This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1141

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

What’s a tornado’s favourite game?
– Twister!


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1142

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce

Why did the hurricane wear a monocle?
– It only had one eye!

How does the rain tie its shoes?
– With a rainbow!

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
– You might step in a poodle!

What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
– Want to go for a spin?


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1143

pauh, still writing

I only know of three serial killers: Snap, Crackle, and pop. You're safe as long as you don't let them out of their box.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1144

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

When Pluto was declared a planet again a friend of mine quoted Shakespeare's "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet".

Makes me wonder if Pluto smells just as sweet as - say - Uranus smiley - huh

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1145

Rosa Baggins daughter of Pronto Baggins and Mimosa Bunce


Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he’s just depressed.
He’s trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1146

pauh, still writing

Now that trump is infected, he is a Covidiot.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1147

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

Famous last words: - I'm off to test my newest invention: I have attached two axes to my boomerang. This can't go wrong! smiley - ok

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1148

pauh, still writing

I sent the lady to the closet for a sarong, but when she showed it to me, I said, "That's sarong one!"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1149

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

A middle aged man carrying a salmon under his arm, walks into a fishmongers and asks ? do you have fish-cakes ?
The fishmonger replies - yes we do!
The man says that's good! Because it's his birthday!

smiley - groan


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1150

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Yet another smiley - groan joke smiley - biggrin

Are you poorly ? one of your ears is dark brown ?
I've been on holiday to "tans an ear" smiley - whistle


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1151

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

How do you get someone to "chuck up" a 6ft cask from their throat ?
Tell them to start "coffin"

smiley - groan


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1152

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

2 llama's going on holiday smiley - smiley 1 said "alpaca suitcase" smiley - groan



Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1153

pauh, still writing

I just flew in from Baltimore. Boy, are my arms tired.

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because he wanted to be poultry in motion. [yes, it was a he, a rooster]

Why do motorcyclists wear leather jackets? because crinoline loses its shape in the wind.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1154

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

(Punk Rock 1975–80)

Why did the punk cross the road ?
Because he was stapled to the chicken smiley - erm


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1155

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

- I have tried to lose weight, he sighed. - Sad to say the result was very slim smiley - erm

smiley - offtopic


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1156

Pierre de la Mer ~ sometimes slightly worried but never panicking ~

On my way through the Black Forest I came upon a house made of gingerbread, cake, and pastries. I shouted a hello to the elderly lady living in it and asked her how it was living in it. She sighed: - It's alright in the winter but a living hell in summer what with all the bees, mosquitos and wasps smiley - erm

smiley - offtopic


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1157

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

"Mary had a little lamb" (part of a nursery rhyme)

But? who was the gynaecologist ? smiley - whistle and smiley - evilgrin


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