Journal Entries
Gnome on a toadstool
Posted May 7, 2003
I know firms don't keep to delivery dates.It is a fact writ large on tablets of stone,it could even be the missing commandment.
"Thou shalt wait in all day for a non-existant delivery".
When you order your new sitting room furniture, the really nice looking "three seater" with it's cute little friend "two seater",and the man in the shop gives you a delivery date,you know it won't be kept.
When you phone up a week before to confirm delivery times,you know that all that passes for information is fiction.
Even the day before,when you call on the pretext of making sure "That was P.M we agreed wasn't it?
"You know it won't come.
Knowing all this,why did i take my old chairs and setee to the tip yesterday afternoon?,and is it in any way related to the fact i'm now sat in my newly decorated sitting room on a fishing seat looking like a gnome on a toadstool?
It'll be here on Friday apparently.
Discuss this Journal entry [136]
Latest reply: May 7, 2003
Not well.
Posted May 4, 2003
I'm not well
.
Luckily being a male, i will cope with it very stoically,and will not expect a fuss to be made over me.
.
Everybody tells me it's a cold,but i know it's flu at the very least!
look at that,it's not supposed to look like that is it?
I'm taking to my bed until i've had a visit from the
or at the very least a 
.Visiting times are as usual,no flowers just fruit(not satsumas).
Thank you for your concern, i will post more if i can find the strength.
Discuss this Journal entry [44]
Latest reply: May 4, 2003
Britain in the dark ages?
Posted Apr 27, 2003
Today i have been to Luton airport
and have learned something, which has given me the hump.
1. As it was 1130 when i arrived and the flight i went to meet was delayed i decided to wait it out in the time honoured manner
.So armed with my paper i passed the masses in "coronary corner" forcing burgers
and danish
down,and found the bar
.People were reading their papers,smoking and enjoying a beer,almost continental was the atmosphere.
"Boarding pass"! snarled mine host
,i explained i was just here to meet somebody,"can't serve you till 1200 it's sunday." I asked him which day of the week it was for the rest of the customers, but my sarcasm was lost.It seems that not serving non flying customers is to discourage us from going up there on a sunday morning and paying £6 for a pint of their foul beer, just to steal a lead on the rest of the country,not a loophole i'd be keen on exploiting
.Everybody bangs on about Britain being part of europe, i will believe it when i start to see us being treated as europeans,instead of something unmentionable from the dark ages.
Things to do tommorrow;
1. Get a beer when i want one.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Apr 27, 2003
25-04-03
Posted Apr 25, 2003
Achieved today's goals!!
Managed to keep my head out of trouble and not get 
,and with a bit of help from a friend worked out smileys.
Things i have learned today:
1 If you decide to mow the lawn at this time of year it is imperitive that you check for frogs before starting
.It is no use looking for them after you have finished.
2 If you are sauntering down the street enjoying the weather and you see a swarm of flies,it is a good idea to stop 
before you enter the swarm
.
Things to do tommorrow;
1 Buy some really strong lawnmower cleaner(Mr.Amphibian?)
2 Cancel order for "Lord of the flies"
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Apr 25, 2003
24-4-03
Posted Apr 24, 2003
I like to take a little from each day and carry it with me;these are things i've discovered today.
1 If you take a body part(say the head) and strike it,even at low velocity,against something hard(lets say an 11 ton trailer) the damage to the latter is in no way proportional to the damage to the former.
2 People without a headwound find people with a headwound very amusing,to the extent of outright laughter.
3 Pieces of metal i'd previously thought held one thing to another on a trailer are in fact cunning devices to collect scalp samples.
4 Prodding a headwound to see if it still hurts ensures that it does.
Things to do tommorrow:
1 Watch where i put my head.
2 Work out how to use smileys.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Apr 24, 2003
Back to airscotia-back by popular demand's Personal Space Home
airscotia-back by popular demand
Researcher U208927
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."