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Larry Grayson

Post 1

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

Hey Dazza

I'm subediting this stellar Entry at A758072.
I've split it into three, as you'll see.
Do take a look and let me have any comments.

smiley - cheers

Bels


Larry Grayson

Post 2

Dazza Oxford

Hi, I think overall you have done a really good job in the initial editing, obviously there are parts that need polishing etc.

There are only 2 points I can see that I would like to stay as they were originally intended, as I think they work well as they are:

1) The titles to the biography sections I prefer as, Larry Grayson - Look At The Much On 'Ere! Part..... I think this title works well as it is a play on the catchphrase Larry used to illuminate dirt or muck, therefore it is a sly reference from 'him' that the piece (biography) is slightly mucky itself or a tease that it is filth!

2) Part 2 needs alterning slightly. The bad line is during 'But How Gay?', "But it was Larry and his sudden fame that had attracted the most speculation as to sexuality (sic)". It is clumsy and not entirley making sense, his sudden fame couldn't obviously have allegations or specualition about its sexuality levelled against it! And the obvious grammar error "as to sexuality".


Apart from that I am happy with the way it has progreesed and think the idea of splitting it works very well!

Thank you and congratulations smiley - smiley


Larry Grayson

Post 3

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

I shortened the title because the in-house team doesn't like titles running on on too long. However I'll re-instate your title, but just be aware that it may (or may not) get edited down later.

"But it was Larry and his sudden fame that had attracted the most speculation as to sexuality (sic)".

Sorry, I don't understand the problem. Can you let me know what you want to say here.

Thanks!

Bels


Larry Grayson

Post 4

Dazza Oxford

Hi, I think the sentence should read, "But it was Larry, with his instant national fame and overtly sexual act, who had seen more specualtion and gossip as to his sexuality than most other performers of that type.

Other than this it is all ok smiley - smiley


Larry Grayson

Post 5

Dazza Oxford

Hi, I think the sentence should read, "But it was Larry, with his instant national fame and overtly sexual act, who had seen more specualtion and gossip as to his sexuality than most other performers of that type.

Other than this it is all ok smiley - smiley


Larry Grayson

Post 6

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

OK. I've reworded that slightly, because a reference to an overtly sexual act on stage could be misunderstood! It now reads:

By the time Larry Grayson was making the move from commercial television to the BBC he had become one of the most prolific of the high camp comics. John Inman, Kenneth Williams and Frankie Howerd may have been camping it up in equal measure; but it was Larry, with the instant national fame and overtly sexual content of his act, who attracted more speculation and gossip as to his sexuality than most other performers of that type. Larry had also perfected the double entendre in a way that was much more direct and matronly than other such comedians, who were more 'schoolboy smut' than 'matriarchal'.

If that's OK with you I'll be adding some links, finishing off generally, and return it to the italics.

It's looking really good!

smiley - cheers

Bels


Larry Grayson

Post 7

Dazza Oxford

Yes that is fine like that. Always best to be careful as there's always someone who will pick something up in error. BTW I am working on a similar type biography soon, this time though I will do it like this one as part 1 2 and 3, do I have to enter 3 separate guide enrties, or just one long piece with the different parts subtitled and leave the editors the separation job smiley - smiley

Thanks for the help, and well done smiley - smiley


Larry Grayson

Post 8

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

It's your choice - there are pros and cons.

Obviously you could do it in one long entry as you did for this one, and let others sort it out.

Or you could just indicate suitable break points, which should be every 2000 words or thereabouts.

Or you could add linking pieces etc.

Whichever you choose, I suggest you leave it all as one long entry to make it simpler for Peer Review purposes.

Have you thought of trying your hand at GuideML?


Larry Grayson

Post 9

Dazza Oxford

I'm not sure how to use GuideML at the moment but will get round to using it no doubt. It is always nice to see the pieces edited as they always do the edited ones as GuideML and it is much better, BTW is there any suitable pictures you can think of inserting in the Larry biog? I suppose a spotlight and a mike would look ok, or a chair maybe (?)


Larry Grayson

Post 10

Bels - an incurable optimist. A1050986

Browse
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/GuideML-PictureLibrary
and see if there's anything that takes your fancy.


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Larry Grayson

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