This is the Message Centre for Danny B

A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 1

aka Bel - A87832164

Hello Danny, I've prepared your excellent story for its spot on the FP.

There were just very few typos I corrected, but I have a couple of questions (or three):

1) The title. Correct spelling would be Devilish (one l). Do you want to keep your spelling?

2) This sentence:

>>Or, in plain English, he was hit on the back of the head until he was killed.<<

To me, it implies that he was first hit and then killed. Do you think plain English would be 'hit until he was dead'? I know the result is the same, but (at least to me) the implication is different. It may be only me, though. Let me know what you think.

3) >>>"I hope you're going to include me in these memoirs," asked Mackrell as they walked down the corridor<<

It's not really a question, should it maybe either have a question mark, or possibly be: 'said' instead of 'asked'?

I've haven't altered any of the above (except for the title, but I can easily change that back), your call.

Your story is here:

A53919606

Bel





A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 2

aka Bel - A87832164

smiley - boing

smiley - biggrin


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 3

Danny B

Arg - sorry Bel! I read this then forgot about it... smiley - sorry

Let's see...

Point 1)

Change of title is fine (and thanks for pointing that out smiley - ok)

smiley - biro

Point 2)

Hmm... I know what you mean, but 'dead' doesn't have a double letter! It's a little bit awkward ('dead' would be more normal), but I'd rather keep it smiley - smiley

smiley - biro

Point 3)

Changing the comma after 'memoirs' into a question mark should fix it, I think.

smiley - biro

smiley - cheers


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 4

aka Bel - A87832164

Oh, yes, I forgot about the double letter. smiley - biggrin

OK, question mark put and off it goes then.

See this on the FP soon, I hope. smiley - smiley

Don't forget to subscribe to your story.


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 5

Danny B

Subscribed! smiley - ok


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 6

aka Bel - A87832164

Good. Now all you have to do is to write a few more stories like that. smiley - winkeye


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 7

Danny B

That depends on a) what the last Stretcher challenge is; and b) if I make it through to the last round smiley - yikes


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 8

aka Bel - A87832164

I can't answer either, but why do you confine yourself to Stretcher challenges and whether or not you'll make the final round?

I wasn't in the Stretcher in the first place, yet I took up the ideas, and have started writing unrelated things even: A53733279


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 9

Danny B

It's all to do with motivation. I used to write a lot, but having been a full-time (medical) writer for the last 9 years, the desire to spend my spare time writing as well just isn't there. I entered the Stretcher to see if it would help to motivate me, and I'll see the competition through to its end, but I still have no particular impetus or inspiration to write anything else.


A Devilish UG Gem Polisher calling in

Post 10

aka Bel - A87832164

Yes, I understand that (I think smiley - biggrin).

I never had any intention to write but found it is quite fun. But then I don't have to write anything, so that's very different.
Still, I'm always amazed at just how many people on here want to write a book. I'm already glad when I manage to write something that contains more then 300 words. smiley - laugh


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