Posted Aug 30, 2005
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night..."
Posted Aug 18, 2005
Would it be illegal to harpoon the sad little person who keeps riding his hairdryer of a moped up and down my road at silly hours of the morning, hitting parked cars with his hand as he goes past to set off their alarms? I've lost a fair bit of sleep, I'm sure the courts would understand...
"Harpoon at the ready"
"Fire at will..."
Posted Jun 26, 2005
My eyes are killing me... Just been to the opticians getting contact lenses, and they made me put them in and take them out three times, to make sure I could do it, but it seems I'm allergic to the cleaning solution. Nice...
Posted Jun 2, 2005
I can't believe I just posted The Purple Joke... I'm so sorry everyone, you didn't deserve it!
Thought for the day
Posted May 21, 2005
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.