h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

look I just want to know when we can get on with destroying the south west. My idea is to wait for sunday when most of devon and somerset will be in london marching on Parliament square(and being held back by Ken livingstone and a whole squad of newts on bikes) to tell the townies that huntin'shootin'and fishin'are part of their way of life just like car-jacking ,smoking crack and collecting the pensions of dead people is part of urban culture, and then we could slash and burn and pillage to our little hearts content. What say you to that good sire

i commend these acts so long as they be followed shortly by mindless violence on behalf of the nation.

Where were you then? I set off at the crack of dawn with my copy of 'Ye guyde to ye most frightfull townes and hideous hamlets in ye southe weste '(£2.99, from all right thinking branches of Dillons and Waterstones) and my 49p mini lighter and found myself alone and unaided in the deserted centre of Yeovil . (Now theres a place that could do with some gutting and/or razing to the ground).

You simply cannot allow this thing they laughingly call school and their all important geecee-essees to get in the way of the real work in hand .U owe it to future generations to destroy these soul numbing semi-rural cultural wastelands.how can your entire future career prospects not to mention your chance of 'going ' to Uni. come before this noble cause? 'Death and Glory-and Spurs to win at least a few games this season'. let this be our rallying cry. Yours futilely

I will make it perfectly clear right now that i have done my fair share of pillaging and razing, but at recent i have found myself temporarily bogged down in homework and coursework, therefore i shall direct my minions (thats you by the way) from right here, but, for now, fetch me my ceremonial pitchfork, im off to poke a cow