This is the Message Centre for Moving On
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Started conversation Aug 25, 2008
Hello Evadne
I stumbled over some of your posts here and there and was really taken with your thoughts (particularly in relation to health-related suicide), so I popped onto your PS and have added you to my Friends List
Somehow I never asked ... I usually do, but it slipped my mind
Frenchbean
I hope you don't mind
Moving On Posted Aug 25, 2008
Really delighted you did!
I've stumbled over you (metophorically speaking) quite a few times,too, and anything you've said I've either been able to relate to, or agreed with, in one way or another. I'm just dreadful at making first approaches,and I'm awful at small talk or twee smilies,as well, so I've just kept quiet
I felt a bit weird butting into the health-related suicide thread, but I really couldn't NOT say something on that one.
Call me Ev - most people do - and thanks for putting me on your friends' list. If I may, I'll do the same with you
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Aug 25, 2008
Ev it is. And of course you can add me to your list
I'm with you on the small talk. I find a large amount of what goes on in hootoo quite inane and other parts quite daunting, so I too keep quiet However, when I get on my soapbox (which isn't that often) I can rant with the best of them
I really appreciate your input to the suicide thread: it seems to have struck a chord with a lot of people and it is enormously reassuring to find that my views are far from uncommon.
Fb
I hope you don't mind
Moving On Posted Aug 27, 2008
Ah... soapboxing is different! Soapboxing is when there's something that *really has to be said, in spades with capital letters and things
It's fun...and a damned good way to let off steam;
it saves wear and tear on the hurled crockery, and any pets a person might own can get on with the serious business of having a kip instead of cowering behind the pet basket and building up protective barracades with their tinned food
I see from you journal you're in the throes of moving - you do get about a bit, don't you? I don't envy all that packing...especially when one company needs you not to pack incase they get the quote Having made over 30 housemoves in my time, I can really relate to what you're going thru.
The new place sounds brilliant tho' And I have to ask... is there *really a place called Chchch? Or is it an abbreviation, or one of those acronym thingummies people use? I don't see *why Chchch can't be a place name; after all, on the main motor way to Nottingham* there's a sign to turn off and visit a place called Wyre Piddle!
I've bee in H2 for...5 years on and off now, and I, too find some of it quite inane and other parts mind beggeringly complicated and overly intellectual. Having said that, it's also like a comfy pair of slippers you just don't want to lose.
* It's Probably the main motor way to Nottingham, but as my geography is appauling, shall we just agree that it's "up North" in the strict sense of accuracy? You definately pass a sign to turn off to a place called Burton Coggles on the way to Nottingham, that I *am certain of! The name always makes me smile, and conjures up a vision of a hackneyed 1950s charactor actor fallen on hard times.
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Aug 27, 2008
Chchch is my shorthand for Christchurch... sorry!
My aunt used to live in Piddle Trenthide, on the River Piddle in Dorset. The next village along the river was called Flush. Honestly
I guess hootoo is able to have the middle ground which we both seem to happily occupy, because it also has the extremes of banal blurb and mind-bending intellect. I dip into the latter and feel bamboozled and humbled. I dip into the former (very rarely and usually by accident) and feel satisfyingly disdainful
Packing is back on track
Fb
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Aug 27, 2008
Oh, and I seem to be on a 3 to 5 year cycle of moving for some reason I really don't understand it. I find a place, get settled, feel like I'm going to stay forever. Then some new interesting opportunity pings up.... and off I go One day it'ld be nice to think I'll come to a halt...
I hope you don't mind
Moving On Posted Aug 27, 2008
Plenty of time to settle someone and grow root, I reckon
What gets to me is you can't move gardens - you just get a nice little herb patch growing and the promise of a big harvest of lavender flowers and - whoops, off I went again I wish I could pack all the herb patches I've created......
I've been where I live now, for around 6 years - probably one of the longest stays *anywhere* (and that was mainly because the boys - young men now! -settled in well at school and I didn't want to uproot them.
It's nice enough, but I can feel my feet twitching and I'm ready to move on when I find somewhere I'd prefer to be. If I can't get the lads to fly the nest, then I will. I want my space back perlees!
I did feel a about the Chchch thingy - I realised where it was about 5 minutes after I'd posted
I think I must be lower middle intellect in some things... It always amazes me, on the intellectual threads that it seems so necessary for everything needing to be so clearly defined, when a lot of the time it seems blatently obvious (to me, anyway) that the subject matter just doesn't have a clear cut answer - the god threads are a good example.
I mean... If you believe in a god - then fine; if you don't - then equally fine. Both views are valid; we're never going to agree, so lets just agree to differ and accept there's different views would be my answer. It's just one of those things -why would it matter to anyone to get all gritty toothed and intellectual and feel they need to prove their ideas are more valid than others'?
I steer clear meself.
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Aug 27, 2008
Goodness me, Ev I don't think I've met anybody on hootoo who puts my thoughts into words quite as accurately as you
The god thing - I totally concur. I have no problem with people believing in God, gods, fairies, the moon, spirits, or nothing at all. Whatever gets you through the night...
What I do have a problem with is having somebody else's belief presented to me as the *only true* one and an expectation that I'm happy to debate my athiesm vs their faith.
For that reason I don't go near the belief/religion threads. I know where I stand on it all and after a lifetime of intermittent thought about faith/non-faith I think there are more important things in my life, thank you very much.
Don't you just love that much of the world around us is inexplicable? If we could explain it all, surprises wouldn't be nearly as frequent.
30 moves is a lot - even by my standards (says she, who hasn't actually counted). Has it been work that's moved you around, or simply your whim? I assume you're in Britain (don't know why I assume that )?
I *dream* of being somewhere six years The last time was 1991 to 1997 in a little mill village in central Scotland. Lovely place.
And yes, I had to leave my garden This time I have to not only leave my garden, but all my food Nothing at all is allowed into the island fortress that is New Zealand.
At least I can pack again Which is what I shall now go and do ...
Fb
I hope you don't mind
Moving On Posted Aug 28, 2008
Oooh! This is good, this is; it appears we're very much on the same wave length A friend of mine summed it up really well, over 30 yrs ago. He said "I don't bother god,and he doesn't bother me. We get along fine"
I like that!
And yes, it's *great that lots of life is inexplicable or just sheer wonderful. I mean... I suppose if I could understand the terminology, science could analyse to the last decimal place things like light refraction and tell me exactly *why we see rainbow colours when light shimmers on water.
But can it express the wonder and sheer frustration of trying to capture those colours, or the *impression of those colours when I try to paint it or make a bit of jewellry based on those colours?
No, it can't. And it's so much easier to just say "Wow! That's " and feel good about it. Whether I know or not the hows, whys and whats, it's no less beautiful... is it?
It wasn't work that moved me so much - work is something you do to provide oneself with shelter food clothing and a Life, I've always felt. I've never been career minded really, and because of that I've had an enormous variety of jobs, ranging from the sublime (Professional actress for about 3 months!) to the ridiculous (Insurance quotes clerk)
Mainly it was because I lived in Eire for 12 years of my life; I emigrated there from GB when I was around 25; all for love, of course, as you do at that age, and one of the first things I learned in Eire was that, come the summer, you had to find really ratty dwellings to live in whilst your landlord rented out your home to the tourists for the holiday season! And there was always competition to remain there. So many people and so few places to live!
Unless you were smart enough to ensure you got an 11 month and 28 day tenancy, or you could buy your own home, or you struck lucky and found a council property. Which I did, eventually.
And then there was the small problem of The Love's drinking problem; until I took over the budget (which usually meant searching the pubs of whatever town we'd done a runner to, up ending him and riffling thru his pockets for housekeeping) there was always the matter of unpaid rent and complicated conversations
Boy I was young, and green and foolish in those days. I wouldn't touch a boozing man with a 12 foot barge pole now.
But he did create lovely children. I had 2 lads with him, and we parted company before he could disrupt their lives too much. And the moves after that were mainly dictated by familly needs and crises. But in the first 6 years of Eire I think I must've moved at least 20 times...and some of it very rapidly.
We came "home" to GB around 13, 14 years ago; I'm an only child, and my familly seemed to be dying in droves and the remaining familly asked me to return to help them out. Eire had lost it's charm and I was rather home sick, so the lads and I moved back to Kent, where I originate from. Lots less moves now - just the 4 since I came home And the last one 6 years ago. But like I said, my feet are twitching and I want a new adventure.
I live in a little coastal town, in the area of Thanet; nearest big town is Canterbury. It's very slow and quiet, and old fashioned here; infact, Herne Bay (or Hernia Bay as I refer to it) has superceded Eastbourne as the highest population of over 70s in Britain.
The locals call it God's New Waiting Room
Your mill town in Scotland sounds lovely - what made you move from there...to Australia(?)
I think the move from where you are currently, to Chchch (see? I understand abbreviations!) is work related,isn't it?
Tell me, do!
And if I get too nosey, there's no problem in telling me to butt out
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Aug 28, 2008
You paint? I decided to try my hand a couple of years ago - in the spirit of having no regrets when I die. To put this into a bit of perspective, two of my three (older) brothers are artists - one of them has a Slade Diploma and is wonderful (imho). So I reckoned if I felt the urge, I should give it a go and if I enjoyed it that was enough. I wasn't going into it thinking *good* or *bad* - simply *satisfying* or *too frustrating*.
Well, blow me down, but I absolutely love it and I appear to have an eye for it I have been painting ever since - gradually building up my skills and developing a real passion for landscapes. I'm in my Impressionist Phase at the moment None of it is very serious - as long as I enjoy it, that's all I ask
Your move to Eire sounds romantic (probably wasn't really) and the consequences mixed (alcoholism vs. children - curses and blessings). It must be quite a relief to have stayed put for six years after so many rapid moves in Eire
My move from Ashfield near Dunblane (googlemap it) was a funny old tale. I worked for a Council there from 1991 and was subject to Reorganisation in 1996. My job was moved (with me in it) to another Council - where there was no interest in the natural environment (my field) and no operational budget. I stuck it out for 12 months - until I was offered voluntary severance and UKP12k Thank you very much
My professional confidence had taken a battering, so I decided I should grab the chance and travel. I was in the final throes of a 10-year relationship. So I hastened the end by leaping on a plane for Hawaii Then Tonga (heaven), NZ and Australia. The plan was then to go to Thailand, Israel, Greece and home to Scotland.
But after four days in Australia I met , fell in love, got married a year and a bit later..... long wonderful story. He then was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and died just two years after we met and I left Australia for Scotland in 2000 to find my feet again. I spent almost five years doing that - and preparing to get back here to find out if it was just I'd fallen in love with, or the country as well.
So now I find that I do love Australia as a playground - but it is a of a place to work. The values that I cherish of professional integrity, respect and trust simply do not exist in the parts of Australia that I've worked in. So I am moving to NZ in the hope (and expectation) that it is more like GB
I'm really looking forward to seasons again too. I'm a passionate food gardener and I can't quite get the hang of growing all year round. My life centres on the mad gluts of late summer and I really miss that chaotic time of harvesting, pickling, salting, drying, chutney, jam, jelly and freezing mountains (runner beans particularly ). Bring it on
There you have it - recent potted Frenchbean
Nosey is good, Ev
I hope you don't mind
Moving On Posted Sep 25, 2008
Fb - just bumping this up the bed a bit so as it doesn't fall off my page
I really want to give it a proper reply
Sorry I've been dilitory, it's nothing personal, honest. I've been watching your move to Chchch with interest and been cheering you on from the sidelines.
It's always a bit weird when you move somewhere new, let alone from one country to another, but the nice thing is, it doesn't seem to matter *where you go; there are always new people to meet and new friends to make.
They just haven't introduced themselves to you yet; but I bet they will do.
And sooner than you'd think
I hope you don't mind
frenchbean Posted Sep 25, 2008
Hello there Glad to hear you're in bed with your regular zigzags and the computer
Don't worry about not replying instantly - I realise things are a little out of the ordinary for you at the moment.
I can let you have the official weekly update on my movements if you're interested (no, no, no... surely not *more* blether from Frenchbean ) Drop me a line on frenchbeandotgmaildotcom and I'll put you onto the regulars list - along with Skankyrich, Websailor, AlsoRan, Smurfles and sundry other hootooers.
My head reassures me about finding friends, but my heart is a bit sad There are so many things here that I'd like to share with friends in person. Still, I do have my first visitor in November and then a steady flow until March
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- 1: frenchbean (Aug 25, 2008)
- 2: Moving On (Aug 25, 2008)
- 3: frenchbean (Aug 25, 2008)
- 4: Moving On (Aug 27, 2008)
- 5: frenchbean (Aug 27, 2008)
- 6: frenchbean (Aug 27, 2008)
- 7: Moving On (Aug 27, 2008)
- 8: frenchbean (Aug 27, 2008)
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- 12: frenchbean (Sep 25, 2008)
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