h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Ben,

I noticed you had put in an appearance on the abuse thread and mentioned having tried Tonglen. But then I remember you said you're a Buddhist sometimes. How have you been? Are you still on your travels?

Amazingly, my abuser phoned me yesterday to wish me happy birthday, and to acknowledge getting my poem and letter. Wah. What a breakthrough. It was the first time he ever acknowledged that the abuse might have had an effect on me.In nearly fifty years! He was obviously having a rough time of it, to judge by his sighs between each sentence.

The weird thing was the incredible grief I felt on his behalf, and I guess for the child that I had been, who was so wretchedly warped by the whole business.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement. You, Moth, Az and Zarquon have all been so generous, kind and inspiring.

My feeling is that although that poem was such a final statement, there is some anger yet to emerge as a poem of some sort. (Oh I wrote screeds of raging stuff years ago in my therapy journal, esp when I thought of anyone doing anything like that to any of my kids...) But this is coming from a deeper, more scarred memeory. And again ( thank you for the inspiration ) some sort of "viator" verse feels right for the vehicle.

Blessings,

Chai

Hi Chai,

How amazing that your abuser called you. It astonishes me when things change like that. And thank you for telling me. We all go through the world dropping pebbles in ponds, and never knowing where the ripples reach out to. The Viator IS a good form, isn't it? I am just sad that Robin Skelton has died, and I cannot send him my sample.

I am ok - but going through some very difficult times, both in my personal life, and in my (total lack of) work. However, I am not despondent, and I think that this will be a year in which great changes will take place for me. But forgive me if I don't post much here. I am more likely to answer emails than things here on h2g2.

Take care of yourself, and let me know how you are doing.

B