h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Like, really odd.
I mean, like so totally really odd in a very weird kind of odd way.
Which is supprizing, as I was expecting odd, yet it was supprizing, which is, of course, in itself, supprizing that the odd was supprizing.
I'm not even sure that makes sense.

2legs, you're about the least odd person around these parts. You need more oddness. You're not nearly odd enough my lad. I think you can get oddness on the national health these days. Of course, it's not such a high class of oddness as you'd get down Harley Street, but the prescriptions are cheaper.

I think Gosho is right - the older you get, the less odd things seem. So when some real oddness occurs it has to be top-notch before it surprises you.

You may well have discovered a new brand of oddness which you can tuck away in your hat, or keep in the

you can get oddness on the NHS now? I must be due to have myself services soon.... I think my liver's done 10,000 miles so needs replacing...

Yes, you can even get an oddness transplant! I've willed my oddness to science in the event of my demise

I believe 2legs has passed the oddness blue event horizon. For him to seem odd now he'd have to behave in an a way only described as hyper-normal.

Us folk, are known as eccentrics if we act oddly It takes a lifetime of practice to get it right.

I was always thought that eccentricity only comes with wealth.

One of the things I love about the British is that they seem to turn their eccentrics into national treasures rather than locking them away someplace out of sight.

that is probably true, to a certain extent - as poor eccentrics are usually referred to as 'care-in-the-community'

But doesn't everyone sort of look after the village idiot, that sort of thing? Or is that just for the novels and films?

Only village idiots are so lucky. Urban idiots are on their own.

I can see how that would happen. Life would be more difficult for them in the city. So, in my dotage, if I find myself living in Blighty, I'll be sure to choose a village someplace.

That's what's needed... an idiot relocation/placement program. Take deserving urban idiots and match them up with approved rural villages. You hear so much about villages who have lost their idiots these days. Win/win!

That idea has legs. It could be the basis for a new political party. Most MPs should be able to relate to the situation on a personal basis.

Hm.

Conservatives wouldn't buy it. The only people who can go to the countryside are rich, preferably because they work 'for' the rest of us.

Idiots might get 'benefits' instead of 'expenses' and that would never do...

I live in a village and the position of idiot here is filled already

Sadly my Father has already taken the position of village idiot back home... and has been outdoing every previous village idiot in the village since he started fifty odd years ago.... and very odd years they were too.
Did I ever mention the man who knocked at the door a week or so back and danced menacingly on our doorstep?
Then there was the shoe man... I wonder what happened to him, he must be upset now the Burrow has closed... rummour is that they're turning it into a chemist... or a ... well there are but too many rumours... most of which utterly contradict each other... but it'll be a sad day indeed when the burrow begings doing anythign that might be seen to help one's health and well-being... such a den of odd goings on as ever I've found....
Oh, and hwilst I'm here... err oh. Nope. I'm not here, see.

I don't live in a village, so we don't have a village idiot. We do have a town drunk, if that counts.

We've got hundreds and hundreds of city drunks... pity really... kinda prevents me standing out from the crowd ooo look at the time ... must be time to go comb the hairbrush