h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

short and sweet
it don't rhyme
my shoes don't fit
but my jeans do

my shoes fit perfect
my jeans slightly slip
my teeth are upside down
and my hair makes me look like a git
but its my nose
it is trying to run off
like an inebriated snail

if we meet i'll wear a carnation in my lapel
something pleasant to look at
rather than a wonky slug face from hell

My nose is always running
I can't keep up with it
Its stamina is stunning
And I am so unfit

i couldnt think of anything to ryhme with handsome devil
so i used a bit of un-poetic lisense there

How you doing Prof?

when I die
I'll chalk a cross upon a cloud
so you'll know where I am
if you die first
you can rub mine out

My nose is a champion
It is useless at breathing through
holds a world record for making goo
and has a most musical sneeze
coughs great melodies with ease
and cannot smell a thing
unless i'm starving hun-ger-ry!!

when i die
i'll say: "i told you so!"
your cloud will be safe territory
your cross will read:

.......P
____R______
P R O F ' S
.......P
.......E
.......R
.......T
.......Y

your a natural Prof
i have a team of writers here trying to make me sound clever
will they ever??!!


no more talk of popping clogs
warm slippers please
even flip flops!!

a new year coming
so my friends luck will grow
I know this to be true
because I wish it so

to all - it's on it's way

I belive him!!


Yeah i do believe you indeed!
And i believe you reap what you sow

The gate to Poetry Hell
Opened, releasing unspeakable
poems -- sixty rhymes for "bell,"
With pentameters untweakable.

Oh yea! it is the night before
the night before
the magic eve of year!
Before the start of January
When verily, O verily
Everything will be Wonderful
And no child will live in fear

The next year'll be better than this.
Oh, nothing at all goes amiss.
No airplanes will crash.
We'll have plenty of cash.
Miss America I'll surely kiss.

[I have a bridge to sell you, if you believe that]

No one on the corner can swagger like us
when we are waiting for the bus
with Gus and Russ who love to make a fuss
about the times they have played chess
when they are feeling in a mess
and are full of stress about not playing with finesse.

Well we met up with Mr West
who was wearing his silk pink vest
and was feeling his best and was full of zest
about going to the musical fest
to meet up with the very well dressed
who are on a quest become musically blessed.

Shawn the sheep loves to creep
around the shepherd's jeep
and at night he goes there for a sleep
or to think very deep about becoming a chimney sweep.

I hope that you are all in fine fettle
to have a few sandwiches and a cup of tea.
So I will get my singing musical kettle
which I got on a shopping spree in Newbiggin by the Sea.

It really is magical and loves to sing a merry tune
and croon about the baboon who plays the bassoon.
Sing songs about adventures in Hong Kong
where it came across a talking dinner gong.

So come at four this afternoon of my newly built bar saloon
where there'll be a comic loon and a dancing raccoon.
I've even got my own ski run built by a nun
and my own range of realistic Star Trek gadgets which include a ray gun.

Love 5417

Flags are fluttering
In each fenced off patch
Gents are sipping gin
Watching there clock counts down

Father Time in manacles
Waits patiently to be set free
His big show comes but once a year
When the world watches his daily mattinee

CThank you myk6629129AKALoftskywalker.


When I am singing a love song,
I'll try to make sure it's not too long.
Well I don't know if it's right or wrong
although I know is that if makes me feel strong
about wearing my beach sarong when holidaying in Hong Kong.