h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

as long as it cleans itself

I was planning to use 40% ethanol, keep the pool disinfected and a convenient drink (evidently, chlorine would not be suitable)

I think it might give rise to negative feedback if we went all palatial in here. Staffrooms in infant concerns are supposed to be spartan and cheap-looking.

We're not infant, just in Noesis terms

Anyway, the piles of rubbish, holes, mammoths, and other assorted detritus doesn't add much to the sale price

Felix the Cat.

Cat Atonia
Cat Amaran
Cat Alonia
Cat Alog
Cat Astrophe
Cat Abolism

Are we getting a jacuzzi now?

Depends how lazy the nanobots are

Cat O'Nine Tails
Cat Stevens
Cat Ballou
Cat Woman

As Requested, Copy of Rules Governing The Core Teams and NPL
_____________________________________________________________________

Rules governing the Core Teams and NPL (from the community)

1) Breathing - This is permitted at least once every minute. Any excess above that has to be put to the community to be sanctioned accordingly. This will require a 99.9% vote in favour of said motion.

2) Eating - This must be done either via Micro-wave meals or ready made sandwiches and should take no more than 15 minutes from start to finish. To help achieve this, CV's need to eat from the micro-wave cartons thus meaning no washing up req. as said cartons are disposable. Use of fingers and no cutelry will also speed things up. The reason for this will become apparent in No.3.

3) All CV's must remain at either an active pc or laptop with the info page on view and a finger poised over the F5 key and must use said key once every 3 seconds. This should go some way to resolving time delays in answering any and all questions put by the community at any time of the day or night.

4) Before answering any questions the CV's must first ask the community as a whole if its in order to answer said question. If the community agree that the question can be answered then any answer given must be put to the community to be sanctioned before being put as a formal response to the person asking the question. This procedure will also require a 99.9% in favour of both motions.

5) An Editors decision is final except when any decision made has NOT been put to the community first for approval. The usual 99.9% rule applies here also.

6) Toilet breaks will only be permitted after such a request is put to the community who will decide the pros and cons of such breaks. The 99.9% rule applies here also. If the community decide such breaks will interfere with the fast response times of the cv's then permission will not be granted and cv's will have to wait for another opportunity at a later date.

7) The community will ALWAYS and WITHOUT exception, put forward the same 3 or 4 named people who will, regardless of any election procedure or election result, deem themselves as spokespersons for the community.

8) Notwithstanding all the above, the community will, at all times, have the last lau.., err, I mean, last word on any and all decisions relating to the site even when its clear the CV's are within their rights to make such decisions.

FOOTNOTE 1:- 99.9% is the figure derived at in order to show the CV's that there will always be that 'point 1%' where any terms of reference for volunteers will never be good enough and therefore impossible to achieve 100%. The CV's will appreciate this as it shows we, as the community, are not over zealous in our demands nor are we dictatorial in such demands.

FOOTNOTE 2:- Legislation is to be put before parliament to scrap the working times directive and to extend the working day from 24 to 25 hours and the working week from 7 to 8 days. This should assist the CV's as it does, in theory, allow them time to eat etc at least once or twice a week.

Never let it be said we didn't have the health and welfare of our core teams at the centre of everything we do.


These T & C's brought to you by the number 42, a Logitec Keyboard and Optical Mouse and dictated by the mad moggie.

This should first come with the correct definitions of the "Core team" and the "NPL"

Well, there's Apple Core, Core of the Earth and core blimey, wots that all about then?

And don't forget "Core! look at her!"

Well done, BMT!

*Makes a batch of photocopies at the copier in the hall, distributes a few on each table and thumbtacks one to the wall next to the microwave. *

Did you remember to put it in Comic Sans first?

And add clip-art...

I thought we were supposed to be the intelligent people running the site, surely we can do better (good thing I knew that none of us were ever mature)

That's fab, BMT.

clocking in for a bit, sort of.