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Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1101

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

1. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut and a BBQ?
A barberqueue

2. Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

3. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps

4. What do you call a train loaded with toffee?
A chew chew train

5. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days

6.How do snowmen get around?
By riding an ‘icicle

7.How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger

8.What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette

9. What do frogs wear on their feet?
Open toad sandals

10. How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed?
You've got three extra hoes


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1102

paulh. the world is a circus, but why d I have to work without a net?

Those are all brilliant, Rosa. smiley - applause

The war was going very badly. The King was looking around for something he could tax that wasn't already being taxed. Then he thought of the deer in his forests.

Well, it was easy to tax the fawns that each doe gave birth to. The King needed more revenue, though. He tried taxing each of the harts, but the day after this tax went into effect, they all died. The reason? Hart a tax!


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1103

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

smiley - cuddlesmiley - smooch

I agree with Paul - Brilliant katsmiley - smiley

Once a King! Always a King - Once a Knight! Is quite enough smiley - winkeye


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1104

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Who's that over there ?
That's Iziah.
Is that because he's got 1 eyes higher than the other ?
No! It's because his father couldn't spell Robert


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1105

Pierce The Pirate ~ out of Hotblack Desiato mode again ~

A man in his so-called best age was in hospital. On his deathbed. His wife sat beside him.
- Woman?
- Yes, dear?
- You have always stood by me. You were there when I took sick. You were there when I lost my job because of that. You were there when I went broke. You were there when we were evicted. You were there when we had to live in that cardboard box under the old bridge. You were there when I had the stroke. And now you are here at my deathbed. You know what?
- No, dear?
- I think you are bad luck!

smiley - pirate


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1106

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

Thanks Paul, they are Christmas cracker jokes

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already own a tent!”



Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1107

Rosa Baggins, (see LOTR appendix Hobbits Family trees for more information)

What is the favourite beverage amongst trees?
(Tree) Root Beer smiley - ale.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 1108

paulh. the world is a circus, but why d I have to work without a net?

Trees make terrible mathematicians because they can't make square roots.


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