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Post 1

Phred Firecloud

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284

Often misquoted by changing "the past" to "history". I'd never diddle Santayana.


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Post 2

Pinniped


Touche. I'll check in future. I was sure it was 'history', but you're clearly right.

The wisest mind has something yet to learn, I guesssmiley - winkeye

Now - are we going to put the original title back?

Pinsmiley - smiley


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Post 3

Phred Firecloud

Well...it was originally a story of just my own little memories. But as I worked on it, I remembered telling most of these stories to my cousin Danny and listening to his just before a fishing trip. So it seemed like it worked on a couple of levels to change the story stucture and put it into the context of a couple of old cousins, rocking on the porch, and dragging up old memories from the deep. I like the new title a lot better.


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Post 4

Pinniped


I guessed that was the gist.
The trouble with that title (and with the last paragraph), is you're making the fishing trip more important than the action.
From the reader's point of view (well, OK, this reader anyway) the porch-rocking gives the piece contrast and context, but the war is still what interests us.
My smiley - 2cents FWIW


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Post 5

Phred Firecloud

Here! Take this and show it to the sheep.

http://www.geocities.com/bobdougherty2003/seals.html?1127074606859

Tell you what. You polish it and you can call it whatever you want and even delete the last paragraph.


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Post 6

Pinniped


Hey, Phred

The UG is not about to change your writing without your agreement. Personal narrative, even more than other genres, is not improved by other people's reinterpretation.

More discussion if you want is better through the Yahoo group.

(I don't think I know those girls. They look a bit skinny to me)

Pinsmiley - erm


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Post 7

Phred Firecloud

Ok...I didn't want to bring up the Santayana thing there. I will discuss your suggestion with whoever volunteers to polish it...problem is I really don't like the original title, but I fully understand your point...maybe another third title.


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Post 8

Phred Firecloud

Title changed to "A Navigator's Log". Thanks for the input. You're a talented writer and this is my first ever fiction piece. Maybe more later. I thought those girls were kind of cute, almost mermaid-like, unless your taste runs to sheep.


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Post 9

Phred Firecloud

Footnotes added to original sources of both Santayana quotes. Thanks for your help.


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Post 10

Pinniped


I don't do sheep.

smiley - yuk

Or mermaids, for that matter. I only ever met one half-human fish, and he didn't do sheep either.

It's a fine piece of writing, Phred. Keep at it. You've got a following here.

Pinsmiley - smiley


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