h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello there! I've just finished polishing 'The Arrangement' and the UG version can be found here:

A18205085

I've just ironed out a couple of typos and that was it. As for other changes, I had just a few very minor queries. As you know, this is the UnderGuide and you are in charge, so the following just need a 'Yes', a 'No' or a 'How dare you suggest such a thing? Leave it alone, idiot!'

Please feel free to copy and paste into a reply if that helps - and then just yea or nay. Here we go then:

>>And then without further word Hajir turned on her heels<< - 'a further word'? 'further words'?

>>So pulling a large saucepan from a shelf<< - comma after 'so'?

>>So pushing these thoughts to the back of her mind << - Don't think you need that 'so' at all.

>>Why I swear it gets worse every day<< - comma after 'why'?

>>she thanked him for the wisdom in his choice<< - of his choice? Might just be me, that one.

>>Did you really ever imagine it would be so different?<< - another 'so' which threw me a little: very much up to you, that one.

>>Moving slowly, so not to wake him<< - 'so as not to wake him'?

>>She is dreaming again<< - given that this paragraph is in italics and the use of those earlier was also for a dream, I wasn't sure you really needed this first sentence.

>>it was a daily struggle just to feed them<< - 'them' a very tiny hiccup here: 'the two of them' perhaps?

>>it took every ounce of self control<< - hyphen in 'self control'?

The only other thing I wanted to raise were the headers and breaks (lines of asterisks). I've left these as they are, but I thought they needed to be centered - and possibly the two 'Dhaka' breaks to be subheaders also. Again, entirely up to you.

A fine piece of writing - I enjoyed this very much

Hello Trin,

Thanks for your help and suggestions. Please feel free to do whatever you feel appropriate. I'm happy to leave it in your very capable hands!!!

Many thanks.

All done then! This is going to be on the Front Page very soon indeed

Thanks Trin - you're a star!

Hello again, Flame! I'm now here with the UG version of 'Someone Else's Tragedy'.

A22184561

Really haven't done very much to it (I think there was one typo, so thanks for that ). I changed a 'thru' to a 'through' and put a hyphen in at one point.

Shout out if there's anything doesn't meet with your approval

Thanks ever so Trin. Sorry for the slow response - but I've been busy getting ready to return to the the UK for a holiday. So much to do - so little time.

Thanks again,

Flame

Hey, no worries - three days isn't that slow

Hope the holiday goes well.

I think this has been the real holiday - but it will be lovely to be home for a few weeks. Didn't have time to get my new short story completed. But I will - in time!

Cheers