h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As I'm one of those insufferable people who like to tell people my dreams, I thought I'd pick (on) you as an audience this time, because last night I dreamed about you.

Well, I dreamed that you were a professional photographer and I was a cack-handed technician-in-training. You gave me precise instructions on how to develop your pictures, and told me I *must not* touch any of an array of crystals and mushrooms, or I'd cock up the development process. Of course, when you'd left the room, I managed to accidentally move every single one of the damn things, thus ruining a whole reel of film. When you returned, you were understandably upset about this, and you told me to take some more photos on your behalf, and develop them *properly* this time. I tried *really* hard to get it right: I worked far into the night, painstakingly developing a new series of my own photos for you.

But when the pictures came out, they weren't of the things I'd photographed: they were of me, naked but for a viking helmet, posing in a series of excruciatingly embarrassing positions.

Well what can one say to that?!

I met my husband whilst doing Viking re-enactment, I wondered whether you could have read that somewhere?

There has to be an excuse for dreams like that!

I don't consciously remember reading that, but it would certainly explain the viking helmet.

I loved your pics, by the way, especially the mushrooms. I found some really interesting-looking puffballs in my garden today, and I'm toying with the idea of getting my camera out and doing a Kaz.

I photographed some white mushrooms, and they don't come out that well. I hav been recommended a grey filter which is good for white objects. Havn't bought it yet though, I must and see what difference it makes.

Would the grey filter be for a black and white film?

I haven't quite mustered up the courage to use my camera yet. I've stood there and sort of looked at it, but it's a posh Minolta and I can't remember how to work it. I may have to resort to actually reading the instructions. And of course, there's the worry that when the film is developed it'll depict me in that scary helmet....

My puffballs are a mottled golden brown. They look fresh out of the oven.

Yesterday, removing the outer leaves from a cauliflower, I was struck by the fractal whorls formed by the tightly-packed florets. I bet a grey filter would really pick out the details on something like that.

Anyway, I chopped it up and bunged it in a soup, but I'm bearing photography in mind for future cauliflowers.

(Procrastinate, procrastinate....)

Hi disgusting name!

There is a great species of cauliflower which is green and looks very fractal indeed, I wonder whether that is the one you had?

The grey filter is for colour photographs, it brings the extremes of colour closer together so the white isn't 'whited out'. I must get one and have a go myself, I have a white gerbil to practise on, most of her photos don't come out, as its difficult to focus on white, so I can let you how it goes.

"Hi disgusting name!"

Why, thank you. It's a seasonal thing. (Blame Vix and Blackberry Cat.)

My cauliflower was white--I've never seen a green one. They sound very strange.

http://www.fotothing.com/photos/206/206e7d408ba5c1582961b5daae78c656.jpg

http://www.parkseed.com/product_images/5064.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/110/262315863_726b9949cb_m.jpg

Wow! That's really amazing! Great photos, too.

Is it for eating, or ornamental use?