h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I wish for your safety and happiness alone.
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I am not worthy.

The worthlessness is my own, in the presence of one such as yourself.

You aren't worthless Have you got Sky? I forgot.

I don't no, I'd only use it for Family Guy, the Simpsons, and football and I can watch all them online.

Why do you ask?

There is this VERY strange film on Film 4 currently, it's freaking me out.

What's it called?

I'm a cyborg, But That's OK.

Oh God yeah, that Korean film.

You seen it?

A couple of years ago, it's that girl who thinks she's some robot and shocks herself isn't it?

I haven't a clue, I haven't seen it before, it's a strange film. It's subtitled as well.

I didn't understand it, all I can remember is that the girl is called Young-Goon, and the guy is called Il-Sun or something.

Young-Goon
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Really? A Gooner fan is she?

I don't know. She's not a patch on the female United fan I'm talking to though.

Who's that?

I'm not sure of her name, there's an R and an F in there somewhere. All I can remember about her is her ravishing beauty.

I'm not beautiful.

You're right.

There is no word I know of, in any language on Earth, that could ably describe you.

Irrelevant?

How could you be irrelevant when you're the centre of my universe?