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Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 1

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse (aka B4[insertpunhere])

smiley - book
Now a note of explanation:
There were quite a few Threads that I was active on, before my (ex)spouse insisted I give up HooToo. I was accused of quite a number of malefeasances, including having an "online affair." None of it was true, but I relented and gave up participating in H2G2. This is the reason I've been gone from the site for seven years (as of this writing). In January of 2019, we divorced.
smiley - brokenheart
My marriage to A--- was "interesting", at best, "a rollercoaster of emotions", at its worst. In our later years together, I could almost set my calendar to when the next major upheaval of emotional torrents would occur. There was enough of a dichotomy (read hypocrisy) between her expressed words of piety, versus her conversations and her actions toward family and friends, and it all grated on the nerves.
smiley - erm
In 2017, our youngest daughter took her own life, choosing not to stay in this world because she perceived it as toxic and a place where good people were beat down. She was an "old soul", and losing her at the age of 20 years and 15 days was a hard blow to the whole family. If not for understanding God's scriptures, I would have been a broken man. Yet, despite the immediate loss in this world of my darling child, I know that the Reunion we will have later will be a balm to my own soul.
smiley - magic
Over that next year, I witnessed even greater aberrations in my (ex)spouse's behavior. She didn't deal with the passing of our daughter at all well, despite the fact she'd known the scriptures far longer than me. No amount of my consolation made a difference to her. Her habits of vilifying those closest to her, making baseless accusations, and generally attempting to manipulate emotions and situations to suit her whims got to be too much. In the course of yet one more argument (about a situation concerning our middle daughter), I told her (the ex) to simply wait a bit and let our middle daughter work through it. The (ex), instead, tried to hold me accountable for the problem and wanted to escalate the argument. I had enough and told her I was going to "take some time to cool off." She told me that if I wasn't back in a certain amount of time, that she would leave. I didn't return promptly, and when I did, found she had packed a portion of her things and had truly "left."
smiley - suitcase
At that moment, I realized where her thinking was at. She didn't want to be with me. Considering that, over the 25 years of our marriage, after ~all~ the times I'd taken to "cool off"... I always came back. For the one time she decided to walk out, her response was to tell me she would no longer live with me.
smiley - huh
Again, I took time to assess the situation. Since I 'saw' the way our relationship had become toxic, I chose not to pursue her to "win her back." That would have been foolhardy. I helped her get established in a duplex, as a separate living arrangement. She filed for divorce. When I saw the extent to which she wanted to "clean me out" in the process, I hired a lawyer as well and fought back. It was a year-long ugly battle, and at this writing the status of the house we built (and I've paid for) is still pending resolution. After that, the only ties I have to her is a moderate stipend from my current employment, and "half of a third" of my military retirement (since we were married only 6 years of my 20 in service).
smiley - hug
One major change for the good is that I ran into a wonderful lady along the way. It was about 6 months after the (ex) walked out. Willo and I met in an online "environment" called Second Life. I'd stumbled in there and liked it enough to stick with it, because there are venues that allow the avatars you fashion to "dance together." There was one place in particular that I liked, fashioned to resemble the Savoy Ballroom (a Big Band Swing era club). I actually spent 5 days in a row there, utilizing one of the AFK Dance Buddies to practice, getting familiar with the Dance HUD Menu, learning how to time and sequence the dance steps so it looked fluid and natural. It was good that I did. There was one evening I was there, and needed a dance partner. Willo happened to be visiting the club and offered to dance. We chatted up a storm, and I saw a kindred spirit. She was impressed with how well I could make our avatars dance together.
smiley - smooch
It wasn't long before we started hanging out regularly. We hit it off so well, we became "Partners" in SL, and got "married" on the same Parcel (local site) of the Savoy, where we'd met. We have had all manner of adventures throughout SL since then. We also found an opportunity to meet in Real Life. That cemented our relationship, and Willo and I are now living together… and we're considering marriage in the not-too-distant future. One interesting side-note about this new relationship. In the year that we have been together, we have not argued… not even ~once~! I didn't know that was possible (from my previous experience). Sure, we've had differences of opinion or didn't understand each other (initially) on certain topics, but we've never argued about any of it. Rather, we stop and discuss the situation, attempting to line up the solution as much as possible with Godly advice and a view to a Win-Win outcome, so both of us feel respected. It works. It honestly does…
smiley - booksmiley - biro
So… that's the "mile-high" view with "broad brush strokes" to explain what has transpired since last I frequented HooToo. Why am I back? Same reasons I was here before. I listed all that on the my Personal Space. It still holds true today. The people here treat each other kindly and share of themselves. It enriches the lives of all who attend here and use that knowledge to improve their own lives and the lives of others.
smiley - ok
It's good to be back. Nudge me if you wanna chat…
smiley - cool
B4weallsingAuldLangSyne


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 2

You can call me TC

I did wonder.

Your tale has left me rather stunned for the moment, but I didn't want to leave it unacknowledged.

And - rather belatedly - welcome back. We need a few more regulars these days!


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 3

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse (aka B4[insertpunhere])

smiley - biggrin
Well, TC, it is good to be back among folks who take a moment of introspection before "sharing" their thoughts. I've found too many other social media venues have become toxic with off-the-cuff rants, inundated with emotional venting, and the me-me-me entitled attitude that seems to plague our current social climate.
smiley - erm
Granted, my main reason for being here has always been to have fun, enjoy the company of folks a bit different than me, and to learn from all the interactions. I didn't expect much more than that, but I experienced so much more than that. Beyond anything else, I saw the "community" this place affords. It falls neatly into one of my basic operating tenets: "work towards ~inclusion~, rather than ~exclusion~." Having a broader circle of friends stands a person in good stead, because none of us can do this Life thing all on our own...
smiley - winkeye
B4isueupallmytimeonthissoapbox


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 4

paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me

I'm sorry you have gone through so much, Moose.

If you like music, go to my personal space and click on some of the links I give to group singing, favorite carols, and favorite songs.

This assumes that you can stream music and videos through youtube. Maybe our tastes are different, but I provide quite a variety of pop songs, folk songs, and classical.

Let me know if you would like to read a Christmas story about a fictional place based on my home town. I can give you a link.


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 5

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse (aka B4[insertpunhere])

smiley - book
Reading? Why certainly! Send / Drop a link for the Christmas tale.
I'll check on the music, because... like... MUSIC!
smiley - whistlesmiley - musicalnote
B4myheadisfilled2overflowing


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 6

paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me

Hi

The entry for the Christmas story is this:
A88008096

It's also going to be published in three parts in the Post, but the last part won't be published until Dec. 28.


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 7

paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me

Disregard the link in my last posty.

use this instead:
A88006467


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 8

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse (aka B4[insertpunhere])

smiley - hollysmiley - mistletoesmiley - xmastree
Thanks, pauh... That was a comforting read. Despite the CoViD thing, we can still 'make' a Christmas Holiday that meets our needs and warms our hearts.
smiley - biggrin
B4wehaveachance2readalltheotherWinterTales


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 9

Blue-Eyed BiPedal BookWorm from Betelgeuse (aka B4[insertpunhere])

smiley - cool
You know I'm gonna call you Paul, instead of pauh, from here on out, right?
smiley - winkeye
B4iaskUwhyUrenderedyourmonikerwithouttheL


Why I Left HooToo... and Why I'm Back

Post 10

paulh, making lemonade from the lemons that life has given me

I may have moments of panic and sadness, but sometimes I can summon some joy and share it with others who need it.

Merry Christmas.smiley - crysmiley - holly


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