h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, since it was his idea ........ nah that wouldn't work here either, womans work and all that.

I'm sorry you've gotten yourself roped into housework and the like at this time of rest and relaxation. Best just go with the flow

I guess it's his revenge because I insisted that he's do the shopping - I told him I wouldn't know why I should do the shopping AND the cooking every day.

Well revenge is a dish best served cold I always think, just take a little time and plan some special ingredients for his next meal, or like an acquaintance of mine clean the toilet bowl with his toothbrush.

He need never know, and it will give you back that nice warm feeling.

Not too sure about that, really, I guess the mere thought would make me vomit - whereas he wouldn't have any problem at all.
Oh well, just another 24 hours and it shoiulod all be over. The boys are very upset,too, though, because he told them to clean their room and whatnot. You know, I start thinking of refusing to do anything - just to show my husband and her. Maybe she'll cope (but I know she'll not, which maybe would prevent her from further visits).

Just grin and bear it then, when all else fails thats usually what I do - smile when you're crying inside and inventing all manner insane curses which I can wait and see if they come to fruition.

Yes, I know, it's usually the only way to cope - but I'm so fed up with this - I'm 45 years for god's sake, I should be treated and respected like an adult, a partner. It's no wonder my self esteem is so low at times.

Don't let it wear you down, sometimes the adult thing to do is keep the peace, and that's no reflection on you. Choose your battles carefully Bel, I'll be 45 in February, and if I've learned anything it's that some things are worth fighting for and some things just aren't worth the trouble. Me and the big lad used to fight the bit out day and daily over just about anything, I was young and like you suffered from low self-esteem, but now I just think - what the hell - it's not worth it I've more important things to do, and it only seems to be me that gets upset about it all - so why bother.

If you really feel strongly about it - go out - make yourself unavailable for the day, and evening. Make your absence felt.

If it's just another in a long list of assumptions by the manual - is it really worth the fight.

You are a very special person and a priceless irreplaceable speciman of womanhood - don't let the bugger get you down.

Thanks, I fully agree, I fought for years - for things that were worth fihghting for - and I never got what I asked for. So, a few years ago, I resignated, I do my best to keep the peace, even if it means that the boys look down on my for being weak, but they profit, too. I have completely lost interest, I do my own thing now, I have opened a new site in a book - I made many friends and went to meet them several times, that's what counts, and that the boys have a good and peaceful home.

Whooo, I don't mean give up entirely, just choose your battles carefully, some things are worth fighting for - others are just a waste of time.

*whisper*The manual and I don't actually live together for all those reasons, we've been together for over 25 years, but I couldn't bear him round here day and night, we see each other every day, and do all the family stuff with the little one, but in the end I couldn't listen to the gospel according to him for the rest of my life, so I don't have to.*/whisper*

I retreat to my house and he does to his ....... I always tell the child he'll cool in the skin he heated in .... and he usually does.

I've always thought that instead of marrying, you should sign a contract for, let's say ten years. If after this time both want to go on, it will be prolongued for another year and so on. I bet he'd at least tried in that case. As it is, hhe got too confident and comfortable, and took me and everything for granted. Two or three years ago, I told him, that he erred and that I wanted him to leave. He then said he wanted another chance, and as I really didn't want to bring up the boys on my own (he threated to move very far away), I gave in. And there are a few things i fight for, but very few.

I think I have the best of both worlds, but bringing up children on your own isn't the worse thing you know, it could do you a big favour if he moved far, far away.

I rarely have the manual stay over because he finds fault in everything about my house - which I've bought and paid for myself (but not decorated - or kept - to his taste). He's never spent a sleepless night with the child, (except once on holidays when I was very, very drunk - and he complained about it).

If given a choice - live with him or let him move to Saudi, I'd let him move, my life would be much less complicated without him. That said, he is sometimes very pleasant and amusing.

To be honest, I'd not have had a problem with my eldest, but I'm really glad the youngest isn't my responsibility alone And now he's 15, it's onlky three more years and he'll be 18 My eldest has been 18 in October this year.

Well, boys can be a handful can't they. I'd wait the 3 years then, not a long time really, but I'd go soon after that - get a place of your own and spread your wings.

Life's way to short to stick around after that.

True, three years isn't a long timne, and yet many things can still happen. I'll just wait and see how things develop.

Yes indeed, waiting and seeing is always the best option when in doubt.

I'm currently waiting and seeing if this new job of mine is all it's cracked up to be. I'm also waiting to see if the cuckoo clock the manual bought for me for Christmas will ever arrive.

Sometimes just b.itchin' about the stuff is enough to make you feel better isn't it.

Yes, it usually helps me to rant. I don't really dare to do so in my journals anymore, I've been accused of being so negative etc, but I know I can be myself with you - and/or lil. The manual once read everything I posted here on hootoo, and it was hard for him, the concept of 'tell it to your friends, get it off your chest and feel better' is incomprehensible for him.

Well my manual is exactly the same if that makes you feel any better, doesn't get it at all - taking to girlfriends.

Also, I've never, ever told him about this place or about anything I've written. He'd just say - have you nothing better to do with your time? Yet my friends at work all know about it, and even the child.

When he comes over I change my home page to google just in case he wants to use the computer.

You're righht to do so. When I started here, we 'shared' his PC, i.e. I was allowed to use it when he wasn't at home. As it was all so new to me - not only h2g2, but the whhole internet and PC stuff, I told him about it, tried to get him interested - and never managed. Well, that was what i thought anyway, until, one day I caught him reading m,y conversation with Venus - secretly.
Froam that day on, I was extremely careful with what I said, a<t least for a while. I've relaxed till then, but after all, I can never be sure. Pity is, that when I had written my very first entry, about the Ebbelwei Express, all his reactions were so neagtive. I asked him for a photo, and he said I couldn't have it, I'd have to ask the Stadtwerke for permission to publish a photo he had taken. And he just blocked me when I wanted to tell him abouit the entry. I have never again tried to talk to him about this. He has no idea what an ACE is, or a sub -editor, or a scout, and if he knew, he'd just say I should spend my time doing housework.

Aha, the manuals should be twinned, like they do with little villages and towns.

I could say 'My manual is twinned with the Frankfurt Edition' you could say yours is twinned with Belfast.


My manual would expects me to do housework too, his mother raised 5 kids with impeccable floors you could eat off and dust free surfaces, but I can't manage one little cottage, one child, one cat and one dog.

If he did read anything I'd written he'd say .... 'you should have put ......., I'd have said ........ that's doesn't really add anything to the story ..... it's okay - but .....'

He can't even believe I've been given a sort of managers post in work, and that I'd be smart enough to do it. So that's sort of another no-go conversation point with us.

I think it's a pity that our manuals just can't be proud of our achievements (especially yours ), or just be happy with us when we are happy. When I went to a London meet for the first time, I booked the flights first, then told the manual. I just knew, had I told him before, I'd never have gone. They should be ashamed for their petty behaviour.