This is the Message Centre for Pinniped

Hi

Post 1

Sitting on the stair

This is awkward - I did think you knew, hound and sheep do. I don't like talking to people from two places without them knowing - unless it's just fun stuff.

I needed somewhere to post that, for among other not necessarily good reasons, every Tom, Dick, Harriet and Pete in the village wouldn't read should they find, as they've done in the past, (that's what comes of living in and writing about small villages), the other account and, as they did before, work out who I was. I'm sometimes ok and sometimes very unsure of what I've written here. Often seems self indulgent stuff but I keep it and keep doing it.

There is a clue on the homespace, for any true researcher and non-skim reader you know...


Hi

Post 2

Pinniped


I can see the clue, now I've picked myself up (maths at heart, somebody once said. When I claimed not to skim-read, I wasn't referring to telephone directories...)

Sorry here too - to go with the sorry elsewhere. Hence the delay. That and the fact that I'm speechless, with contrition as well as surprise.

Like I asked but you didn't hear - do you want to hear more of what I nearly said in AWW?


Hi

Post 3

Sitting on the stair

Heard, answered (no sorry needed that I can see) and yes. Though I need smiley - zzz pretty shortly. All this signing in and out is befuddling. Befuddles the 'my conversations' too.

It's easier here, connections from here to there don't matter.

"wasn't referring to telephone directories" hmph.


Hi

Post 4

Pinniped


Damn. We're in antiphase.


Hi

Post 5

Sitting on the stair

Hey, too tired to sign out and in again.

Re last post - you're kidding! No, course you're not. If I had any hand in you writing that I don't know what to say. That means an enormous amount.

My nephew has Wolfe's syndrome Pin. Your Alex reminded me so much of him. I did actually post to the original piece. But I tried to word it so you wouldn't feel any need to reply so I assumed I'd succeeded. That letter was some kind of closure for you, as it should be.

I didn't see Flame's first version no.


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Post 6

Sitting on the stair

Not if you'll stay put.


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Post 7

Pinniped


I'm put. More in a minute or two.


Hi

Post 8

Pinniped


Wolf-Hirschorn, yeah? Alex had Angelman Syndrome, so I wasn't right, though there are parallels.

You did help in a big way. Part of it was written for his funeral, jointly by Caro and me, but not the "shell" bit, of course. The need to tell it properly, in a way that might help others, that was inspired in large part by those poems.

I'll tell you about Flame's first version some other time, maybe.


Hi

Post 9

Sitting on the stair

That's it, yes. Never remember how to spell it. Parallels, but different in that we knew well before he was born and he's so slow to grow that, at fifteen, I can carry him upstairs which is such a saving grace.

Oh Pin. smiley - hug

One other big difference here, I'm an aunt not a parent. In Seven Years On you said one of Alex's parting gifts was to give you your lives back. I'll talk as much as you want about this, about J, about your Alex but I don't want to pull you back there. Nor for this to take over what we talk about.

Those poems were me getting some of the thoughts, some of the feelings, even some anger out of my head. They worked, and I might try that again. As J does grow, as we all get older other issues start to come up.

One more thing I'll say now. I haven't had the courage to show my sister these. Perhaps I will find that now.



Flame's piece later, agreed.


Hi

Post 10

Pinniped


The other poems...
Apart from the fact that it seems so obvious now, I'm intrigued to know why you hid them away. They're too good to hide. And too free in spirit to be hidden.

But maybe we should talk another time. This is too late for all but sheep. I'll look out for a few more minutes, then it's smiley - zzz - OK?


Hi

Post 11

Sitting on the stair

Another time yes, or I'll fall asleep on the keyboard.

I've been learning how to write, haven't you realised? If they're any good it's the result of this site making me put things into words in the first place and seeing how people, Walter of Colne, Pan, Frogbit, you, MT, boots among those in particular, use words to communicate, show feelings, pictures...I learnt a tremendous amount taking part in the N-SS. (I didn't need to recue Pingu after all.)

Goodnight Pin, sleep well.


Hi

Post 12

Pinniped


Simulpost, predictably.

Pull me back? We're seeing things differently again. There's nothing to fear in going back, and no difficulty in walking away again. It won't be a conversation-stopper, anyway.

Plenty of time for it later, too.

G'night, Christopher Robin

Pin (I remembered who you weren't just before I Posted)


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 13

Sitting on the stair

That last post wasn't clear. I was trying to say I don't know what they are because this is new and I'm learning as I go along. What they are now's not what they were three, six, twelve months ago. I doubt any of it was fit for reading to begin with. I don't know where they're going. So there's one reason for them being here.

There's others. They all boil down to lack of confidence though. Not just in the pieces but in the idea of me 'writing poetry'.

The Posts in Posts aren't just telegraph posts, they're also people who live like that. I have Post tendencies, I became one for a while. Posts don't sit on stairs and wouldn't want to own up to writing poetry smiley - erm.

Btw the 'Don't ask his age' poem was the first and the first since junior school. Nearly three years ago I got wound up thinking while driving to work and at lunchbreak at the office, started writing out lines on scrap paper in some attempt to get it out of my head. Hid it under the keyboard when the boss came in. It was just what's in the first four verses then. It's true journal poetry that one. Just history to the history of your Seven Years On. I still can't credit that these have a connection to that.

I read it again earlier. Point taken about pulling you back. Sorry about that. It was just that I had a quick look at the website for Wolf-Hirschorn because I never remember the H bit, and Angelman's and it was a bit overwhelming. J is just J. He's not a list of all those consequences of a bit of missing chromosome. And I could see the ways in which what hurt you and yours were different and it got a bit too much. I felt you'd moved on from all this and should stay moved on. But that's not what you're saying in Seven Years and I'll respect your words on that.

PartPost (still not over what Orchid did in the N-SS)


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 14

Pinniped


What do you want me to say, I wonder?
OK, the poems. Of the "Three for a Boy", I recognise the sentiments of all, but the 'Boyo' one is the one I enjoy. The other two express ideas I think I've moved on from. 'Boyo' almost could be Alex, as I remember him.
"Posts" is probably the best. It depends what you're doing it for, of course. It depends whether you're trying to inform or entertain, and it depends too on whether the recipient is intended to be your reader or yourself.
But I don't intend to be preachy/teachy, about writing or about caring. If you want crit, or sympathetic listening, just ask. But my first instinct is that h2g2 is a place for escape and undemanding friendship.


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 15

Sitting on the stair

Thanks Pin, and escape and undemanding friendship sounds good to me.


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 16

Sitting on the stair

Wanted to post before disappearing for a week.

As an exercise in drawing lines that was a spectacular failure, for now anyway. It stirred everything up. Or perhaps a feeling I had of change coming did that and that's what prompted the line drawing. I don't know. But anyway it's all helped to break a silence I felt was growing and to talk to my sister last weekend. About various things - told about the poems too.

N said much as you did, the might have beens are in the past and she might send the So Boyo one to the Wolf Hwhateveritis group newsletter because she's fed up of the schmaltz (Is there a correct spelling of that? I got told off last week for spelling l8r with an e!) they sometimes print.

It's always hard to bring up the difficult things when whenever I'm with N and J etc there's a feeling of wanting it to be as fun a time as possible. It's so easy to choose to leave it for another time. Some of what you've said helped in not doing that last weekend. And that was a Good Thing (to use your kind capitals).

Well, heading off North now. Which is also a Good Thing.

(I once, while in a perfectly happy frame of mind, found myself in tears after reaching a T junction with a major road in Yorkshire and having to turn right and South. As I was on my own I let it happen, it lasted half an hour - quite ridiculous. An hour and half later, coming in through my front door I had the usual Great to be Home (it's catching) feeling. Ridiculous.)

Take care and good luck with those Room 101s, particularly the beer smiley - winkeye (At least the Post wasn't completely unPinned this week. Btw, the Billibrazil entry in the CAC C this week is a gem I think. Made me laugh out loud twice anyway. It's neat and somehow a bit...wistful, is the best word I can find right now.)

...off the stair and headed N...

PS Wish I'd managed to break the silence on that bus last week but I haven't been in the right frame of mind for any inspiration for it and for dealing with 007s.

PPS Will definitely, rain or shine or both, be visiting Forvie.


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 17

Pinniped


Hope you have/had a nice time.
See you soon!
Pinsmiley - smiley


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 18

Sitting on the stair

I did smiley - smiley, including two whole days at Forvie.

I found the ancient midden this time. I'm now the proud possesser of three thrown away mussel and one cockle shell. Thrown away by a late iron age or early bronze age persons smiley - bigeyes.


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 19

Sitting on the stair

PS Ben has been delving and put some of the entries from here in the AWW, which saves me making the decisions on what to do with them.


Hmm, better than Kermit's nephew I suppose.

Post 20

Pinniped


Yeah, I noticed, and I'm pleased.
She know?
I thought about doing the same thing. I knew for myself that their quality was real and that I wasn't being influenced by sentiment, but I still didn't because the motivation-messages would've looked wrong to outsiders. You in particular.
They deserve to be in AWW, though. In as much as anything fine does!
Maybe those shells in a midden have some kind of pearls/swine echoes.
See you soon, KS
Pin


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