h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Your page is just wonderful. It's kept me busy for more than an hour. It would probably keep me busy for longer but I have to go. It's the nicest I've seen and full of stuff I agree with.

Wow, thankyou. I visited your page in return, we have something in common - I also share the house and garden with woodlice slugs and snails, a plague of them. Yesterday there was a slug on the inside wall of the upstairs bedroom. I have no idea how it got there but that is going too far.

I read the guide entry you recommend , you're right its excellent.

I've always been fond of woodlice. Slugs are a damn nuisance but I quite like them anyway. How DO they get in the house though? I think they must have some facility for getting keys cut. They are, after all, quite soft, like soap. All they have to do is get hold of your key (which you probably leave in the key-hole most of the time), take an impression of it in their soft bodies and then leg it (or foot it) off to the nearest town that's large enough to have a key shop. A friend of mine had a mystery slug in his living room for about a month, leaving shiny trails all over his carpet every night and hiding somewhere during the day. Very puzzling! My aunt, who is cursed with a slug phobia, came padding downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water and trod on one in her kitchen. It got stuck between her toes and she had a fit of the screaming hab-dabs. I laugh my head off every time she mentions it, but she almost has a nervous break down just thinking about it. I can't help it. How can anyone be scared of slugs? I shouldn't mock the afflicted, but if you met my hard, sensible, down-to-earth aunt, you'd understand. It's the incongruity that makes it so funny. But poor slug - what a horrible experience for it! A couple of weeks ago I sent an e-mail to the editor of our village news letter, pointing out that a lot of villagers are scattering slug pellets so thickly in their gardens that the soil looks solid turquoise and they're supposed to be thinly scattered 3 - 4 inches apart. No wonder all the thrushes have disappeared from our area.

I get the mystery slime trails too and the slugs in the kitchen - I never go across the kitchen in the dark now. I think I'm sensible but I'd be silently screaming if I trod on a slug in bare feet. It makes my stomach curl up just letting the thought skim past.

I occasionally use slug pellets on specific small plants, I use ones the RSPB sell. But I've given up trying to grow most things that can't stand up to slugs. In this village I think its the number of cats too that have reduced bird numbers to create the present imbalance. I havn't seen a thrush in this garden since I've been here, about 16 years.

PS about getting in the house - some slugs I've found in the kitchen were too big to have got under the door. I believe they have tunnels.
They get to pipes and come through the wall where the pipe does. But that doesn't explain the one upstairs...

Gulp! This is dangerous. It's like discussing religion. Emotions run high when anyone suggests that cats aren't ecologically sound (which they're obviously not if the disappearance of lots of species of small birds, mammals and reptiles is deemed to be a bad thing). Ah well, here goes nothing:

I have several friends and relatives who have cats. I'm fond of them myself but I'm always a bit shocked at how completely indifferent all these people (my nearest and dearest) are to the carnage their little fluffy tinker inflicts on the entire population of small creatures for miles around - anything small enough to be torn limb from limb, gutted, decapitated, eaten, vomited, discarded under the sofa or in your earphones. They say things like "Ahh, but it's a gift because he loves me". And you say "but it's a water vole (or kingfisher or whatever). They're quite rare - endangered and being driven to extinction by that sort of attitude on the part of cat owners among other things. Doesn't that worry you at all?". And they say (all offended and hurt), "of course it does, but what can you do, puddy cats will be puddy cats . . . won't you Tiddles? Ahhh". I think they originated in North Africa and they've spread almost everywhere humans have gone (none in Antarctica yet). You have to remind yourself though, that as destructive as they are of hundreds or thousands of species world wide, they'll never manage to wipe out as many species as we do.

You don't suppose that slugs rather than mice are the real life pan-dimensional beings that can poke themselves into different dimensions and rooms in your house, do you? You may think they're revolting but let me tell you, I have a dog that is to slugs what cats are to mice. She brings them into the house half-chewed. I call her the snot-goblin. She gets this vile slug-emollient-slime stuff all round her mouth. Yuk. It's too horrible for words. Like you, we have a plague situation here. I've also given up trying to grow anything that slugs like to eat - it's a complete waste of time and energy. Why can't we have pretty slugs, like the ones that live in the oceans? You wouldn't mind sharing your lettuce and hostas with them, would you? What's the advantage of the RSPB pellets, by the way? If they're bird-friendly, I'll get some.

RSPB pellets are bird friendlier.

Don't get me wrong, I like cats, but there are too many here given that for birds the village is now an oasis in a desert. I don't believe some species have the numbers to withstand the cat hunting anymore, not with all the other pressures on their survival. And you're right, its like discussing religion, I've never dared say this out loud.

I also think that people don't think enough before having pets. A cat has become part of the "standard" household. Lots of them are virtually ignored except to have a dish of cat food put in front of them. No way to treat a cat. Thats why I say there are too many.
I always thought I'd get a cat when I had my own place but I've chosen not to.

Can you tell me why some animal and cat loving inventor hasn't invented a proper bell for cat collars, one that rings?

Sea slugs are a lot prettier I might even put food out for them. But I wouldn't mind sharing the veg. with the slugs we have. They don't share - they take the lot, before they've had time to grow properly.

There are probably too many cats just about everywhere. One of my friends is in danger of turning into her town's mad cat woman. She adores cats. Both of hers are rescued and she's in the habit of feeding strays. She would try to take responsibility for the world's cats if she could. The trouble is that a lot of people don't get their cats neutered/spayed and then allow them to go where they will. Cat sanctuaries are overburdened with the results. Town and country areas are overrun with feral cats. It's obviously not the fault of the cats. The RSPCA, funded by charitable donations, destroys thousands of healthy dogs and cats every year because there aren't enough homes for them. It's very depressing. In general, I dislike the idea of any more legislation than seems absolutely necessary, but in this case, I think legislation is needed to control the problem. Too many people can't be trusted to do the responsible thing. We're losing indigenous species because of this situation - and the cats are suffering too. With dogs the problem seems to be more visible, for example, a family moved into this village almost a year ago and their 2 dogs are allowed to roam the village at will. Their bitch has just produced her 3rd litter in less than a year. They don't ill-treat the dogs as such, so there's nothing the RSPCA can do about it. Several of my friends and neighbours now have one of these dogs for no other reason than they felt sorry for the poor little mites. Cats, on the other hand, are more inclined to go off and find a barn and have their kittens where nobody will disturb them, so people aren't so aware of the problem. Then the cats get on with their stealthy business of sterilizing the countryside of all it's cat-lunch sized species.

I don't know if or why a good cat bell can't be had. I would guess that a cat that's good at hunting could probably move so carefully that the clapper in the bell wouldn't move. You'd need a bell with an extremely sensitive clapper.

Populations of some species have, no doubt, already plunged below the critical level where they might have been able to recover and predatory species are just carrying out the final mopping up operation. Part of the problem is that small populations can be isolated from each other by towns and roads and areas that were covered in forest now have small patches of trees here and there. If there was a real will at a high level (I mean at government level) to stop an extinction before it was too late, it could probably be managed. But it's an absolute waste of time even trying if no effort is made to control cat populations at the same time. Then there are the escaped prisoners - the mink.

And you're right about the slugs - they don't share. They ate or spoiled almost all my strawberries this year. Last year and the year before they had the lot. I'm very fond of strawberries too.

My lack of stawberries this year is my fault, I didn't thin the plants out.

There seems no answer re the cats. They are an enormous problem in Australia I've heard. And they have no solution there. All you can do I suppose is raise awareness of the issue. The RSPCA don't appear to do that, but maybe, not being a cat owner I just don't see it. They could lose funds raising unpopular questions. I shall look tomorrow and see if they have a web site. Its all a question of balance. You protect one species but not to the point where that means the extinction of another.

Part of the cat explosion here was, I think, due to someone with too soft a heart, feeding a lot of strays.

The answer to the cat problem does seem pretty intractable. If it is soluble at all, I think the final answer is going to lie with neutering/spaying and I can't see how there's going to be any chance of success without legislation. I think one of the reasons it's so hard even to discuss the problem, is that in some places (Australia, America and some of the small islands where flightless birds and animals who've never had to cope with predators have been wiped out), suggested solutions have been harsh to the point of being inhuman. If we can't at least discuss the issues, then we just have to accept that all these species are going to disappear without the slightest hope of reprieve.

As you've noticed in your own area, the situation isn't helped by the kind-hearted souls who feed and encourage strays. A well fed, sexually intact cat is far more likely to be breeding - multiplying the number of strays/ferals. But it's also unhelpful for rabid, table-thumping, fanatical "final solution" advocates to be suggesting mass extermination. It's those 2 extremes that make it so difficult for the moderate people who might actually find the answer - if they were allowed to tackle the issues in a sensible, logical way - away from the atmosphere of hysteria that erupts when the extremists get together.

I think the RSPCA is always concerned about maintaining their charitable status and royal patronage. They don't challenge the status quo and they won't rock the boat. They perform an effective clean up operation in an area where government doesn't like to dirty its hands. You might come across a more honest analysis of the RSPCA's roll from an animal charity that doesn't have official charitable status. Charitable status confers certain advantages on an organisation so you have to ask why some organisations are willing to forgo it. I think Animal Aid was one of those charities that were unable to actually get registered as a charity because they did rock the boat. Just a thought. I'd be interested to hear what you discover.

I haven't had time to look but I'll let you know when I do
Having thought about it some more I think the only way, failing legislation, is to keep drawing attention to the other side of the problem. Hoping people will draw their own conclusions and work out the balance that needs to be stuck themselves.

BTW I know what a salamander is but "mugwump"?

Qh and I've been listening out for bimbobabble but now I've got the internet I'm not watching TV. I like watching Friends 'tho, that's just started a new series and ought to be a good candidate for hair etc. ads.

I agree that it would be useful to be able to bring the facts to the forefront of people's minds and keep them there. But it's difficult. Some people get bored, some people don't care, some people are in denial. When I was younger and fitter, I used to roll up my sleeves and get stuck in. What I discovered was that 1) people are hard work and 2) it's not enough to just shift the perceptions of a few of them.

The loss of, say, the water vole, doesn't have much direct impact on our lives. Why do you care? How do you convey the awful finality of the loss you feel to millions of people who (though they bear the little rat-thing no ill will) aren't really bothered? There are about 56 million people in this country, many of whom own cats (though the cat may see it differently). That's a lot of inertia. The world would be a very nice place if people would think carefully about things and reach what would seem to us like obvious, rational conclusions and modify their behaviour accordingly. For some unaccountable reason that doesn't appear to happen. That's why I thought, as disagreeable as it seems, legislation to force people to have their cats spayed or neutered, might be the only humane solution. From what I've heard though, some schools are doing a pretty good job of conveying the message to children. If only it would filter through to the rest of the population more quickly.

Mugwumps are very important people or (more to the point) people who imagine they're very important. Perception is all.

I'll look out for "Friends". That's a good idea. If bimbobabble can still be found, the adverts surrounding that programme are probably where it's lurking. Now that you spend your time online, do you use one of the free internet telephone service providers? Although my ISP is free, I still run up an impressive telephone bill. I try to exercise restraint but I'm not entirely successful.

Still haven't looked for the RSPCA. I'll do it at the weekend. The connection is too slow tonight.

Because I wanted to use the net free of worries about bills I chose to pay up front with BT. You pay a fixed amount, about £10 per month for an 800 free phone number for internet access which you can use from 6pm to midnight and all weekend. It also meant I could keep the low user payment system going for my normal phone bill making this the cheapest option if I spent any appreciable time online. Which I do. BT may not be the cheapest of this sort of system anymore.
A friend of mine thought Liberty Surf was cheaper. There are drawbacks - it can be very slow some evenings.

Thats good news about the schools.

Perception is a great deal!

Thanks for the very useful information. When I get my next bill in a month or so it'll probably scare the life out of me. I think I'll give BT Sales a ring and see about getting costs down. One of my friends uses ntl which provides free telephone access but he's had all sorts of problems with the service that have required lots of calls to their very expensive help line. I dislike being irritated by things that frequently go wrong even more than I dislike parting with money, so ntl sounded like a false economy.

Gooday Salamander the Mugwump,

Just caught up with this thread. Feral cats are a huge problem, but Australia still has a few species of flightless birds - I'd not want to confront the cat that could take out an emu. But in many cases, it is the introduced species of animals that cause so much devastation in Australia - rabbits, for instance. And introduced plantlife - what genius was responsible for introducing gorse and blackberry to this country? Take care,

Walter.

G'day Walter, nice to see you over here. I didn't know there were problems with the plants as well. But it's obvious when you think about it. It's frightening what interfering with ecosystems can do.

Its just as well Capt. Blye (?spelling - of The Bounty) didn't make it back here with those coconuts.

Salamander, I finally got round to looking at the RSPCA site but it's very pet orientated and I think I'll follow this up with the RSPB instead. Find out if they've any views or research on it. It would help to know some independent facts/figures. Australia with its flightless birds is the best illustration of the problem I know.

Gooday Wazungu,

Thanks for the greeting - maybe it's your entertaining conversation that keeps me bobbing up in new forums. There are other flightless birds in the Antipodes, for instance native hens (which are for all the world just like the 'Road Runner') which abound here in Tasmania, although they too are probably a bit big for a cat to handle. And our fabulous Lyrebirds. If you count New Zealand as part of Australasia (which we do today because the Wallabies knocked over the All Blacks on the weekend) there are the Kiwis. By the same token, we have a wonderful variety of birds here, they are a constant joy, even the really noisy ones that insist on waking me before dawn. I won't ramble on, but for instance yesterday, in our garden, among others we had blue wrens, kookaburras, magpies, a heron (yes, a heron), goldfinches, greenfinches, wattlebirds, a pair of wild ducks, a pair of scarlet robins, three parrots, two brown hawks, our resident Spur-winged Plovers and the aforementioned Native Hens, and about five hundred starlings. And when we took Ben the vandal for a walk down to the Bay, a Pelican was one of the interested water birds that came along to say hello. So there is an upside, although we have to do our bit to keep things that way. Take care,

Walter.

Gooday Walter of Colne

If I gave the impression that I thought cats were killing anything bigger than themselves, whoops! I really meant the little animals that fall easy prey to cats. You're right. Lots of introduced species cause and imbalance and then, I suppose, a different balance when a new equilibrium's reached as seems to have happened with grey squirrels and red squirrels here. The Roman invaders brought us some things we could have well done without, a couple of thousand years ago. They brought us nettles and rabbits for example. Apparently they ate nettles (they lose their capacity to sting when boiled). Some parts of the South West of England and lots of Scotland are over run with rhododendron which is pushing out native plant species. Human invaders have to be the worst though. The little fire ants that cause so many problems in some places can drift off on pieces of log and populate a new island and they can even take some of their "cattle" (aphids) with them, so I suppose it's not unprecedented in nature for an invading species to introduce another species to make its own life easier. But we just do it so much more devastatingly. We thought we were going to have a problem with the New Zealand flatworm for a few years, but we don't hear much about it any more. I hope that means that the flatty didn't like our soil conditions and packed its bags and left. It was killing our native earth worms which are very beneficial to the soil but wasn't then taking over the soil improving roll that our worms performed once it had killed them.

It's a hell of a job to sort out once a new species has been introduced to an area and has settled in nicely. Do you know of any examples where the problem has, in fact, been solved? I can't think of any. I was just about to say that at least there's an awareness of the problem now and people are far less likely to take new species to an area where they didn't exist before. But for one thing, it's probably a bit late because so much damage has already been done and for another thing, we currently have about 7 areas (that the government admits to) being planted with GM crops - at least one of which is next to a farm where the farmer has just achieved "organic" status, which takes years and costs them a fortune. That poor so and so is likely to lose their organic status as a result of cross pollination from the GM crop. And our government seems to be daft enough to think that on this little island we can have both GM and non-GM crops growing. So has anything been learned I wonder. No geniuses here I fear.

The RSPB might well be a more fruitful source of information. I did think the RSPCA would be a bit reluctant to provide information that people could find distasteful. Organisations that are more ecology orientated are probably a better bet.

GM is depressing. It seems to me, as you say Salamander, that nothing has been learnt by the powers that be.The whole GM issue seems to completely ignore the idea of an ecological balance, the only sustainable way of maintaining biodiversity.

I think our politicians still see conservation as "saving the tiger" by campaigning to stop hunting them and not wearing fur coats. The idea of the food chain, that by exterminating one irritating bug you can undermine the survival of a whole range of birds, animals and plants isn't a part of their thinking.

I will cheer up by imagining Walter surrounded by myriads of birds, conversing with a Pelican, the Southern Aurora just beginning in the sky above.

There are still myriads of birds even here if you go to the right places. Although I can't imagine them being enough to wake you up!
Not by singing anyway. The young martins outside my bedroom window have an irritating phase when they knock on the eaves at 4.00am for some reason. That has woken me up. I hiss, (don't want to wake the neighbours), "thats enough of that!" at them and they stop, for about 5 minutes.