I'm still here, despite appearances to the contrary
Posted Mar 2, 2004
Hi there guys.
Wow - that last journal was a trip to read. I remember how it felt when I was writing it though.
It appears that I am finally coming through the end of this. However, I am absolutely exhausted. I have lost a lot of weight - equivalent to three or four dress sizes - since that all began. I am now trying to put some of it back on, and I'm finding it difficult! Never thought I'd be moaning that I'm too thin!
I had a fairly decent Christmas & New Year, considering. Luckily I've got some good friends here who helped keep away the blues.
Plus I've just got back from a short trip to Venice. That's somewhere I've always wanted to go, and the ex was never interested in going.
All in all, there's been a few occasions lately on which I have been glad I split up with him! Turn up for the books!
Sorry I missed the last meet, I really wasn't in the right frame of mind. Especially sorry to 2legs, I know you were involved in organising that one.
Hopefully, I won't miss the next one!
Back from outer space!
Posted Nov 18, 2003
Well, I'm back. I've found my old page. Excellent.
My life is pretty topsy turvy after Jeff left. He walked out the day I wrote my previous journal about getting my new job.
I heard nothing from him until just before my birthday on 3rd September. I went out for a few drinks with him on the 2nd, when he told me he was in love with someone else - this was no surprise to me, I'd seen them together before we split up!
However, the next day, on my birthday, he told me he still loved me, and that one day we would be back together. From that moment until Saturday 18th October he was constantly calling me telling me how me he loved me, and how much he missed me. We even went out for a drink on Wednesday 15th October, at which time he told me he felt trapped, and he was sure his girlfriend was just using him for financial reasons.
He called me on Friday 17th October asking if I would like to go out for a drink with him and his girlfriend the next day, and I said yes, cos I thought it would make him happy.
After a very boozy day he told me he was sick of being ignored by his girlfriend and and he would move out of the house he was sharing with her, and back in with me. I had my reservations about it, but I was willing to give it a try, considering what he had been saying to me. He stormed out of the pub in which the three of us were sitting, she left and I was left sitting there on my own. I asked Jeff by text if he would like to meet me in a local nightclub and he told me he wanted to go out with his friends. He then phoned me about half an hour later asking me where his girlfriend was.
I said I didn't know, and suggested he try her at her mother's house, cos she had tried to ring them using my phone before we left the pub. He said ok and hung up.
He then rang me again and asked me to get a taxi to his house right away, not explaining why. When I got there he was moving stuff into his van, and asked me to help.
I did so and then left, and he said he'd call me later. Needless to say, he didn't!
He changed his mind on the Sunday morning saying he was not sure. Then he told me later on that he was going to move back in with me, and asked me to meet him in a pub, where his girlfriend also was.
She left and then he dropped me home and went back to the house he was sharing with his girlfriend. He told me he wanted to be there on his own. How stupid am I?
I went round there on the Monday morning before work - her car was there, and I chucked his bags (previously left at mine) on his doorstep. I rang the doorbell, he came to the door and said he was going to move back in with me, I shouldn't jump the gun, taking things at face value.
He moved back in the Monday morning, and he left again the Wednesday after being unwilling to do anything with me except sleep in the same bed.
He was seeing her the whole time!
Why did he behave in this way? I gave him ample opportunity to tell me the truth didn't I?
Two days after that I flew to Dublin for an amazing weekend in the company of likeminded people at the "Sproutlore" convention called "They came and shaved us". If it wasn't for that, I do not know what I might have done! That saved what little sanity I had thankfully.
Gradually as I come to terms with the truth of what happened, and that fact that Jeff really had been happy with his new girlfriend for a long time, and had moved on, despite what he told me! I am healing a little day by day.
I look forward to the next meet on 10th January, and the next Sproutlore meet, in Derby on 31st January.
Things can only get better!!!!
I've got a job!
Posted Jul 15, 2003
I'm starting a new job tomorrow, and I didn't even have to have an interview!
It's a temporary position, but it's for at least 3 months, so I can save up in case I don't get placed straight away afterwards!
Ready Steady Cook
Posted Jun 21, 2003
I've got a chance of being a contestant. I went to London for an audition yesterday.
What a dream that would be for me, being as obsessed with talking about food as I am! Plus I'll hopefully get to meet my favourite chef again! Plus Ainsley, of course.
On tenterhooks for the whole weekend now!
Posted Jun 6, 2003
I've just had a couple of phone calls from one of the job agencies!
There is a possibility of a temporary position in Colchester (not too far away!) starting next week.
The first call was to tell me about the job, and ask if I would be interested - and could I start Monday if necessary?
The second call was to tell me the manager of the company where the job is had gone home for the weekend, and I will not now find out until Monday, with a possible Tuesday start.
Rachie D ..terrible at keeping in touch with people