h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good Morning Everyone

Well ... it is a sad and sorry Bran this morning. I received a letter yesterday saying that my application for the medieval lecturer had been unseccessful. Not even an interview. Oh well. That has to have been the quickest academic hiring decision that I have ever heard of. Went into a depression for a while, but have improved somewhat this morning. I guess the non-completed PhD was a decisive factor. So, I'll just have to get the damn thing finished sooner than later.

Enjoy your sister's wedding Case.

No more time for posting! Back to the Tome!
Cheerio
Bran.

Hey Bran, I am sorry to hear that. It's their loss I think. Don't let it get you down, hope the Tome is coming on well.

And Case, all the best for the wedding. Sister's weddings are exhausting affairs!

Speak to you all later,
Wz

Evening all

Ever so sorry to hear you didn't get the job Bran. As Wazungu says, their loss!

I'm supposed to be having dinner with my brothers this evening. They're off on their journey tomorrow. They must be mad in this weather. I'm not tempted to go with them - not remotely. It'll be a route march. I just hope they don't get blown off a mountain.

You have some great ways of getting it out of your system Wazungu. I'll have to try bellowing "geranium!!!" next time I'm sorely vexed. It doesn't sound very promising but I'll give it a go. The element of surprise (to myself as well as those around me) might be sufficient to do the trick.

Hope the wedding went well for you all Case.

Bye for now.
Sal

Thanks for the commiseratons Waz and Sal, and Walter from another thread. I am resolved to it today, and feel more motivated than ever to get the Tome done. I heard that there were 18 applicants for the job and all but two (ie. someone else and me) did not have completed PhDs. So, they did not interview 13 people WITH PhDs ... for some reason, that makes me feel better. A bit of a tough job market this. What I should try is a gutsy "geranium!!" while charging over a sand dune. That should to it.

I am interested in how your mad brother's walk goes Sal. I am planning a walk to a peak called Frenchman's Cap in February. About 1400 metres, and a three night adventure (50 km round trip). But ... we have chosen the warmest and driest time of the year ... which seems all to the good for my taste.

Sunny blue sky here this morning and a top of 21 celcius expected. Life is not that bad really. Till next time

Bran

Good evening,
That's the attitude Bran! I prefer "Geronimo" to "Geranium", though from memory Geranium has a Hitchhiker's connection, which is in its favour. Like you I would choose warm and dry for climbing hills. Are your brothers camping Sal? If so, I hope they don't get blown away too. I would never sleep easy in one of those tents where the floor is part of the tent. You could get blown away in those. An old fashioned ground sheet seems safer.
Yesterday there was a Gold rest flitting about the cordon apple trees. This is a first for this garden! His feathers were so fluffed out in the cold that he looked completely round. A pale little ball, olive green on top with a dash of brilliant yellow over his head. I hope he appreciated all the extra apple tree there was this year. I forgot to prune them at the end of summer and now don't know whether to give them a winter prune or wait until spring. Do any of you know about fruit tree pruning?
'Til later,
Wz

PS. I have just been to the front page, congratulations on your Cicadas entry Sal! . It must be one of the first to come through the peer review system. I still think about the prime numbers bit, one of nature's really weird connections.

PPS "Gold rest" above should of course read Goldcrest.
Wz

Evening Wazungu, Walter and Bran

Glad you're feeling more positive now Bran. You'll be floating on a cloud of euphoria when you get that Tome finished and I expect all the great learning establishments will be head-hunting you.

I'll let you know how my bruvs' walk went just as soon as they get back. You know how 'normal' I am? - Well, my brothers are a pair of maniacs (nice ones of course). The older one ran the 3 peaks (that's up your neck of the woods Wazungu) on his 40th birthday. In fact, not satisfied with having run the 3 of them, he ran up and down the next peak as well. That's one way to cope with a 40th birthday, I suppose. The idea of even attempting such a feat would give me a mid-life crisis I think.

Your plan sounds so much more sensible Bran. Take it easy.

I'm pretty sure the boys won't be camping, Wazungu. It's more likely that they'll be slogging their way from one pub/inn to the next. I imagine these will be pretty spread out so they'll stay at a different one each night and spend each day walking to the next one. I was thinking this would be my idea of hell at this time of the year till you mentioned the possibility of camping. The very idea!

If you can wait till next week, when they'll be back, I'll ask the one who lives near by about when you should prune your apple tree.

I think you'll find that it was a petunia rather than a geranium in Hitchhiker's. Still, "geranium" works for me. I think it'll make a better shouting word than "petunia". Don't you?

I've never seen a Goldcrest in real life. How wonderful to have one in your garden! Are you sure it was a male though? It says in my birdie book that the females have a yellow crest and the males have an orange crest. Both lovely in any case.

Thank you for the congrats. I got an email from h2g2 to tell me that the cicada entry was in. I was all pleased and tried to rush over to have a look but it took me ages to get into the h2g2 site. There are still problems aren't there? I'm finding it very difficult to get in this evening, as well. I keep getting "timed-out", "access denied" and "page cannot be displayed" messages. Very frustrating. Ah well. Now that the cicadas entry is in, I'm starting my next project - on "prions". Don't know what's happening with the bacteriophages article. They started to edit it a couple of weeks ago but now it's just sitting there - untouchable (by me at least) and a bit mangled.

I'm going to try to post this now. It's 12.26 am. Shouldn't be too busy. If I can't get through, I'll post it tomorrow ... if I can.

Speak to you all later.
Sal

Hi Wazungu, StM and Bran,

StM, congratulations!! The first time in several days that h2g2 wants to actually come up for me without some kind of epic struggle and YOU have made the front page. You must be thrilled, and rightly so. I feel like wandering around saying 'My friend Sal has just had published her article on Cicadas!'

But just on these seemingly continuing problems with h2g2 access, my regular posting time of early-ish morning (here) is virtually a non-event at the moment. And when I can get through, the system rarely wants to let me cross to a forum. The other day, for instance, I logged in okay, got in to Loonytunes' page with no problem, posted a reply to him, came out and went to the next message: at that point the system just froze me out. I didn't actually know what 'timed out' meant until these gremlins appeared on h2g2. So my irregular visits are not irregular through choice.

It is 29 degrees here today. I just had to escape, so went for a walk into the city about noon, and bought some Christmas cards, and postage stamps, and a book, and two history magazines. And a small present for my baby sister. Everyone is wearing cool summery clothes and there is warmth and feeling good across the shoulders if that makes any sense to you. Have you ever noticed how, provided it is not too hot, people always seem to look much more cheerful when the weather is nice?

The results are back from university: the Beloved and me did okay. Well, she did smashing - two more High Distinctions, which makes nine in a row. And thank you my friends for your advice and help and most of all, your support during The Elizabethan Golden Age saga. It paid off; my best ever year's result for history.

Goldcrests. Saw a pair once in some fir trees, hundreds of years ago, but they are uncommon are they not? What a good sighting. At the moment my main ornithological interest is in the survival of the now four Wood Duck quacklings which are growing relatively big. Down at the Bay last evening - and gosh, aren't long walks on summer evenings just the bees knees? - there was a domestic-type duck at the water's edge with fourteen quacklings, which I think is the most I have ever seen in the one clutch. Oh, and Ben the Vandal has discovered swimming, and very good at it he is too. Except that he has now taken to sticking his head down into every pail of water he can find, which around our place is a lot. We have to use galvanised pails because he eats plastic buckets.

Bran is coming over for dinner tomorrow because he is lonely on account of his Beloved is away for a week or so. So the two of us can bore ourselves rigid talking history to our hearts' content, except, of course, when my Beloved says 'Enough!' Which won't be long, if previous experience is anything to go by. Take care, y'all,

Walter

Good evening again,
You are right Sal! It was a petunia. And geranium is better than petunia regardless of Hitchhiker links. I can wait for the tree pruning, I'd appreciate it if you did ask your brother. (Glad he's not camping!). I usually winter prune the standard tree when all its leaves have fallen. They haven't yet and if the cordons should be done in winter I'll do the lot together.

As for the Goldcrest I was calling him "him" without any good reason. Yellow or orange sounds like the sort of distinction that can only be made when seen together. It was a very bright, golden yellow. They are not common birds to see, Walter, but I've seen them before, this year, in my parents' garden about a mile away.
It's good to hear from you again, I've had problems with h2g2 forums but not as bad as you and Sal. I do know what you mean about the sense of well-being when it's warm and sunny. 17 Celsius here today. Nearly a record for November but not nearly high enough to generate cheerfulness. I'm glad the university results were good, and that the Elizabethan saga worked out. What does your Beloved study - I don't think you've said? It doesn't sound as if its history.

Prions are involved in BSE aren't they Sal? Scary things, I'd be very interested in reading about them. I hope your Bacteriophages don't finish up too mangled. Editing seems to be a bit of a lottery sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't say that. I don't know what the etiquette is on contacting the editor while its being edited.
Must go now or I will be late for dancing. (Later than usual that is .)
Wz.

Good Morning All

Another great day here - sunnt and blue, not sure what the temp is going to be, about 20 celcius I expect. I have a pile of burds playing outside my window - can't see them most of the time, but I can here a manner of calls and whistles. Sort of keeps me company.

Well done Sal on the Cicada entry - I can now speak authoritatively about species numbers and life cycles and distribution and everything. A very informative article.

Well done also Walter and the Beloved on your marks!! More HDs for the Fairer One ... what other prizes are there for her to win? And what was your Elizabeth mark? The best ever from the Prof sounds very impressive. And to think, I shall be gracing your table tonight ... I shall have to genuflect several times!! We shall have to try not to bore your Beloved too much.

It has been a bit slow getting on to H2G2. I have a bookmark to my page that often takes too long, but if I go in via the main page this seems to work. Wonder why.

Have a great day/evening everyone.

Cheers
Bran.

Good Morning Everyone

Well, what an evening I had last night at Walter's and his Beloved's place! The Beloved produced an excellent warm chicken salad (with the chicken stuffed with garlic and herbs, and wrapped in prosciuto), washed down with a dry white wine, and with herb bread on the side. Followed with cheese, strawberries, biscuits and a home-made Baileys, and coffee. Wow! I met Ben the Vandal, a delightful dog with a great nature, and can report that the kennel has indeed been chewed. I saw the four wood-ducklings on the lawn, as well as a multitude of other birds. I smelled the jasmine on their porch as I was leaving, and listenned to the sound of frogs ribetting in the still and warm night. They have a wonderful house in such a beautiful location. Talk about serenity. I gush! I just hope that we didn't bore the Beloved too much Walter with the inevitable focus on history. Thanks for an excellent night Walter.

I'm currently reading a novel that is set around Hereford. Sounds like a great little city. Has anyone been there? I get the impression that it is well-preserved (in a good way), with few modern buildings to upset the skyline. Is that actually the case?

Best off to the porridge. Till next time.
Cheers
Bran

Hello Wazungu, StM and Bran,

Well, Bran, you can come over any time for dinner; have you ever thought of going into personal management, or public relations? But it was a lovely evening. What Bran omitted to mention was that about halfway through the evening I was summoned to work and had to leave Beloved and Bran to finish off the conversation, the continental chocolates and the strawberries. And the washing-up. By the time I returned, at midnight, my guest had departed and my beloved was tucked up fast asleep.

It was very difficult again to get into h2g2 today, and the first time it refused point blank to let me send messages, or indeed to bring up the messages on screen. So I don't know what is happening, but the site ain't right.

A friend who is in Britain at the moment emailed to say, among other things, that your rail system is a bit dodgy at the moment, something to do with the tracks, but she was not explicit, except that the inference I drew was that the fault may be with the privatised operators. Can you enlighten us?

It has taken me all day nearly to get in here and now I have to stop because it is going home time and I have to get to the bakers begfore it closes, otherwise no cheese, cucumber and tomato sandwiches. It doesn't sound very gourmet-like, does it, but I think a cheese and tomato sandwich or roll is very hard to beat. Especially with a smear of Heinz English salad cream and a touch of pepper. Sorry about the commercial, but Crosse and Blackwell can't compare with Heinz for that 'just right' taste. Take care y'all,

Walter

Good evening, dinner sounded wonderful, and the surroundings. Frogs and jasmine; magic. All I had time for tonight was mashed potato, but that's better than Tuesday night's two slices of bread! I know I've driven through Hereford Bran, but never stopped or paid much attention, it was just a town to get round on the way somewhere else, so I can't help with your question. Its not on a very common route from here.

Walter, you really want to know about the rail problems? The rail system has been dodgy for years, way before privatisation I think. In terms of reliability, timetables and strikes anyway. What changed with privatisation was people's expectations (partly fed by advertising by the new operators), the opportunity for the various operators of the system to blame each other for problems and, more importantly, rail travel seemed to become less safe. The suspicion being that making returns for shareholders has taken precedent over investing in repair or replacement of track or modern braking systems and possibly over other measures needed for safety, like speed restrictions. I said "seemed" to become less safe because I'm not convinced the investment would have been made under public ownership and we may well have had the same crashes and derailments. It is possible however that rail staff, with the back up of unions would have had more opportunity to refuse to take/send trains out in what they knew were unsafe conditions, had they wanted to do this. Perhaps its wishful thinking that they would have done this but I think its less likely to happen in the "business" culture which is cultivated in privatised services.

The main problem at the moment is to do with hairline fractures in tracks, many miles of which need replacing as a result. In the meantime speed restrictions have been imposed despite the penalties Railtrack will incur to the train operators as a result. Now its being claimed that slow speeds are dangerous, apparently drivers are more likely to go through red lights. I will leave you to work that one out Walter, unless Sal has any suggestions, it makes no sense to me. Some Labour MPs have been calling for re-nationalisation as a result. (At the same time that the Government are putting privatisation of air traffic control forward.)

Talking of slow speeds, there seems to have been another upgrade of h2g2, new buttons, maybe that's caused some of the slowdown today. I think there's a gremlin in it though. Bits of h2g2 disappear whenever the banner ad updates.

Yesterday morning I had another rare visitor in the garden. A song thrush. He (or she) was down by the cordon trees again, where the goldcrest was.
Didn't Heinz threaten to stop making salad cream recently, but gave in due to public pressure?
Til next time,
Wz

Evening Wazungu, Walter and Bran

What's happening? It's getting more and more difficult to make any progress at h2g2. I'm off line now. Managed to log on for a little while but couldn't seem to do anything after reading your last post Wazungu. The banner advert and stuff at the top of the screen kept reloading for some reason. I wonder if that's causing everything to slow down so much that we poor researchers can't get much done. Anyway, whilst waiting for my page to refresh, I got slung out. Ah well. There's always Africam.

It's been warm here too. 17 degrees C. Most unseasonal - and the rain's coming back (did it ever go?) for the foreseeable weatherforcastable future.

Pleased to hear you and your lady-love did so well in your academic endeavours Walter. All that hard work was worthwhile. Well done!

Does Ben swim after sticks or balls? If he's keen on sticking his head in buckets, he might take to diving. My parents used to have a dog who would dive under the water to retrieve a stone if someone threw one for her. Remarkable sight.

You've got the right prions Wazungu. They cause lots of diseases including BSE, CJD and scrapie. They're fascinating little particles and I thought they'd make a good subject for an article. Still don't know what's happening about the bacteriophage article. I left a message for Anna, the Deputy Editor yesterday because I can't seem to get through to the sub-editor. Haven't heard a thing yet. I don't think there's a etiquette problem because apart from the bit of mangling, there's also the matter of the missing paragraph because he's editing an old version of the article. Thanks for the congratulations on getting the cicada article on the front page everyone. I was surprised anyone got to see it because the day in went up I had an awful job getting onto the site - again - and imagined everyone else would have similar problems. It's nice to know it didn't go unnoticed.

Your description of Walter's home made it sound like a lovely little corner of paradise Bran. Lucky duckies and frogs! I'm not sure if I've been to Hereford. I've been to Worcester which is near by and as far as I can remember (long time ago) that was a nice place.

Are you on call at all hours Walter? Maybe you're just too conscientious and available. I may be the target for accusations of insufficient dedication but I confess that these are my techniques for avoiding unwanted calls in the middle of the night: 1) don't have a mobile 'phone and wouldn't be saddled with one at any price, 2) only have one telephone line so if online with the computer the telephone doesn't ring, 3) don't have an answering machine, 4) don't use BT's call waiting service 5) switch the fax machine on if there's any known danger of an unwanted 'phone call, 4) telephones have "off" switches and I'm not afraid to use them, 5) number is ex directory. These were the methods I adopted initially to avoid 4 or 5 idiot calls each week, usually trying to sell me a kitchen, bathroom or patio. Now I only speak to people I want to speak to. I can recommend it for a peaceful life!

I'd just add this about the railways: all the things you said were true Wazungu but there were a couple of other complications that are often overlooked: Railtrack wasn't carrying out repairs because the government would penalise them for any delays the repairs might cause and also, every time there was an accident in which people were killed, Railtrack's share price increased because the government would pump more money in, to sort out the problem. So Railtrack was being encouraged to let the state of the tracks deteriorate and that was the government's fault.

The weather hasn't been toooo bad this week so I hope my brothers have survived their stomp through the mountains of Wales. I'll ask about the best time for pruning your apple trees this weekend.

Here we go - don't know how long it'll take to get this posted ...

Speak to you all later.
Sal

Sal, I really liked your cicada entry. Over here in Africa they are very common of course, and I've met a number of different kinds in different places. But when I read your entry I learnt lots of things that I didn't know. Keep it up, we need more entries like these!

You all mentioned birds. It so happens that I also met an unusual bird in unusual circumstances very recently, in fact about fourteen hours ago. I was lying in my room, reading, and one of our cats came in. The cat lay down on the floor, stayed there for a while, and went out. A short while later there was suddenly an eruption of feathers and fluttering from behind my barbell weight plates in the corner of my room. A bird flew out, hit the ceiling and went down to the floor. I first thought it was a pigeon, then I thought it was a thrush. But when I went over to it, I saw what it was: a honeyguide! It was a youngster, and they look totally different from the adults. But it was a honeyguide allright. Do any of you know about honeyguides? They're in the woodpecker order. They have grasping feet with two toes forward and two backward. While handling the honeyguide it would grasp my fingers very firmly with those toes. Honeyguides are parasitic - this kind lays its eggs in the nests of hoopoes and perhaps barbets. There are a couple of Blackcollared Barbets around, and I suspect they may have raised my visitor. Newly hatched honeyguide chicks have sharp hooks on their bills and actually bite their foster parents' true offspring to death so that they alone remain to be fed. They lose the hooks after that and are raised with great love and tenderness by their clueless foster parents. That's just the way it works, I'm sure they're not overaggressive or intrinsically evil; my visitor was in fact very timid and scared.

And honeyguides get their name from a truly fascinating habit. They lead humans and animals to the hives of honeybees! This really happens: they draw the attention of a human or a honey badger by agitated fluttering and twittering, and, if the human or badger shows interest, lead them to the hives. Then they wait while the human or honey badger plunders the nest, and will feed on the scraps of honeycomb left over. They eat the bee larvae that are still in the cells, they eat the honey, and they can even digest the wax of the honeycomb through the activity of a special enzyme.

How did the honeyguide get into my room? Did the cat bring it in? I am fairly sure that I would have noticed a honeyguide in the cat's mouth, and I'm also fairly sure the cat would not have acted as relaxed as it did if it had recently lost a honeyguide behind the weight plates. The alternative is that the honeyguide came in through the window, co-incidentally just a moment or two after the cat left. But anyways I kept it in a disused rabbit-cage for a while and when it seemed OK I let it go; it flew quite strongly and did not seem injured in the least.

This was a Greater Honeyguide, only the second I ever saw in my life. I once saw a Sharpbilled Honeyguide, and in the local nature reserve there's a Lesser Honeyguide that has a particular fig tree in which it sits calling the whole day long, every day, every week, every month, every year - only once did I fail to find it there; it must have been doing something really, really important that it had to do somewhere else.

Morning Sal, Walter, Bran and Case,
H2g2 doesn't seem so bad this morning but there is definitely something odd with the top of the page. And there is always Africam Sal! But I miss the polar bears.

I had the problem of the editing being done on an old version of an entry with the Safari Tips one. The guidelines say the editors check they've got the most up to date one before they edit, but I suppose it depends when they start the editing. I wouldn't have thought Bacteriophages needed much editing.

I have a sixth option on telephone calls; don't answer. Ring 1471 to find out who it was afterwards and decide to call back or not. I didn't know phones had off switches Sal. If I leave mine off the hook I get messages telling me to put it back.

Railtrack's share price movement compared to accidents is interesting. The Paddington crash knocked it temporarily, but as you say it then recovered with the extra subsidy announcements and the Hatfield crash hardly moved it. And there is no other significant penalty on the company for the accidents that I'm aware off.

Have you considered WHY the honeyguide came into your room Case? Have you noticed a lot of bees around lately?
I knew about the guiding bit but not that they behaved like cuckoos with their young. I wonder how these complicated lifestyles evolve. How did the first honeyguide come to lay its eggs in another birds nest?
Til later
Wz

Evening everyone

I've grilled my brother about pruning your cordon trees Wazungu. He said you should cut them now but instead of cutting main branches after the 3rd leaves from the trunk (not including the leaves that grow in the fork between trunk and branch), you should cut after the 5th leaves. On any secondary branches, cut after 3rd instead of 1st leaves (again, not including the basal leaves). Don't cut at an angle that will allow water to sit in the wound (especially important this time of year).

They had a nice holiday but it rained constantly. They didn't trek from inn to inn as I imagined they would. Instead they took the camper and used that as their base.

Thanks Case. Glad you liked my bug article. I liked your honeyguide story. How about doing a piece about them for the Guide. They're very interesting. I've seen a nature programme about honeyguides (long time ago) but I'm pretty sure they didn't mention anything about their habit of cuckoo-ing other birds - little rascals. It's a big coincidence you should tell us about a bird with cuckoo-like habits just now because I had been considering doing an article on cuckoos. I had a look to see if there was one already in the Guide and found that there was. I was a bit disappointed because they're fascinating birds and the author of the Guide Entry on cuckoos has left most of the really interesting stuff out. I left him a note about a couple of little errors in the piece, but he never replied. Shame. Ah well. If anyone here doesn't know much about cuckoos and would like to know what I mean about just how very interesting they are, only say so and I'd be delighted to tell you.

It is mysterious how things like honeyguiding behaviour can evolve. It must be entirely genetic - 100% instinctive, with the honeyguides not able to learn the behaviour from their real parents.

I wonder if the polar bears will be back on camera when they get back off the ice. I hope so. It seemed odd to find arctic animals at Africam, but it was lovely to see them.

After reading some of the messages to TPTB at h2g2, I get the impression that it's not at all uncommon for sub-editors to be editing old versions of articles or altering them in ways that their researchers don't like - or for researchers to be unable to get in touch with the sub-eds. It's 19 days since I posted messages to my bacteriophage sub-ed. I guess the system needs a bit of tweaking. I haven't had a reply from Anna, the Deputy Editor, yet either - but it's only 4 days since I left her a message and I don't expect she works at the weekends.

Oh yes. I forgot 1471 but there's a reason for that. I have one of those 'phones with "caller display". It remembers the last 30 calls and you can scroll through the numbers. If you want to ring them back you just press the dial button when the number's displayed in the display window. The nice thing is that most of the nuisance calls (from double-glazing, conservatory, patio etc sales people) show as number withheld or unavailable and you're left with just the numbers you might want to call back. And yes, they all have off switches. No need to leave them off the hook. Next time you need to buy a new 'phone, you'll probably find that the off switch is a standard feature. Brilliant!

Alan Milburn, the Secretary of State for Health was interviewed on tv by Jonathan Dimbleby this afternoon. One of the things they were talking about was the on-going BSE fiasco. Mr Dimbleby asked him if he would let his children eat beef now and the Secretary of State wouldn't say yes or no. He refused to answer, one way or the other. Oh ohh.

Speak to y'all later.
Sal

Hey up Ducks,
(just practising for Yorkshire this weekend)


Sal- re Alan Milburn - Oooohhhh DEAR indeed. And last Friday's onedecentmealoftheweek at my mother's was roast beef. I haven't had any further reply to my letter to the PM on BSE but I'm not really surprised given how the whole subject has been brought back to the media's attention.

Thankyou for the tree pruning info. The cordons are over ten years old now so it's all secondary pruning. I will cut them all after the third leaf on Wednesday. The standard tree still has apples as well as leaves on it so I won't wait to do them all together as this mild weather will be ideal for pruning the cordons. Please thank your brother for me. I hope there are no ill effects from the holiday, a camper doesn't sound so inviting as an inn after a sodden tramp.

I will be seeing my own brother this weekend, up in Yorkshire. He will be getting grilled too - for christmas present ideas and holiday dates for February which he should have let me know about two weeks ago. BTW I won't be able to get to h2g2 from Friday 'til the following Tuesday or Wednesday, because yet another thing he hasn't got around to is signing for internet access.

Is the cuckoo author still active on h2g2? If not I don't see why you couldn't supplant the entry if its not very comprehensive. It would be very appropriate for a cuckoo entry in fact . Until I read your post I had never really thought about the implications of being a cuckoo -with no parents to learn from. They are born with knowledge already imprinted in their brains. How?! And can it happen to humans?

I got disconnected just now, the computer crashed after odd things happened with the top of the h2g2 page. I took the chance to check the phone has no off button. It doesn't have one but it does have a pause button I hadn't noticed. I tried pressing it a few times and all I got was Beattie telling me she didn't recognise the number I was dialling.
Til later
Wz

Ayup Chucks
(just trying to get into the spirit)

I get the impression you haven't succumbed to the dangers of roast beef Wazungu - so far . I'm not surprised you haven't heard from Tony about Nick's statement/defence/excuse/wriggle. It seems to me that when they find they've failed to hypnotise or hood-wink us and they have no wriggle space left, their policy is to fob us off with drivel and soft soap or else ignore us. Funny old system this democracy - the choices seem awfully limited, don't they?

Have you done your pruning yet? It's been a bit wet for working out of doors. Pouring rain and howling gale again today. The last person to leave work before me this afternoon, came back up to the office to warn me about opening the door. He said it was suddenly ripped out of his hand by the wind as soon as he opened it a crack.

My brothers enjoyed their holiday. They were both happy to escape from their offices. Their mobile 'phones wouldn't work very well in the mountains, which they appreciated. One lost a walking boot and had to go and buy a new pair - then found the lost one. The camper is huge, warm and comfortable - so don't waste your sympathy.

The cuckoo author is still active - another coincidence: he's the sub-editor who was recently doing things to my bacteriophage entry (problem currently being sorted by the way). Yes, it's just amazing to think that animals are born "knowing" things - except it's probably more of a reflex - like babies knowing how to hold their breath and swim from the moment of birth, practically. In a way, I suppose anything that's universal to humans, like recognising what smiling, frowning and crying mean, must be something we're born knowing.

One solution to the ringing telephone problem, when you don't have an off switch, is to unplug it. BT will still provide the 1471 facility I expect.

Hope you enjoy your weekend in Yorkshire. Bring us back some interesting expressions and see if we can understand them. We can sharpen up our communication skills.

Speak to you soon.
Sal

Hello everyone,

I notice that the front page says the site is going to be taken in for sugery next week. I hope the problems are fixed, because it has become a very fraught and frustrating exercise trying to chat by these means. Anyway, how are you all?

The weather here has been simply glorious and although it is a little cloudy today, there does not appear to be any end in sight to the sunny days and warm temperatures. I am shortly leaving the office for home and the weekend. Last evening we took Ben the Vandal for a walk down at the Bay and we saw a BABY pelican along with its mum and dad. Mind you, baby has to bee seen in context, it is some lump of a baby. Ben was completely unmoved by this excitement, and instead chased a rabbit. When we arrived home there was the mother wood duck and (still) her four quacklings on the lawn, so flushed with his lack of success at chasing rabbits, Ben took off after Mother Duck. Oddly, he ran right past (I mean within a few inches) of the quacklings, but paid them no mind at all as he futilely pursued the airborn mother duck. Ah well, the thrill of the chase.

Another recent visitor that seems to have taken up residence is a kookaburra. They are lovely birds, but their song is exceedingly raucous, especially at first light (currently about 4.30am). What with the equally raucous crows, spur-winged plovers and native hens, the dawn chorus takes on a new meaning - anvil chorus more likely.

I haven't seen or heard of Bran for a few days, but his beloved was away on business so he may have just put his head down and immersed himself in the magnum opus as a way of relieving the pain of being separated from her.

Well for now, heyoop (is that what they say in Yorkshire Wazungu), whatever that means, and I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Talk with you again soon.

Walter