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Doughbird

Post 1

Haze: Plan C seems to be working

Hey Ted.

I've just been appointed Aerodynamageek and 2nd mechanic for the car. Seeing as how we're supposed to stop Joolsee becoming a blotch on the side of Mt Sandcastle, I'd reckon the first thing we do is weld the steering mechanism so it can't be changed from dead ahead. Of course we'd put a bearing on the steering wheel hub to let him think he's steering.

I was going to build the outer in the shape of a garden shed, as there is nothing as impressive as a fast-moving shed. I also wanted to put in a Chrysler 4.3L Hemi to power the wipers, as they'll have to cope with a LOT of dead bugs and the odd fodder.

Any thoughts?
Haze.


Doughbird

Post 2

ted.tfl3.113713

Great Ideas Haze, Yes garden shed...Perfect. The most incredible aerodynamicless shape known. Bravo, I guess that's why we pay you the big bucks(or heavy pounds, however you take it.)
I've always been fond of the hemi, and should do well, since everyone knows that any shed worth its salt needs a good set of wipers. What do you think blower or super charger? Hmmm.
ted


Doughbird

Post 3

Haze: Plan C seems to be working

Hey! Good job on the engine! Test run succesful and devoid of fires.

I think the supercharger was a brilliant idea, but now that the wipers are wearing through the slat windows, I think we should make the windows out of cubic zirconia.

Also, I have an old 'Daytona USA' cockpit that we maybe should put in. It's got a steering wheel that does nothing, a gearstick that does nothing, and stick-on guages...

I think the only guages we need are:
Joolsee dead? Yes/No
Speed record broken? Yes/No


Doughbird

Post 4

ted.tfl3.113713

Cubic Zirconia sounds good, and if that doesn't work we can always make the windows out of sheet steel and paint the scenery on the inside, Joolsee won't need to see the track with all of the "safety" modifications. If we give him a nice comfortable recliner he won't care about windows!


Doughbird

Post 5

Haze: Plan C seems to be working

Or just paint a concerned, lip-biting blonde.

I think I'm going to whack on the tail section of a cessna.


Doughbird

Post 6

Cakewalker

*acting in an advisory role only for insurance reasons*

Might I suggest two essential additions to meet 21st century vehicular expectations? Two dampened can-holders and a flowerpot.


Doughbird

Post 7

Haze: Plan C seems to be working

Dampening the can holders! Why the HELL didn't I think of that!


Doughbird

Post 8

ted.tfl3.113713

Great Idea, we may want to install little can seat belts (just in case).

In the event of any night testing we may want to do, I acquired one of those banks of lights they have at those stadiums. I think by fitting an industial generator to the wiper motor it should work well. I think we'll overcome the power to weight ratio problem by a technique I call 'focused polyignoration'.


Doughbird

Post 9

Haze: Plan C seems to be working

Yeah, someone tried explaining that to me but 'the Simpsons' was on TV.

I've always thought that there was scope for irrationality outside mathematics.


Doughbird

Post 10

ted.tfl3.113713


D'oh


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