Journal Entries


Oh DAMN...Im so happy.

Apologies to Njan and anyone else who I havent replied to...having a few glitches this end...nothing personal smiley - smiley you are all great company...

Happy happy happy.

I like someone. And he likes me!!! The Boy likes me!!!!!! Asked if we could go do something.

Ah. Happy!!!!

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Latest reply: Feb 9, 2002


TIRED but content. Raining some weird washed out painting. Humid.

I bought 4 books yesterday :
Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" - which Im still reading. It is fantastic so far. Absolutely fantastic.
"The Holy Koran" - seeing as it was £2.99 I figured 'why not' and it's proved just as identical and boring as the Bible. Yawn yawn yawn. Will perserve.
Eric -something-or-other's`"Mall" - Well written, well developed. Will be looking up more of his work. Too tired to go and find out his second name.
Rudyard Kipling's "Just So Stories" - one of the only good things about my childhood.

I am the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me.

Best creation, best quote smiley - smiley

The Boy likes me! I like The Boy!
Lets see what happens...

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Latest reply: Feb 8, 2002


Busy busy busy...

Today was a bore. Behavioural Therapy + Aggression in the morning (2 hrs) and Critical Thinking (3 hrs!!) and a loooong bus ride home.

Almost got kicked in the street by this addidas wearing brat. I believe he shouted abuse too, but having NIN on full blast I simply turned round, gave him the finger and kept on walking. THATS the least I get...and Im relatively normal compared to my one-side-bleach-blonde-other-side-black-hair look...and Ive had glass thrown in my face too...punched, kicked, spat on...I hate people sometimes.

Going to visit my friends in my old skools 6th form I'll probably get the same...its worth it though to see Lou&Hel...good people they are...
Why is it that people feel the need to attack people? I should know really...Im supposed to be learning about it. Its just...just because I wear clothes that are a deviation from the norm, behave differently, have a different lifestyle...does that mean to say violence against me is justified...god knows...I had enough of it as a kid.


I am thinking of getting wooly hair for a and white wooly hair...cant dye it at the moment. My poor hair is knackered.


Cold here in Bristol.
My cough is going...smiley - smiley

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Latest reply: Feb 6, 2002


Just returned home via the soggy streets of Bristol from seeing Rachel Stamp and Halo. When we left the Fleece...there was one flash of lightening and a crack of thunder and then...nothing. Just light rain. Weird.

Very good gig. Robin as mad and cute as ever, David seemed less stuck up, Shaheena gorgeous but with a hat that made her look like Dot Cotton (?) and Will (who we were practically stood UNDER) STILL looks like Billy Corgan. Shaheena kinda looked like a porcelian doll...all cold and set in one position.

Poetry poetry poetry. Should write tonight...spent 15 minutes just speaking to myself amidst terraced crumbling houses and slick streets and a night sky peppered with those stars...the sky is so HUGE where I live. Its bigger in this place called Cam...just all consuming. As if you have to be careful not to get pulled away by the a faerie dance and then disappear for ever. I nearly disappeared there once...

Halo are gonna be big...keep an eye out folks. Their single "Cold Light of Day" is out on Feb 4th...

Duct tape, wires, feather boas, leather, lace and hairdye.

Kiss and kill me sweetly...

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Latest reply: Feb 4, 2002


Apparently, I am not a "real" Satanist. Why? Because I dont live up to the mainstreams FACILE expectations of something they know jack about. According to popular belief, a Satanist MUST adhere to these rules :
!) A Satanist must wear black at ALL times.
2) You must sell your soul to Satan, worship him, sacrifice animals and occasionally the odd child, and generally have that psychopathic tendancy!
3) You must never attempt to be polite, deviate from Judeo-Christian mythology, or intellectual in anyway...
4) A Satanist can NEVER be logical, rational, or base their life on realistic, responsible guidelines...

So, of course! Im no Satanist...the books, the study of the figure of Satan, the intellectualism, the individualism the psychology, the means nothing, because THEY CANT LAUGH AT IT.

What? Am I supposed to apologise because I dont entertain you all? Because I dont conform to YOUR standards? PAH.


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Latest reply: Feb 2, 2002

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