h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... disheveled, unwashed, stripped of her ace badge and is that whisky we can smell on her breath?*

I was his muse you know! Oh yes, I knew him when he was nowt more than a pup, scribbling in his journal, shyly approaching people for their opinions with an eager look on his poor little face. I desert him like the fickle cruel muse I am, and when I come back I find out everyone has been saying 'ooh, you're so talented, Mr Pinniped, ooh, you're so clever, would you like to be in the Post, Mr Pinniped? Would you like to lead us on a great quest, Mr Pinniped?' Doesn't need me now, does he? Better off without me, isn't he?

Must dash, I'm appearing in a Channel five documentary 'When Muses Turn A Bit Unreasonable.'

Oh, wow! ...You came back!

Way !!!

Hey Look, the Shrine's still here, still with a Front Page link (OK, so it's a bit near the bottom). You're so-o not forgotten...
...Main problem is...I kinda lost Lion
...Have you seen him?

Hey, I couldn't find it in the TV schedules, this thing you're on. Still, never mind. It'll be on again, right? Hey...you're the second big surprise this weekend. I heard last night that my DAD's a Researcher out there somewhere! How cool is that?...
...No? Yeah, well I'm not too sure about it either...

But anyway, you're more important. What you been doing? How's textile design? How's Scawtlund? Oh ! Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Hey everyone! Knitbunny came back!!!

P.
(...you haven't got any on you, have you?)

Knitbunny, Knibunny, where have you been?

"I've been to London to see the Queen."

Knitbunny, Knitbunny, what did you wear?

"I wore a grapefruit in my hair."

Did the gentlemen in the red uniforms refuse you entry?

"Yes."

thought so.

Aw, such a welcome! I missed you! I can't believe I stayed away for so long. Funny thing is, now that they've taken my Ace badge away I feel a lot happier - responsibility and I never seem to work out somehow. Now I'll be able to concentrate on the important things - guide entries and my friends

Your dad's a researcher? Seriously? That IS cool I got my mum to join but she just read all my conversations and journal entries, laughed herself silly then never came back .

And I've not seen Lion either. Still, I'm sure he's happy, where ever he is. 'Scawtlund's just the same as ever but about to get a whole lot better next month when the Edinburgh Festival kicks off. This year I may even go see a couple of shows instead of just gawping at street performers (I may be the only person in the world who actually likes mime artists and jugglers on stilts). And textile design is still my first love (two A's, a B and a C last term) if I get round to it I'm gonna put some scans of my work in an on-line album, which should be interesting if you're the sort of person who gets excited by weave structures and paintings of rhinos. Yeah, that would be just me, wouldn't it?

It's so good to be back!
knitbunnyxxx


Oops, forgetting my manners, aren't I? Here -

Hurrah!

There aren't enough of us Fifers around. Despite the rumour that I'm 'nae fae Fiiife!'

Yay! Fifers of the world unite and take over!

Wha says yur nae fae Fife, Doctor Gonzo? (Actually, since I've been away at uni and lost my accent a bit, everytime I come home I get lots of suspicious looks and hear mutterings of 'she's not local')

"Yay! Fifers of the world unite and take over!"

|MARS>

Sorry Zagreb, but us Fifers will not rest until we have conquered the ENTIRE UNIVERSE! MWAH HAH HAH HAAAAAH!

We've already conquered Economics (Adam Smith), and Popular Art (Jack Vettriano).

What next?

"Sorry Zagreb, but us Fifers will not rest until we have conquered the ENTIRE UNIVERSE! MWAH HAH HAH HAAAAAH!"

tsk, the Daleks will stop you

Well, our assault on popular music (The Proclaimers) was a dismal failure so it's probably best not to get too complacent. The daleks will stop us? Since when did the daleks have the universe's best interests at heart?

Hey, don't forget Sir Jimmy Shand. Or Nazareth.

Actually, maybe it's best to forget...

"Since when did the daleks have the universe's best interests at heart?"

Not so much "best interests" as same aims!

- exterminate! - exterminate!

- Oh no, it's thu daleks, like.

- retreat! - Ah wud wolk five-hundrud myuls!

Pah, we're not scared of Daleks! They wouldn't last five minutes against a load of wee neds from Kennoway!

Or, indeed, the proclaimers. (actually, there was something a bit inhuman and production line about the speccy-brothers - another of davros's evil schemes? We absolve ourselves of any blame for them!)

I would like to point out at this point that I am not a ned from Kennoway. I am from *Bonnybank*.

Oooh, get you! *wiggles fingers under chin and puts on silly voice* 'I'm not a ned from Kennoway, I'm from Booooonnybaaaank'

I thought it was from Methilhill originally? Don't worry, your shameful secret is safe with me

- To Skaro!

That didn't really work like I thought it would. Bah!