h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's good to feel really alive,
To not just exist but to thrive.
The heart will beat faster,
You'll feel like a master,
But not if you get up at five.

Some really bad poetry:-

If I had a gun
I would leave a trail
Of dead dogs behind
On my way to jail.

If i had a spoon
for every time
my beady eyes
spied a pie
and lied
inside
from eye
to mind
that i
in hungers need
required
i'd rattle for all eternity
one more spoon
for being greedy
untill my little legs
could stand no more

Great poems Myk and Paul.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
the country squire is leading the choir,
all wearing their warm winter clothes,
with one of them playing on a lyre,
as folks come back from church in their limos.

A meal of turkey which keeps everyone perky,
and for a snack a few strips of beef jerky.
A dining room decorated with mistletoe,
and outside the garden is all covered in snow
with Joe and Flo going to a village winter show.

Help to make the season bright,
with plenty of food and drink,
which will greatly delight,
and keep everyone in sync as they think,
about wearing pink which makes the boys wink.

Some get the holiday traditions wrong,
With sleighbells roasting on an open fire,
And monotone choirs that butcher each song,
As merchants push prices ever higher.

arethra
drunk
urethra
crippled
battered
of whom one
cannot
know
shades and dogs
liver spots
teeth
harmonica
greying hair
holy dread
while
landlord
climbing
into
bushes

postage stamps
familiar
sparkling
ambition
in the doorway
mother
is not
a lady
she owns the melody
emotional diplomas
the earth
and its secret
and our secret
fear of destruction

i thought that this was supposed to be
bad poetry

I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt.
Jabs' poem seemed bad, a poetic rout.
At first,I thought it was a list of words,
But it came together, like flocks of dodo birds.

We could have had it all
when were dancing in the hall
and playing with a beach ball
which made us feel so very tall.

Rolling in the deep
with a flock of very happy sheep
who came in their hi-tech jeep
and made everyone's heart leap.

Then they were joined by a brass band
who were there to lend a hand
by playing music that sounded so very grand
on the sheep's grazing land.

It raised everyone's moods
as they came wearing Jedi cloaks and hoods
who were all elaborately tattooed
as they came with a good supply of drink and food.

The world's smartest sheep
Ran away from Bo Peep.
He found a great mentor,
Became an inventor,
Retired quite affluent,
Until his back went.

home where kettle sings and oven bellows
where tea and coffee cups with spoons dance
eternal sunshine kitchen stage with famous ghosts
a careering bullet train contently sits in comfee chair
time pauses all stops are cancelled for TV time
the patient bed waits til late cuddles up as eyes shut
morning come, the relics of my life point beyond the cave
my room pushes me out my butler cook and chambermaid

Desperation, a drunken sailor.
Why does the rain fall so quickly?
Badlands sail like small pirates.
Courage marries adventure.
Sailors arise like old bald tyres
while snakes endure

Talltree masts quietly view a running sore.
Where is the deadly seashell?
It is risen, roughly, like the clear moon’s
larger, lovelier masks, over the stormy shore.
Where is the sunken seaship?
Endurance is worship, a rough forgotten mainland.



@dodo.com

Farmer Giles of Ham lived by the river Cam
and was partial to buttered cram*
whenever he ate mutton with roasted yam
which he bought from his friend Sam.

But Farmer Giles was a bit of bully
when his staff ever broke his precious wheat shredder pulley,
and other times he could be quite woolly
about being a close friend of Augustus Agricola, the town Marquis.


*Cram is similar to Lembas and the Dwarfs and the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins was given Cram bread by the Beorn who is skin changer.

We planted no crops this year,
As Hank was laid up with a broken arm.
Rufus was still in school, and we're
Still seeking hired hands for the farm.

Instead, chicory sprang up wild
In the fields. We ground up the roots
To make coffee substitute, a mild
Alternative. We sold asparagus shoots.

Sleigh bells ringing and dancers swinging.
Presents they are bringing and much musical entertaining.
Joining together in charades and much play acting
which causes a lot of strange reactions and lots of social interacting.

Are you all listening to people as they begin their spiritual awakening,
with hard hearts softening whenever they are doing their gardening.
In the lane, snow is glistening in the evening at Great Wakering.
Enlivening all who are feel disheartened as the nights are lengthening.

A beautiful sight when everyone looks so clean and bright
which causes much delight where everything looks so white.
All covered in crisp snow which has fallen through the night.
As our dreams and our wishes take flight tied on to a giant box kite.

Gone away is the bluebird,
who always keeps it's word
on how to make lemon curd
and what do when being spurred.

He sings a love song
whenever he hears the dinner gong
or see anyone dressed in a silk sarong
playing a game of ping pong.

Walking in a winter wonderland
makes you feel grand about your life being so well planned
as you walk down the London Strand
and being in so much demand for your work as an hired hand.

In the meadow we can all build a snowman
and dress him up as Peter Pan
with the help of Anne, Stan and Dianne,
who have come with their homemade pecan flan.

The leaves were wet, but as it grew cold,
White lattices formed on them, nice to behold.
No snow yet, but just in case hook up the plow
To the truck, not after lunch, but now!

Forget about Santa Claus and his sleigh.
Nowadays, people don't get around that way.

magic lantern leaves twinkle in the garden
by the house the dwarf tree is star spangled
shop assistants wear thier cheer in red and white
and tread with magic and personal invite
the cold is never as bold as jolly workmen
and jolly ladies thaw ice with renewed warm purpose
my boot has a great hole but the water
but lets no water in

magic lantern leaves twinkle in the garden
by the house the dwarf tree is star spangled
shop assistants wear thier cheer in red and white
and tread with magic and personal invite
the cold is never as bold as jolly workmen
and jolly ladies thaw ice with renewed warm purpose
my boot has a great hole but lets no water in

The firewood has nearly run out
in my mountain cabin. Been snowing
For four straight days. I doubt
My hunger will stop growing.

For blissful Zephyrs of Spring I dream,
Though my coffee's bitter without cream.