h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...or maybe I am.

I haven't found a flat yet, but my dad's going to lend me the deposit when I find one. I'm thirty four and shouldn't be relying on my dad for anything.

I'm in a good place at work: my manager's giving me space and appreciating what I'm doing, even though what I'm doing is a tad beyond my remit (I've done an HTML page to bring all the relevant info our section needs together, and done a few other bits that help the stats) but I still want to scream at some of my colleagues:

Colleague: Why can't I do this any more?

Me: Because that was replaced with a new thing.

Colleague: Nobody told me about it!

Me: I sent you an email about it last week!

Colleague: Oh, I don't have time to read my emails. We're not all tied to our PCs like you, you know!.



My DVD recorder has decided to stop recording DVDs. There is absolutely no chance of me finding the receipt.

I want a partner but am too skint to go and find one and too selfish to keep one.

My ex flatmate dumped a bunch of my stuff, some of which had emotional significance.

I love my parents. My dad's going to be 70 this year and I know I'll have to deal with him shuffling off at some point. My mum won't be far behind. I don't know how I'll deal with that and it weighs on my mind.

I wanna' be straight, just like everybody else. Gay culture appalls me.

I wish I'd made more of an effort with music when I was younger and that the best song I've written wasn't about a hootoo italic and full of the injokes that go with that (and what happened to Paully? Couldn't he pop back and say hello occasionally?)

Of a morning I can't help falling into chirpy, cheery Dave mode, but behind the smile Dave is feeling increasingly unchirpy and uncheery.

It's called midlife crisis for men and menopause for women. I've bought some herbal remedies now, because i hate to behave so emotional and absolutely weird I've been last week.

Midlife crisis? I'm only 34!

And I'm only 44, so what ? Everybody has his/her own speed, some start sooner, some later, there's noting much you can do about it. I guess the moment you realise what's going on, that's the moment you can start to cope and act accordingly.

One word...

Prioritise!

Morons for colleagues...ignore them. If they can't cope, that's their problem, don't make it yours. (Trust me, I have some experience in this.)

Parents ageing...nothing you can do to stop it, stop stressing, it won't make any difference.

DVD recorder: outdated technology (already!) Stop being an early adopter. It'll save you money. You were never going to watch all those recordings anyway.

Ex-flatmate stuff: at some stage in anyone's life, people will act shittily towards you. You may feel "what have a done to deserve this?" Shit happens. If you lose stuff, they're only things, not people.

Partner: this is one of the areas you should concentrate on. Being skinty is no object, being selfish is. Work on that.

Music: You're lucky, you can do music. Most of us only listen to it. Keep it up, it's worth it. Peter Gabriel did his better stuff once he'd passed 40.

Where you live: find somewhere you're happy with.

And you're only 34!

Now write that out 100 times before dawn, or I'll cut your balls off!

RF

I'm quite attached to my knackers. Where's that (inadvertently procured) HMRC ?

It's hard to ignore colleagues that revel in their mindful ignorance, but at least I know that everyone else thinks he's a twot too.

The DVD recorder's a Goodmans DVD recorder & Freeview box. I have only myself to blame (and I had to look at fat chav-mother betraccied bottoms while buying it in Argos).

PG was already quite sorted by the time he was forty! (but I agree with you on the quality front).

My Dad offering to help with the deposit has enabled me to widen my search. I can do £500 a month, but couldn't do £500 + £500 in advance at the start of October! (though I did put £200 aside, in a rare moment of common sense).

Yeop, the selfishness is something i have to sort out. It's a result of being an only child followed by spending most of my adult life alone. That's the reason but isn't an excuse.

And I know everyone says it but stop actively looking for/ stressing about a partner. That's when they tend to turn up unannounced

I'm not *that* bothered about a partner, just worried that I'll end up a lonely old man.

Blinkin' 'eck, that's a bit depressing innit?

Ooh! Good news! The DVD recorder succesfully recorded 'Jeepers Creepers' and the Scissor Sisters gig last night!

I think it was over heating so I've whacked a pair of pliers 'twixt it and the VCR to let a bit of air between 'em. Seems to have done the job.

Sometimes the right ing is all, isn't it ?

Roymondo! Have you even been doing the lines RF gave you?!

'I will not end up a lonely old man' x 1000.

Now get on with it

Doing the lines RF gave me? But RF doesn't do things like that!

Oh, ah, *those* lines. Yep, I've been doing them, and my arm's tired.

B'El, 'tis true, a little ing goes a long way!

hi roy< hug> the camera doesn't lie
Honey i'm 51, still on my own after 20 years and it appears as far as academic life is concerned on the scrapheap , and i'm skint, unemployed..but I found someone when i'd given up looking and I've just heard i have an interview at a very good university(even if I don't get the job getting an interview for this college is enough to boost my ego)and i don't think I've ever grown up despite having a 22 year old daughter..i am having a mid life crisis now i think.. alot later than every one else(I'm always last) .If i don't find a job soon I will be out on the street as i won't be able to pay the rent..so whats new? i've been homeless before..4 times I think at the last count.
You have your parents, and your friends and you have a job..everyhting else will come in it's own good time. You have a geat personality, you are cute and you have musical ability....what more could a guy want? I just keep telling myself i'm going through abad patch and things will improve..and they will..as soon as you find somewhere to live you'll feel happier
keep at it Roy, something good happens when you least expect it.

I'm going to have to reporting all of you to P.U.D.D.I.N.G. How's a chap supposed to wallow in self pity when people keep popping up and saying things like that?

The camera doesn't lie? Blimey.

I may be walking funny by the end of the week.....

Well, you know what they say: no pain, no gain.

Hmm, not sure about that one. I haven't really woken up yet

I'm not complaining....I have a on my face according to Jk

I'd better go do something useful..catch you later

Laters. Have fun 'doing' something useful..

*poke*

If you're not yourself.. who are you?

I'm confuzzled again!