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Toyota Starlet Started conversation Apr 25, 2003
For some reason my sister seems to be incapable of taking a bath without getting water all over the floor. I am not quite sure how she does it. I have never once heard the sounds of the amount of hippopotamus-wallowing that it would take to move that volume of water that far onto the floor emanating from the bathroom.
I can only suppose then, that she bathes like people in fictional tv programmes and not like a normal person at all. For further evidence I have the fact that she always emerges from the bathroom swathed in fluffy towels; not a tatty bathrobe like the rest of us.
I assume then that she gets out of the bath, then drains the water, then dries herself once she has dripped most of the water onto the floor. Whereas normal people drain the water, dry themselves as far as possible whilst standing in the bath (so that all the water drains away), then get out, leaving only two damp footprints on the floor. The reasons I am making a fuss are manifold.
1) the reason that nowadays is trotted out about anything - it's a health and safety hazard.
2) it's damn annoying if you go into the bathroom all dressed just to get a tissue or something and your socks and/or the bottoms of your jeans (both highly absorbent materials) get soaking wet because then you have to go through the palaver of taking them off, drying your feet, finding a radiator to put the socks over and then finding some socks that are dry now.
3) Finally, our floor is covered with cork tiles. I have a sneaking suspicion that they either absorb the water, or that it drains down between them. This means that some form of new life is evolving under our bathroom floor and will one day erupt , probably, knowing my luck, whilst I am in the bath. So, if I am never seen or heard of again, you'll know why.
njan (afh) Posted Jun 20, 2003
Actually, I tend to stand up, hold the towel vertically at a slightly lesser height above the floor than the length of the towel (so that it's vertical aside from a small area drooping on the floor), step onto the drooping area, and then proceed to enwrap myself in the towel. That way, the floor stays dry, and so I do I. Alas poor towel. .. the bath gets emptied sometime later, if I remember at all.
But then, my wife is always complaining that I leave the floor wet.
Mullet Posted Nov 17, 2003
I am not abnormal! My friend (whose account I am using [with his permission]) asks 'what normal person stands in the bath till it's drained?' I must say, I agree - you must get freezing!
Anyway, I would tell you where to get off and say 'I don't moan about you to all my Salem friends' but guess what? No, instead I am just going to deliberately drip all over the floor when you come for Xmas. May many of your socks be soaked 5 mins before you have to leave for work!!!!!
Your loving sis
Mullet Posted Dec 8, 2003
Mullet Posted Dec 15, 2003
I seem to be having a conversation with myself here but never mind. I don't know whether you'll get round to reading this Toyota Starlet but there are a few points I should make clear.
1. When I said "I feel sorry for your socks" I was not taking your side at all and remain firmly on the side of your sister in all matters
2. The previous point was not made because I don't want you sister to be annoyed at me. No, not for that reason at all
Anyway, from reading your personal space you and your sister seem worryingly alike (I'm really for it now if she reads this).
Do you know what you're sister is up to college, hanging around with disreputable boys Disgraceful!
Mullet Posted Oct 23, 2004
Whatever possessed me to write all of that random stuff?
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