Ripper, the Almost

The page has been updated!!! (again!!!)

Who are you?

I am:
  • Ripper, the Almost
  • H2G2 smiley - thepost Reporter (and I have the badge to prove it) (smiley - cheers Mina! smiley - biggrin!)
  • A Thingite, specifically, the Veteran Soditite Specialist and Navigator of High Speed Inanimate Objects (Including but not limited to Walls and Bus Stops)
  • Keeper of Rice Pudding
  • Professor of Apostrophology and Associated Punctuation (abbreviated to Prof of ', ? and !) at the University of Mice
  • A Royal H2G2 Procrastinator (even though I haven't got around to joining)
I'd also like to draw attention to the following: 42-isms (-1+8)*(9-0!-0!-0!) = 42 (ta Argon0) on good days, and
(1+8)*(9-0!-0!-0!) = 42 on other days... Next To The Custard My main venture on h2g2 has been Next to the Custard, which I started co-writing with friend MaW. It began (as an idea) on October 3rd 2002; appropriately its finale has been published now in the Post on October 2nd, 2003. Rumour has it there may be a sequel, but I wouldn't trust rumours if I was you...
While I'm promoting my own work, I suggest you read Future Prefect and Only Slightly, MaW's own stories, which I also think are very good. H2G2 Researcher Code v1.1 This can be found here if you wanna know what it means or find out more...
RGB Y N+ SB A>+ P--:- L++ M s>+ V++ E- p+++ B TV+ r D T nh C+ m+ t
-----END H2G2 CODE BLOCK-----

IRL I am a PhD student at The University of Nottingham. I study Computer Science. I am 22 and come originally from near Manchester. I like the colour green. A lot. More than blue.
Anyone reading the underlined subheaders I've strewn about the place may like to note they're the four important questions from Babylon 5, a series I enjoy a lot. Just to show I've put some thought into all this...

What do you want?

I want to write a few Guide Entries on topics which appear to be missing from the Guide, but those will remain nameless a) so you can't copy them off me and post them first, and b) so I'm not actually committing myself to writing them. I have more than enough to write as it is.1

Why are you here?

Because it's fun. Because although I know the answer (42) I don't yet know the question. Because elephants have got four legs (usually). Because it's all MaW's fault, blame him.

Where are you going?

I'm not sure yet. I can tell you where I've been though - I was at the nodnoL Winter Meet 2003! I really enjoyed it, and I met a lot of people who probably hadn't heard of me beforehand, but may be checking this page out at some point to find out who I was...
  • To the italics: it was great! thank you v. much!
  • To Very Important Princess: my woolly jumper thanks you for your persistent attention, I will find out where you can get one of your own, I much appreciated your stroking it and encouraging others to do so. I also found it terribly amusing. smiley - hug VIP.
  • To Pastey, Njan, Nyssa and the Guy in the Brown Hat (I think), among others (possibly), who were the people VIP encouraged...
  • To Croz, who took pictures of it, which will probably appear on a Caption Contest smiley - biggrin.
  • To Zak the Duck, who was kidnapped and officially held for ransom during the meet. Croz wore a "Have you seen this duck?" name-badge for several hours... I was impressed by his practicality. (Was Zak found?)
  • To Dragonfly, who thought it terribly amusing to show Croz the remains of two chicken drumsticks which I'd eaten, and proclaim they were Zak's remains. Otherwise she seemed caring and friendly enough.
  • To Tube, Naark, Andrew and umm... apologies, I can't remember your name: aka my pub-quiz team, which I also can't remember the name of...: did we win?
  • To Shazz: Nice to meet you!
  • To Lifson Kofie and Increase Mathers, Shrubber of Pelamar, who respectively didn't stab me with her spork, and who lent me blue-tac for my impromptu name-badge. I signed Lifson's towel, and much later thought for a while on something she said: that on the way to the second pub, unsure precisely of where we were going and unable to see other hootooers to guide us, she pointed out she was walking around a strange city with a bunch of strangers and not worrying about it. Which was true, in a sense. Cheers Lifson.
Anyway, that's about it. Feel free to drop by. I may have chocolate digestives from time to time (Milk chocolate, although I think white chocolate might be a good idea).
In the meantime, watch this space... any space... or just watch space.

Ripper, the Almost

1Currently in progress: several novels, a series of short stories, a few one-offs, two research papers, the sequel to Next to the Custard, plus a few more ideas in developing stages.


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