Journal Entries

It's sad but thanks God its over ...

Two weeks ago my mother died, aged 67 years and nine months. She had been fighting against multiple cancers for more than 4 years and in the end she lost. smiley - sadface

It's so sad that we somehow lost contact during that time as she grew more and more agressive towards me, my wife and my kids. Sometimes she blamed me for her disease, and "If I'd been a good son and always had done as she told me, she wouldn't be that ill."

I tried so hard not to lose contact totally, but sometimes we didn't talk for months (we live(d) only some 20 miles apart). My kids even grew up without realizing that there's a second grandma ...

Fortunately our contact improved at least a little bit during the last weeks, and I could visit her in hospital without having to go through all those arguments all over again. I was at her bed the night she died and the night before (she was already unconscious and propably didn't notice me at all). It was such a serene and peaceful moment when she just stopped breathing ... finally she could just close the door behind her and go away, leaving all her pain and burden behind her. When I called my brother to tell him that it's over I felt like bringing sad news but not bad news.

It will always be a thorn in my soul that we wasted the last few years in anger instead of letting my kids have a real grandma. But ... what should I have done differently? Do I have to give in all the time just for peace's sake? Even if (or just because) it's my mom? I don't think so. If my family is attacked everything else becomes irrelevant. It's harsh to say that but it's true.

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Latest reply: Jul 20, 2004

R.I.P. Compay Segundo & Benny Carter

It saddens my heart to hear that Compay Segundo, the charming cigar-smoking guitar-playing gentleman from Havana, Cuba, well known from Wim Wenders' movie "Buena Vista Social Club" and Benny Carter, jazz legend since the golden days of the big band era have passed away, both aged 95.

Two more greats to join the heavenly jam session ...


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Latest reply: Jul 15, 2003

Compared to what???

I browsed through my CD collection just a couple of days ago and found a record by Les McCann & Eddie Harris: "Swiss Movement". The first track is called "Compared to what". The lyrics (as far as I get them) are really interesting and absolutely up-to-date, considering that the record dates back to 1969.

I'm afraid I won't be allowed to post the lyrics here, but if anyone has the record, listen to it ...

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Latest reply: Apr 22, 2003

Goodbye, Mr. Gates ...

This is my first Journal Entry written on a Linux machine. I am going to get rid of everything that is tagged Microsoft ASAP. Should've done that much earlier ...

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Latest reply: Jan 1, 2003

h2g2 isn't *THAT* useless ...

Some weeks ago I applied for a job in another department of the municipality I work for. I really *wanted* to have that job, but there was some serious competition.

It came down to the knowledge of written and spoken English. I said: "I speak and write English fluently. The others said "So do we." I said: "But I have written articles for the BBC!!!!!"

Needless to say that I got the job!!


smiley - oksmiley - oksmiley - ok

Discuss this Journal entry [27]

Latest reply: Sep 3, 2001

Back to Jeremy (trying to find his way back to dinner)'s Personal Space Home

Jeremy (trying to find his way back to dinner)

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