h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*checks to see that Wile E. is well and truly asleep before waving off and retinue*

Hello Wile E.!

Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I'm just hoping you don't carry on through the day with all the charm of a zombie at your w*rkplace.*shudders*

The disastrous final dress rehearsal did indeed ensure a most spendid offering of inspired baroque music performance last night. The first piece was Bach's 'Nun komm, der Heiden Heiland' an advent cantata sung by a local professional choral group and soloists(that's where I came in) and filled the acoustically perfect hall with lovely textured sound. Then the baroque orchestra played Corelli's Christmas Concerto(Concerto Grosso in G minor) beautifully and enchantingly(I grinned like an idiot through the whole thing).After the interval, the Bach Magnificat came up. It was an inspired and artistically impassioned performance utilising the very best of all the musician's gifts and abilities. I felt like I was inhabiting the music fully and pretty much surrendered to the moment. I was caught up in the joy of it all! All of the musicians acknowledged that something magic was happening and I believe the audience was very much aware of how special this something was.
At the conclusion there was a stunned silence and then 5 standing ovations followed. We soloists gave a surprise a cappella encore of Franz Biebl's 'Ave Maria'. The lullabye effect of the song sent the audience out on their way to their homes in a peaceful and joyful mood.
It was a lovely musical experience all in all!

My stay at this hotel definitely lived up to my expectations.
http://www.fairmont.com/seattle/?cm_mmc=icp

The museum was amazing ! I'll need to go back to explore further. There was an eclectic mix of Northwest American Indian art and artifacts, European, African , Aboriginal, Asian arts...and I bought some lovely Christmas s at the museum shop:iridescent blown glass decorations , amber and murano glass jewelry and hard to find art books.

I'd better unpack my luggage now.
I'll talk with you tomorrow... if you're not still too immersed in the living dead mode.

See you soon!

*stumbles in, knocking over a plant pot and moaning incomprehensibly*



*collapses melodramatically to the floor*

I’m so tired! You’ll be glad to know that I’ll be having an early night, tonight.

Monday’s always my busiest day at work, but I really couldn’t be bothered with it, so I left all the paperwork for tomorrow. I took it upon myself to decorate the office instead, with a huge box of twenty year old decorations. As a token of my displeasure with my colleagues, I decided to make it as tacky and claustrophobic as possible! I’m pleased to report that I succeeded on both counts.

No one above about 5’7 can get from one side to the other without ducking! To keep everyone on their toes, I hung a star above everyone’s head. Of course, I made sure they were securely stuck to the ceiling.

All day long, people have been wandering in saying, “How the can you work in this?”

It sounds like the performance was fantastic; I’m really happy for you. A lovely tribute to your friend. I’ve only been involved in a few musical performances of any kind. All were fun, but pretty shabby. I’d love to part of something as as that. It’s good that you didn’t set the other musicians off giggling this time!

That hotel looks very plush indeed. Steal anything nice from your room? Did you find time to look around Seattle?

I’m going to sign out soon, so I’ll say goodnight now. Talk to you later.

Hello Wile E.!

*sound of sleighbells and Burl Ives crooning...*

It's so lovely to hear that you are generously spreading your inimitable
heartwarming version of Christmas cheer at the office!
Of course passers by could not help but remark with wonder how your amiable workmates can be productive in their endeavours surrounded by such splendours of the holiday season painstakingly rendered by your own loving hands! *sigh* (Such philosophical depth of meaning symbolised by those stars... placed just beyond their reach!)
It is only natural that they cannot control their wistful envy as they humbly bow and carefully crouch low to your artistic genius! Bravo!

I have been busy decorating my own house(alas, not to your impressive standards) and baking lethal sugary holiday confections lately. My mum is returning home today, so I tried to get as much work done before her arrival as I could. After an exciting luxurious weekend, it was time to roll my sleeves up and get to work!

Yes, the performance was way up there on my list of all time highs.
It's been slightly difficult to come back down to !
I've had my share of shabby experiences too. Dismal cold halls, rats scurrying close on railings, inebriated cellists hitting on me with calculated bowing techniques, an audience member dying during one of my lieder recitals, swallowing a mosquito at an outdoor venue, being pushed on stage by an aggressive stage manager, getting hit in the eye by a waywardly flung rose, having a light fixture fall on my head during a high note, highly allergenic substances in abundance blown at me from heating and airconditioning vents, falling into orchestra pits, fumbling around in unlit backstage areas and dressing rooms, being frightened by exhuberant 'fans' who almost knocked me down a flight of stairs, constantly getting lost in scary neighbourhoods...

That hotel was divine!!!My luggage was too full to fit a fluffy terry robe into...I did try.

I had time in between rehearsals to stroll around the city. It's really a vibrant and beautiful place. On clear days you can see Mount Rainier looming over it as a majestic backdrop. All the city lights and tasteful seasonal light decorations were attractive on my walks back to the hotel at night. I had fun visiting all sorts of unique coffee shops that provided superb musical entertainment as well! Lots of wonderful alternative and world music groups that made me stop longer than I should have on the way to rehearsals.
I'm not much of a drinker, but what I tasted there could easily change my tune. The air in the streets are redolent with roasting coffee aromas. Subliminal influences definitely got the better of me.

How have you been lately? Hope you've been continuing to get some decent sleep at night.*ominousmusic* At least so the has reported....

Hi Cynthesis

* sound of sleighbells and Burl Ives crooning ...*



My decorating has started a horrible trend at work. My building is made up of lots of small offices – each one trying to outdo the others in being as distasteful as possible. Somebody put a toy bird on my desk. Every time I make a loud noise it starts tweeting Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer..

I had no idea that being a lyric soprano was such a haphazard and dangerous business! Someone died in one of your performances!? I hope that light fixture didn’t hurt very much, but I wish I had seen it happen! Your audience must have been in tears after that!

No wonder you were glad to get all the calamity over with in the rehearsal. I’m glad it was such a special performance.

Seattle sounds . One of my regrets is that I haven’t done much travelling. I was intending to go to Cuba this Christmas with a friend of mine, but he lost his job and is broke. Mind you, Cuba’s a bit intimidating for someone who hasn’t travelled much so I might try something easier like New York sometime in the new year.

More Christmas related stuff – I’ve already had four Christmas meals and I’ve got another tomorrow and another one next week! It’s all work related so I can’t really get out of it. Usually I eat lots of small meals rather than a few large ones, so I’m ready for bed after three courses! At least, as a vegetarian, I haven’t ended up eating the same kind of meal each time.

You being you, I imagine your going to have a busy Christmas. Lots of guests, right?

You’ve got spying on me! Lots of early nights, promise!

I'm your pal! Why would I have someone spy on you?

*+++target subject scheduled for nocturnal unconsciousness. take up surveillance position stat- over.++++*

My mum came home today. I've been posting quite erratically due to manic multi tasking!


I'll leave you a message whilst you slumber away. Hope you have a good night's rest(free from flashbacks) and sweetest of dreams!
Nighty night Wile E.!

*cowers* Right, I better get to bed then.

No respite!

I bet your mum’s glad to be home. Hope she’s doing well. Night Cynthesis!

This made me laugh at work today. Some of my colleagues decided to up the ante and bring in Christmas cd’s.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4531190.stm

The “Make it stop!” photo made me laugh the most.

I liked this bit as well; “Indeed, middle-of-the-road pop tunes - a category into which most festive songs fall - were reputedly played by the US military to break the fighting spirit of the Viet Cong.”

I thought I'd do a bit of decorating for you while you were out...
Rather gruesome, but quite fitting the new subject title.
You like?*giggles*

I like it! I feel relaxed with decorations like these. You could have topped the ’s replacement with instead of , but that’s a minor quibble. Very nice.

What have you been up to lately? Has your mum settled in at home ok?

I wasn’t very happy about going in to work on Monday after the Christmas party, and I’ve had to put up with a lot of teasing since. Next time someone suggests playing spin the bottle, I’m going to say no!

Are you looking forward to Christmas? As you’re well aware, I’m feeling nonplussed by it all. I think it’s largely because of my birthday. I don’t want to be 26. Ok, thats not very old, but everything’s flashing by too fast! I just know I’ll be in my seventies in no time at all. One good thing is that everyone thinks I look 20 or 21, which is the age I wish I still was.

It’s funny that I mentioned wanting to go to cuba a few posts ago. I just received a text as I was writing this from the friend in question. It just says; “Cuba – February?” I wonder where he’s going to find the money. He was completely broke last time I talked to him.

*the tune of 'Jingle Bells' played on a hurdy gurdy punctuated by a cymbals wielding mechanical monkey with syncopation issues in a minor key*

Seasons Greetings Wile E.!

Hope you're well into the spirit of the season by now and recovering well from that recent bout of spinthebottle-itis.*reinforces "just say NO therapy" as needed*

I've now got a raging postperformance/pre Christmas bug that might be the flu. I'm still doing my best to take care of my mum and do the holiday baking in the midst of this. My brother offered to help out, but when I stepped out recently, he 'assisted' my mum by handily tearing something in her shoulder rotator cuff while helping her up. Needless to say, I now monitor closely his offers of 'assistance'.

Other than that, all is fine!
I did try to e-mail something to you recently. Is that address still in working order? Or do you need to check your inbox?*remembers to be gentle and to Speak Up with the rather spry looking but fast approaching 70 years old Wile E.*

So, do plans for a visit to Cuba look more promising? Maybe it was all in the timing for your friend to be able to go. Planned invasions take a bit of under the table arms dealing and money laundering to get off the ground...February is past peak tourist season in Cuba I would think. Is there a peak season in Cuba? The only people I know who have travelled there are journalist friends of mine and they never shared their scenic trip piccies with me -but did share frantic frisson of fear(aiyeee, I mean, i.e.:"tell my parents that I love them", "promise me you'll sing at my memorial service", "I've got to tell you before they search my room again...","have this statement ready for the state department if I don't call back at such and such time...") telephone messages with me, as I recall.
Sounds like an interesting place to visit... Do you speak much Espanol?

I might be back online a little later, but if not...hope your evening is lovely!*feverish*

Oh! So many email accounts!

I’ve just sent you a card and message. I don’t check that account as regularly as I should, so if you email me and don’t get a reply right away, just give me a sharp nudge here. I’m not fast and alert as I once was, young lady.

>>* the tune of 'Jingle Bells' played on a hurdy gurdy punctuated by a cymbals wielding mechanical monkey with syncopation issues in a minor key *<<

I’ve got flu, too. I don’t usually get ill, but this is the second time this winter. I bet you’re brother felt terrible after injuring your mum. Sounds like he’s big and clumsy. That, with all the fossil-talk must make him quite a character. It sounds like you’re quite busy with them and your Christmas preparations. I hope you’re feeling better in time for Christmas.

It’s been a strange week at work. There are a few others who embarrassed themselves more than me at the Christmas party who are claiming memory loss! Today, my colleagues announced that it was my ‘official’ birthday and threw me a surprise party when I came in from lunch! I’m going to do a Christmas journal entry this weekend that’ll have more on that.

I’m not sure that going to Cuba will work out as my friend is one of the most unreliable people I know, but hopefully we’ll be there in Feb or March. Its past season for tourists, but the weather looks quite pleasant that time of year – mid-twenties temperatures and very little rain. Neither of us speaks a word of Spanish, so it should be quite an adventure! I’m going to try and learn a little to get by as a tourist, but failing that, I’ll stick to the patronising English tradition of speaking VERY - LOUDLY - AND – VERY – SLOWLY, assuming anyone can understand English.

I’m going to try and get some sleep now.*feverish* Hope you're having a lovely day, too. Goodnight.

A feverishly cheery holiday hellooooooo to you Wile E.!

*nudgenudge*I do believe there was still yet another item in your mailbox not picked up.*hands him his walking cane, helps him set down his mug of warm Horlicks and adjusts the wooly winter shawl on his frail shoulders*

Sorry to hear that you're a victim of pestilence once again, too! Two bouts in a row for you...you poor thing!*feverish*
I've had to cancel my duties at the homeless shelter tomorrow. Fortunately, I cajoled a friend to take over for me. We'll see if he still wants to be my friend 300 mealplates afterwards...*garbly giggle*

At the moment my speaking voice sounds like a mix of Donald Duck/Eartha Kitt. If I answer the phone, relatives and longtime friends apologise profusely for dialing the wrong number. Then, when they figure out that it is me, they try to engage in conversation just to laugh merrily at my wacky cartoonish voice. *splutter/honk/wheeze*

It's gratifying to know that some of your w*rk colleagues exceeded your level of embarrassment after the Christmas party. Very nice to hear that they surprised you with a birthday party. After what you'd told me of the attitudes of some of them earlier, I'm happy to hear that a little indignity, embarrassment and social interaction may have broken the tension a little bit... or maybe added some new interesting ones!*feverish*

A tour of Cuba with a broke, unreliable friend to gesticulate broadly and voaclalise English loudly in a Spanish speaking island nation sounds the stuff that adventures are made of. Actually, Cubans (Los Guisanos:the worms...*shrugs feverishly*) are taught English in their secondary schooling as a requisite. But I am sure you will have plenty of chances to dismay and amuse the natives by the usual universal modes of misunderstanding.*feverish*

Have you got anything sensational planned for your actual birthday? I'm hoping you'll be feeling a lot better for Christmas.

My voice is bad too. At work, nobody could understand me when I answered the phone. I make Tom Waits sound smooooooooothe. Lots of ’s are required I think. Tell it’s medicinal.

It’s a good job you nudged me! Somehow, that email ended up in the junkmail folder. Don’t know if hotmail put it there or I did. Probably me – I havn’t been with it for the last few days. Nice card though. It’s good to see you’ve held back from sending me singing kittens. Unless, your just lulling me into a false sense of security.

I going to be having a quiet Christmas this year, but I’ll be celebrating my birthday properly on new years eve. The friend I’m possibly going to Cuba with is a DJ, and he’s playing in Nottingham on new years eve so I’ll be accompanying him with a few other acquaintances. I always enjoy going out with him when he dj’s – he gets booked in some really dodgy places. I used to live in Nottingham and think I know the club we’re going to. It’s the darkest club I’ve ever been in! It’s lit mainly by candles, but after a few hours they all go out and you can hardly see anything! It can get quite disorientating after hours of loud repetitive music, near complete darkness and lots of ’s. Uncle Wile E would love it!

I’m glad you’ll have some time to relax and recover after getting your friend to help you out. Somehow, I can’t imagine you relaxing though. What are you up to today? If it sounds like your busy, I might have to have a quiet word with

*rubs hands* How the tables have turned!

I've been *feverishly*quietly wrapping s, not answering the phone, playing tag with the , cooking easy meals for my mum, sipping and all day and scooting back to my computer when I'm not taking a nap. Yes, nap! I really must be rather. But not enough to be subjected to the likes of !

Hmmm. A fire trap club on new year's for your birthday celebration. I had a bunch of puns I was going to let loose on you about that. I think I'll save them for after you survive the night in question. And singing kittens and other beastly things will soon make their way to you when you least expect them... junkmail folder or not!*feverish duck/feline-like giggles*

Are you through with Christmas parties for now? *shudders to think of the flu bugs being swapped about during this season of sharing...*

I'd better say goodnight to you now. I'm looking at some green glass pickle gherkins my brother brought to put up on the Christmas tree.()They're awfully fragile... My feverishness has rendered me quite uncoordinated and clumsy lately. Even so, it behooves me to assist my sibling in decorating the way he most wants to this holiday season...

Well, Wile E., I hope you start feeling and sounding better very soon.
I'll see you about tomorrow!
Sleep well and sweet dreams!!!
Goodnight.*feverish*

I think you exceeded your quota of smileys on that last one!

>>*shudders to think of the flu bugs being swapped about during this season of sharing...*<< I started to feel ill shortly after the spin-the-bottle incident, so your right about it being the season of sharing. I don’t plan on going out until new years eve and I won’t be working until the new year so I’ll have plenty of time to rest up and recover. Hopefully I won’t catch anything in the fire trap club.

Are you feeling any better or are you still quacking at everyone?

I see those green glass pickle gherkins were tougher than they looked. If they're not on your tree by now, perhaps if you accidentally dropped something very heavy on them...

is watching...

H a p p y B i r t h d a yW i l e E.!!!!




Oh...and a very Merry Christmas to you too!

I do use rather a lot of smileys when I'm feverish, don't I?

How are you feeling, oh celebrated one? It's nice to think you've got a week of recuperating ahead of you. You'll need it to venture into the oxygen deprived depths of that club you'll be at next Saturday night.

Thanks for the pre-emptive strike tactic card.*giggles* It was evilly cute. What kind of sick mind could have conceived such a thing? And that terrifyingly cute voice of who knows what or who...*feverishly shudders*I'm sure some laws were broken to produce such a product...

Yes I'm stick quacking at everyone although it's taken on a smoky raunchy nuance that is frightening me...

Those pickle gherkins are gracing our Christmas tree as I speak(Rabelaisian quack)!!! They're virtually indestructable! I've encouraged ny to practice batting them like pinatas- but to no avail. They are the Christmas gherkins from hell!
I'd have to drop...maybe my brother on them to have some desired effect. Hmmmmm.*a thoughtful moment*

How has your Christmas/Birthday *looks at clock* half hour been so far?

"stick quacking" How about: stiLL?
I got the fever! My only excuse at the moment.

Thanks Cynth. Merry Christmas!

>>oh celebrated one<<

I’m still feeling pretty rough, but my voice has improved a little – it’s moved on from Tom Waits to Bob Dylan. I was singing along to Blonde on Blonde earlier on and it was a good match!

I’ve had lots of text messages wishing me happy birthday which has been nice, but my computer keeps on crashing so that’s been frustrating. It’s taken me an age to get this post written and I lost it twice. *ctrl s* *ctrl s*

I thought I’d take a leaf out of George Bush II’s book and adopt a pre-emptive strategy. But then you came back with those two. I should of realised – if it didn’t work for George, why would it work for me?

The monkey one had me in stitches though! Who spends they’re time creating such monstrosities? The kitten one I sent you frightened the life out of me when I first heard it!

I’m feeling tired, so I’m going to go to bed soon. I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow, and if you’ve got lots of people round, try and get them to do some of the work if you’re still feeling rough.

Goodnight

But you are the celebrated one...for now!

There's still more celebration and maybe sutprises coming up for you the rest of the day too, I hope!

Sweet birthday dreams Wile E.!
I'll catch up with you a little later on in the day.
Sleep well and Goodnight!