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Apparently, I am not a "real" Satanist. Why? Because I dont live up to the mainstreams FACILE expectations of something they know jack about. According to popular belief, a Satanist MUST adhere to these rules :
!) A Satanist must wear black at ALL times.
2) You must sell your soul to Satan, worship him, sacrifice animals and occasionally the odd child, and generally have that psychopathic tendancy!
3) You must never attempt to be polite, deviate from Judeo-Christian mythology, or intellectual in anyway...
4) A Satanist can NEVER be logical, rational, or base their life on realistic, responsible guidelines...

So, of course! Im no Satanist...the books, the study of the figure of Satan, the intellectualism, the individualism the psychology, the means nothing, because THEY CANT LAUGH AT IT.

What? Am I supposed to apologise because I dont entertain you all? Because I dont conform to YOUR standards? PAH.


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Latest reply: Feb 2, 2002


The day after the night before is always icky...cant be bothered to deal with college today...too phlegmy.
Right then. Last night, went to the sign of The Boy...but I did see his sister's boyfriend so asked him to pass on a message...what was eerie about last night, was the past seemed to come back and haunt me...the manky girl I got off with 2 New Years ago, an old crush (who was an indie fan at a metal night...eerie) and my two favorite people from old school...eeeeeerie. I didnt do too badly though. Danced, got sweaty, talked to a few people, exchanged bracelets with two boys.

It was weird. I got chatting to this bloke...same age as me...who is married, but honestly had an open relationship. Met his wife! They only got married to do the Nasty in her parents house. She sees others, he sees others, but they still like each other!? Weird. I played around with him for a while, despite my coughing...I mean, The Boy wasnt there smiley - sadface so might as well make the most of it. Did feel slightly guilty though. Silly me, eh? I seem to be quite successful in my pulling techniques. He was OK. Bit S&M, so that was good *hehe* but I still would have rather been with The Boy...

Afterwards...eugh...the reason why I DONT like the people at college came back to smack me in the face...being ignored, having to go find a taxi on my own at 3am, amongst drunken trendies, me wearing my black trenchcoat+generally looking weird...luckily I got a good taxi smiley - smiley

Time for X-files.

Coughing still. Its not raining...I think...very windy and grey...anybody think I should go to college? Nah...

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Latest reply: Feb 1, 2002

STILL raining...

Yes, the skies have cracked upon and puked on Bristol. Going out the Mandrake...kinda hoping to see the Boy again...but if all does not go to plan, there is always the dance floor!

Albums of today : NIN "Pretty Hate Machine" & EP "Broken"
Book : "One flew over the Cuckoo's nest"...bought it secondhand for 50p...BARGAIN!

In the words of Pinkee....NARK!

smiley - smiley

Discuss this Journal entry [8]

Latest reply: Jan 31, 2002


So I crawl out of bed at 7:51am, painfully get dressed, get washed and get out of the house. Get into college and sit around alone, because no ones in...Kris turns up...go to class. Learn about Theories of Aggression. EGAD! I hate the Social Behaviourist perspective. Its . But Im back home now, not being able to face an afternoon of being in a room with dumb-assed bimbo's and my Critical Thinking teacher PLUS feeling this ill...
I want to go out tomorrow night...see the boy again...but I cant find anyone who will come with me. Im NOT going on my own. Scary...

Albums of today : System of a Down (1st one) and Hole's "Live Through This"...its raining here and the first four inches of my jeans are soaked...and my red stripy socks! Argh! I should do some sort of college work...have to present an argument on something on Friday...yeh, THIS Friday, and I cant think of what to write! Dilemma...

Getting my new SIM card soon...WOOHOO! Socialites here I come...

Its just GREY here. Grey and cold and soaked through.

smiley - sadface

But Im nice and warm...

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Latest reply: Jan 30, 2002


Still ill. Drinking hot orange squash and watching day time TV...occasionally having a wander around here...boring boring boring...

*Don't drink that! Theres a fish in the perculator!!*
- Twin Peaks.

David Lynch. Fine director.

*Dick Morante is dead.*
- Lost Highway.
Ill tell you all something...great soundtrack for that film...

Discuss this Journal entry [3]

Latest reply: Jan 29, 2002

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