h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nelson,

I shouldn't have crossed the line with that idiotic biotheory. Even if it were true it wouldn't be any less despicable to mention it.

I really failed to appreciate how much you are one of us, how you really have married into the tribe and how that must be very difficult for you at times. Like those before you who left the colonial settlements and never looked back, you've probably been a renegade or the equivalent and you really shouldn't feel compelled to denigrate your own people just because I'm on a dispicably self-indulgent rant. I didn't mean any of it to apply to you personally.

You are a friggin' miracle in my eyes. I can't believe it sometimes, and my lack of faith probably shows, even when I don't want it to.

You really shouldn't diss yourself so much and I shouldn't join in when you do. You're a wonderful person, with a very lucky wife, better than me too, because if the tables were turned, I don't think I'd want marry into the settlements or even go there unless I absolutely had to.

Anyways, I just wanted you to know I'm sorry if I've hurt you with my stupid words and I hope you'll forgive me.

Sincerely,
Analiese

Annaliese, please, don't worry, if there's anything white people need, it's to be poked fun of. Without a sense of humor we'd be Germans. (Ich habe ein Witz gemacht. Verzeihen sie mir, meinem Deutschen Freunden.)
Seriously, that's the joke on me. I want to be this renegade, but i live in a super nice neighborhood with my high paying job and my cars and all the comforts of life I want. my wife says all the time how I've changed her. How she never had anything growing up and how now she can't stop shopping. So instead of being involved like I should, I just wisked my bride off to the old world.
I have an aunt who works for as a lobbyist for Native Americans who are trying to expand gaming throughout the country. She makes dirt, flies all over living out of a suitcase, and everytime I see her I think, should I do more than just write a couple of checks every year? What is my responsibility? If I do more than my neighbors is that enough? Or am I supposed to do more?
So when I hack into myself, I encourage one and all to join. I deserve it, more than you know.
Nelson

By the way I like the theory. I think it's that whole concept of invasive species, when they cross continents, or end up on isolated islands and end up taking over. It seriously makes sense. No natural enemies, upsetting the ecosystem etc.

I'm glad you're such a strong person. A weaker one would be going ballistic about now I think and I wouldn't blame you really if you did do that.

It might have been entirely plausible and reasonable but I just couldn't shake the awful feeling I had after presenting it to you. So I had to let my heart do the thinking about that.

I guess I should tell you my personal theory on the way the world works on a personal level. Maybe you'll know why I don't get hung up on hurt feelings and such. And conversely why I can be completely ignorant as to why other people get offended.
See, the world is like the plains of the Serengeti (or any other cool diverse animal population center). And some animals are born to kill, some to graze, some to feed on leftovers, others are just plain parasites. It is critical to know yourself, what you are. So that way you stick to your kind. Now we're not talking racial here, it's more mindset, philosophy, lifestyle, that kind of stuff. I happened to be a predator. I have always been among the biggest, strongest, and most aggresive in any group. So I use that to guide my career, mating habits, etc...
Once you have that established, you need to know if your a pack animal or solitary. Most people are not one-dimensional, but it's tendencies that I look for, generalizing is handy when you're a predator. You can file encountered creatures in your food, mating, or rival files quickly. I am a pack animal myself, although my careerpath has changed how I fill my social needs. I used to have a ton of friends and jobs where my interaction with people tended to be stunted. Now I spend my day surrounded by males, all perpetually challenging the pecking order. So after 8 years, I no longer have any friends outside of work because of the overwhelming amount of interaction I get at work. I am also an Alpha Male at my work, as I was before with my friends. It's all about being in control and having the loudest bark, and the most feared bite.
I have been like this as long as I can remember and first started thinking about this concept early in adolescence. It seems a little juvenile when I try to articulate it, but maybe it'll make sense to you. I fit everyone into this world in my head, and I operate effectively.
I'm pretty sure everyone does this on some level or another. Everyone has a different set of terms or definitions. But it's all the same. Some people go through life putting everyone mentally in the cliques they used to see in high school. Or whatever.
But mine is appropriate for me because it solved a difficult question I had early on. Why does it have to be this way? I answered it by not answering. A lion that questions why it likes the taste of zebra will not necesarily be a better hunter. So you learn to focus on what makes you more likely to succeed based on your own stregnths and weaknesses. I hope that clears a little up, and eases our heart, wouldn't want you to worry.

Somehow I'm not quite convinced that it's as simple as you say with humans. It would be nice if it was, of course.

It would definitely reduce the confusion to think strictly in predatory terms, except that I think even there, it's been oversimplified. I think that non-human predators just might be a little more sophisticated in their own right than many humans would like to believe.

It's sort of like when the whites came to America, they couldn't be bothered with all the diversity of cultures, languages and so on, so they invented the concept of the indian to simplify stuff for them and it's been a source of misunderstandings ever since.

It's not that people aren't complicated. It's just that in most of your encounters, you are not going to get to know every nuance of their existence. They filll certain roles in certain given circumstances. This can hold true even for extended periods of time if the circumstance (i.e. work environment) do not change. Of course white people do this, it's how we've managed to subjugate and destroy every alien culture we encounter. It's not good, but it is.

Thanks, I think I'm beginning to understand the issues a little better.

Deconstructing humanity, that's what conquest is all about. Fun eh.

If you say so. I'm thinking maybe whiteboys have a problem with acute and massive arrested adolesence. But I could be wrong about that.

I don't see it as a problem. Is that a problem?

If you don't see it as a problem it must not be one then right? At least not for you.

This is way to existential for me.

Go ask your wife then if you have a problem. I bet she'll let you know.

My wife thinks I've got lots of problems. If you ever get married you'll know, the last person to see you as flawless will be your spouse. If I had a girlfriend though, she probably wouldn't think I had a problem. Just like my wife, before I married her.