has had a similar operation.
I remember you mentioned that the sight of one your eyes left and returned - that friend of mine had a similar sort of thing, and I wondered then if you, too had this.
I am optimistic for your recovery, because she is fine after her operation. She teaches senior school kids science nowadays, and does it well.
I loved the story of the Serpent, it was beautifully told. When you feel stronger I know I'd like to hear more.
Never worry that you appear a fool john. Your son is right, your words are streams of consciousness and they sing and sparkle to all of us here. They are a joy to read, and I think you have a marvellous natural talent.
Stay well, and be gentle with yourself whilst you regain your full strength.
As for me, I'm doing alright - I get the results of my throat op in a couple of weeks; it can't be anything too serious or I'd be called in early if it were.
Life on the whole is OK here.
And I'm so glad to hear you're alright and will remain yourself.
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johnredbear Posted May 24, 2009
I have been well today and so write. I have no real news but that we fished the other day and enjoyed very much to be out and together. My wife is very quiet in her ways but she has been very sad lately for me. I have not words to give her for comfort so just I will sit and hold her hand. We fished and she smiled for first time in many days. I do not wish to depart this place before her. I do not wish her to be in greif so I will do almost all that the doctors have said though I do not want to. For many years we have been together and suffered many hardships and had many happy times too. We have burried children and loved ones, but we have raised 8 children and had much light in our life.
I fear I speak too openly so I will change the way of my words now. I hope I am able to stay in a way that I am understood. I want very much to learn about others and even to teach any that are interested in what people call woodcraft. No one seems really to care about such things anymore but that is ok it is a new time and I am glad that I will fade withithe old ways. I fit nowhwre but among my own.
I do not wish you to think I am angry or unhappy too much for this. It is the way of all people that getting older we lose our world. It is also the way of so many that what they knew is no longer a value. It seems to be the way of the worlds of man.
I seem to sound morose (I like that word) when I read back but I do not feel so. I accept all things that are out of my powers. The hard thing is to test what is in power and what is not! I am learning to only test a little now. Before I would nearly break myself to see if I would change something. Maybe now I am becoming lazy in life.
I will go now because I am becoming tired from too much writing and reading and am making many corrections as I write.
Please be good to yourself and remind also your sons that it is becoming their time to serve you as you have served them. It is the way things are to be ordered. Be well.
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Moving On Posted May 27, 2009
Its good to hear that you're increasing in health - it was no small thing you had done, and it's good that you write only when you feel well enough to; that's the way to a full recovery. As one of my friends remarked, small steps make champions.
Your fishing trip, and the special meal your wife made for you sound lovely. Sometimes words are redundant, but the "doing" thing are not, are they? They speak volumes. You both sound very secure and contented with each other, and that is so rare nowadays, anywhere. I envy you both, but in the best possible way, if that makes sense - it's how things "should be".
I think it'd be a good thing if, when you feel completely back to health, that you write some Entries about woodcraft for H2. And also the Tales; You could write about all the skills in your Journal, but then only a few of us would see it.
If you write about them and put then into the Guide then it will be in a section where *Anyone* could find it, for all time, - or for as long as humankind have access to the Internet, anyway! - and your knowledge and skills would not be lost.
When you first came to H2 you would have had a visit from an "Ace", someone who is knowledgable about the workings of H2 - perhaps you could ask them how you'd go about it. Or LL Waz might be the right person to ask.
Just a thought.
I was very surprised when I read that you have so many members of familly - I hope your meeting will be wonderful. 70 people, all of one familly - that to me, is amazing.
Like you and Mackay, I was adopted,too. The woman I refer to as Mother is not my birth mother, and her husband not my blood father, so I suppose although I carry his surname with pride, and passed it onto my sons (who are my only blood relatives) I am the beginning of a new familly tree.
Aunty Vicar is the last of the "old" M***ds and I'm the first of the new ones I guess. I'm glad my father's surname has continued for a few extra generations. I hope to be going up to the North of England within the next few weeks to visit her and her husband for a few days. I had arranged to go visit a friend who lives near Nottingham, and I found that my Aunt and Uncle only live around 20 miles away from her, so I can extend my visit a little and stay with each of them.
Today the new Computor finally arrives, so there will be a lot of unpacking and excitement today whilst we try and dismantle this old one and put it in the lads' room for their horrible computor games and get the new one set up in the living room.
And as none of us are particually technically minded there may well be a longish absence until we've done it
But I'll be back - honest!
Take care of yourself my friend and continue to recover well.
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