h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As usual, I was making the case for intelligent women having a harder time pairing off, because men (we're talking about Italian men here, I haven't a clue how it works in the rest of the world) are too insecure to be able to handle a woman whom they perceive as being smarter, more popular and more interesting then they are.

I've had that problem, I have it still. I scare men off. Can't do much about it. I can be generous with my feelings all I want, but they can't seem to handle what I consider the best traits of my personality. So it's either comply and tone myself down (and hate myself) or stick to my true self and prepare for long-term loneliness and spinsterhood. I'm choosing the latter. Personal integrity is forever.

Anyway, as I said this I was told I'm stuck-up for saying that I'm intelligent and that my former boyfriends were intimidated by it. That they probably left me because I thought I was "all that".

Cool one, that. If I say I have brown eyes, I'm tall and have long hair, people never argue that I'm making it up and I'm stuck-up for saying so. But God forbid that I say I'm intelligent, although that's something I was born with, exactly like my irises and my legs. It's not appropriate to say that. It sounds scandalous, especially for a woman, to proclaim she has wits and is unafraid to use them. Better still, to show them.

Hello, I'm stuck-up.

You'd think most guys would want an intelligent woman. You'd also think the novelty of a bubble-headed bimbo would wear off rather quickly. I know I certainly can't feel passionate toward someone I can't respect... but then, I consider myself to be a rather intelligent woman myself.

If knowing you're intelligent and interesting scared former boyfriends off, then they didn't deserve you. Because you ARE 'all that'. I can't tell you how much I respect you for knowing it and not dumbing yourself down to appease other people.

Here's to being stuck-up!

scare men off surely not! you dont scare me because yuor intelligent
of course YOU do need to get into football more! lol
nah anyone who's scared off by your intelligence aint worth bovvering wiv.
ps do you live near turin?

plus as you can see i cant spell your!

This is not only in Italy this way.
I know what you are talking about.

the problem is the, macho, i'm the boss problem,that a lot of people
i know have.
its insecurity really,i used to work @ a uni so i'm used to loads of brainy women,one was sort of my boss.
doctorate in phsyics/pure maths ,lovely person.

Of course it's insecurity. Men are always comparing themselves with whatever or whoever.
Beginning with The Size.
And the other thing is that the role of men in society has changed a lot during last 1 000 000 years. They don't need to take care in that manly way, hunting and such. And their wage is usually equal to ours etc.

as a man i should "be one of the lads" and disagree with you!!!!
BUT you are right,my attitude is , this is the way it is now, accept it!
enjoy the equality because it works both ways.
i just dont have a problem with it at all,its sad some people do.

I really believe that it depends mostly on how good terms one is with himself. It's easy to cope with others when you don't try to fight yourself. Or something like this. Sorry, I have some problems with expressing myself today, especially in English. .-/

I inteligent women as long as they have sense of humor.
just get to know me.


a song about female "airhread"
http://www.thomasdolby.com/reference/lyrics_aliens.html#airhead

*checks the presence of her sense of humour*

Can of worms I've opened there... But tell me, boys: have you ever had a girlfriend whom you perceived as being superior to you, or at any rate who seemed to outshine you? And if so, how did you cope (for want of a better word...)?

that is in your case more than , Hati!

*Greta's sense of humour is off on holiday along with her faith in men*

as long as I can learn something I love it!

I am wired being (see my space: pheloxionairy)

You didn't exactly answer my question there, now did you?

My last ex was ever so not-happy with the fact that he was mr.Hati. That was one of the main problems between us as it caused an urgent need for him to prove that he is actually better than me. I tried to help him. That was my mistake. But he has a good sense of humour.

Hi Greta! It's another stuck-up one here; believe me, if you think Italian men are bad, for gods sake don't try English ones!!

The French sample I've tried is possibly not representative(!) but I'd say was far less threatened by the intelligence aspect; welcomed it in fact; but the general "over the top" personaity bit.... mais non, non, non, merci!! Far too much like hard work!

Yes, I did try "dumbing down"; but as you say, it doesn't work, just builds up resntment, you end up finding more & more creative ways to "get your own back"; which destroys the love aspect.

I'm certainly far happier now I'm not living with him, so is he. we can now see each other without feeling petrified of having to make compromises all the time; which is an inevitable part of any serious/ live-in type relationship.

This probably doesn't help; I do wonder often if women like us are actually destined not to have the "happily married with 2.8 kids" scenario; if so, maybe we're just going to have to make the best of what we've got.... which is actually quite a lot!!!


Terri
ps: Yoda is obviously far more intelligent than me; but I try not to let it affect me too much! She is God & that's that!

I am getting to think that it was quite smart of me to have my kids first and then trying to settle myself down. If I tried to do it in the opposite order I'd perhaps still be nowhere.

Which is where I'm at not, Hati I don't regret not having kids, though, too much to do, too little money.